Crying Wolf
by Riseha
Summary: AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.
1. Chapter 1

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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**Summary:** AU, The flap of a butterfly's wings can create a hurricane on the other side of the earth; what difference would one life never meant to be create? Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure.

**Pairing(s):** Depends of the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Hm... None for now.

**Author's Note:** I noticed the lack of Self-inserts in this awesome fandom and decided to give it a shot. This is my first time writing SI so I hope people will give useful pointers and see how well received this is. The word length will increase so don't be too deterred by this chapter's length!

Now, enjoy... XD

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**Arc I — Introduction**

**Chapter I — Illyria.**

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_Illyria._

Illyria, I heard a call, followed by the smoothing of my hair. I squirmed under the touch, how cold and calculating and wrong the touch felt. All I wanted was to be far away from the woman who called my name so lovingly, so wrongly.

Illyria, another call that I'm not as adverse to. I tensed as a smaller hand patted my head, smoothing the dark spiky locks resting atop my head. I stilled instantly, stopping my struggle.

"It's so unfair, Illumi," the woman who's always petting my head and bugging me whined; I could feel her gaze on me and I could just feel her pout. "She always listens to you, not her mother," A pause. "Who's me by the way," she added sarcastically.

The boy who must've been her brother did not answer and eventually, the woman left, huffing and mumbling to herself. "Do you want to see him again?" he inquired softly. He never baby-talk to me, as if he knew who I truly was.

The soul of someone who had killed his true sister.

It was not my intentions to kill the infant's soul, but I hadn't felt a shred of sympathy for the baby, my greed and will to live far outweighed whatever morals I had been brought up with.

I had died far too young (in my opinion, nineteen was still young), and I thirsted for another chance to live, whether or not it was meant for me. I do not remember much about my past life's details—at least, not the tiny facts, I do know, however, that I have no older brothers in my old life; I have—_had_—a younger sister and a much younger brother.

I had always been the one to look out for the younger ones, never the one being looked after. The feeling was... nice.

(Only years later would I realize that I was being carried in the arms of a trained assassin.)

I nodded, recalling his earlier question and when he carried me in his arms, I actually felt giddy. Not very mature I suppose, considering my real age, but this was a different matter entirely.

Only when Illu-nii was near that I ever got to meet him: my twin brother, Killua.

Mother—I don't think I know her real name—never permitted me to meet him. Heck, I didn't even know I had a twin until Illu-nii took him to me, letting us to play before bringing Killua back right before Mother returned from her daily 'workout'. The second time I met Killua, Illu-nii was the one who brought me to him; it was either me visiting him via Illu-nii or he visited me.

It was usually the latter but I preferred the former.

Because then, I'd have a valid excuse to be carried around by Illu-nii (whom, I had to admit was cool and was someone I looked up to, adored and admired despite his cold deposition) and then I get to look at something other than the plain dark butterfly-themed wallpaper of my room. I absorbed everything I saw, from the plain white walls, dark in the shadows and the spider-webs, the wooden floorboard and the cracks in the old walls (implying age of the building).

I blinked, jostled slightly as Illu-nii shifted me to rest more comfortably on his right hip as his other hand reached to slid the door open to Killua's room. I already had my favorite room memorized; it was the same as mine, but the butterflies were replaced by spiders. I felt small laughter bubbling as I shifted in Illu-nii's arms, anticipating to see Killua's bright face—

The door banged open, startling me and Illu-nii badly. I realized the doors were opened, but not by my brother's hand.

I stiffened.

Even before Illu-nii had opened the door, the_ witch_ had slammed it open.

I blanched when I saw Mother, a snarl forming on her lips, as her fingernails dug into a squirming Killua's body. The first sniffles escape the one-year-old's body as his mother's rage poured through him. I nearly joined my older twin in bawling but Illu-nii's firm grip on me reassured me that she probably wouldn't be harming me or Killua anytime soon.

"Do you take me for a _fool_, Illumi?"

Big Brother did not grace our egg donor with an answer. He stood stiffly, mind undoubtedly whirling for a way out of this mess we're all in.

Killua let out a loud whine, clawing at his mother's arms to be free, but when the woman's iron grip did not abate, he turned to us, desperately stretching his arms towards us, his blue eyes wide and desperate, tears gathering.

"Do you think I won't notice my daughter's scent from my son's? Do you think I am too old to sense the change in his Nen? How my twin children had interacted despite my wishes?" she broke into sobs, her visor hid her eyes from us, but I know they were bright with tears. "I—all I want is the best for the both of them! Being together—"

"Goodbye, Mother," Illumi interrupted rudely, coldly as he shifted further away from our emotionally unstable mother. He nodded to Killua who'd started crying, small fists reaching out towards his siblings who were edging away. "We'll see you later, Killua."

"Don't you dare turn your back on me—Illumi!"

Big Brother didn't even turn to acknowledge her. His voice was cold and held no emotion as he spoke. "You're just under stress from your pregnancy, Mother and is less than rational now. Let's talk civilly once you've regained your senses."

I'd once grew up in a loving family. I knew perfectly well that this was not how a child should be interacting with his mother but I didn't comment on it. My new Mother was a different case entirely, she was an exception, I didn't think she was sane.

After that disastrous encounter, I did not see Killua for roughly a few months, Illu-nii was barely able to visit.

He used to come once every two to three days, but his visits had dwindled from thrice a week to twice bi-weekly.

I was lonely and I missed both my brothers.

The one who took over babysitting me most of the time was my other older brother: Milluki.

I didn't adore him like I did my other brothers. He was as insane as our Mother, just on a lesser degree and his concentration was on something else entirely. Games, manga, computer and anything concerning the modern world.

I supposed I didn't mind him as much once I realized his love for technology.

I was crazy about technology too, just not on the same level as the seven-year-old was. I was aspiring to be an engineer but that dream was dashed when a car made a swerve too early, too fast and when it ran out of control... the rest was history.

When he realized I had taken a liking to the same things, he was incredibly nicer; no longer did he snap at me or ordered me to stand in a corner until a maid came to pick me up. He was patient and passionate when he talked about his love for computers and his manga, he even patted my dark hair (the same shade as his) and offered to babysit me more.

I don't know how I should take the news.

My contact with Killua was non-existent by then, Illu-nii grew even more distant and even seeing him was a miracle by the time I turned three. I was incredibly depressed; I don't think it was something Millu-nii's figurines of Illu-nii and Killua (he very, very reluctantly made those parts) could cure.

The only upside of missing Killua and Illu-nii was not seeing my nutty Mother. My hopes of avoiding her completely was dashed when a maid came rushing in, claiming that Millu-nii's presence was required.

She said nothing about me and Millu-nii was reluctant to leave me alone with his precious collections that were breakable and easily destroyed in many ways; against the maid, Hisa's wishes, I was brought along.

"Illyria!"

My head connected painfully with the floorboard. I whined, dizzy and dazed as I raised my arms to fend off my attacker. White and blue filled my vision and I stopped mid-punch.

I blinked.

"Killua...?" My twin laughed, extending his arms and when I didn't react immediately, tackled me into a hug. This time, I managed to brace myself before I could kiss the floor again. I chuckled at his enthusiasm but worry gnawed at me. "Where's Mother?" I inquired softly, looking up at Millu-nii who'd brought his laptop and was busy typing away.

He looked up at my inquiry and jabbed his thumb at where I heard the screaming originating from.

I shuddered as another blood-curling scream tore through the air, unconsciously shrinking into Killua's bigger form. "What's wrong with her?" As much as I detested her, she was still the woman who gave birth to me, had gone through the pain to give me another chance at life, and I had never wished death upon her.

Okay, that was totally a lie. I've cursed her so many times I've forgotten what I'd said.

"She's giving birth," Millu-nii said simply. "I looked it up, it says here that it's an extremely painful process as the mother—"

"Don't care!" Killua interjected rudely, earning himself a glare from Millu-nii. Illu-nii was leaning against a wall, looking as if he didn't have a care in the world, but he was watching our interaction with a careful eye.

His eyes caught mine and I forced myself to look away.

Strange as it was, I was shy and nervous to meet his gaze.

Millu-nii seethed.

"Are you really Illyria's twin? I'm compelled to believe otherwise for someone as ignorant as you—"

"Hey!"

"Enough."

I stiffened at the sound of the rough voice. I turned, looking up and instantly had to remind myself to breathe when I saw the bulky male. His curly silvery-blonde hair fell down his back and his cat-like blue eyes glowed even brighter in the dark. His tall and muscular frame had always intimidated me, so it was no surprise I shrank away when his gaze bore down on Killua and I. He was dressed in the same navy colored short-sleeved shinobi _shizoku_ as the last time I saw him.

This man was Mother's husband, which made him my Father.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was told how to address him, I would've forgotten this man was the one who'd sired me. I had close to one interaction with him, I had only seen him a handful of times and none of them was a father-daughter bonding time at all. To cut a long story short, I avoided him as much as possible.

His eyes trailed from each one of us in order, from oldest to youngest. His eyes riveted back to mine once he was done with his once-over of his children.

"Illyria," he called, holding out a hand. "Come forward."

He spoke like a king and I was expected to obey, which I did. I trembled, wondering what I'd done to deserve his attention. He placed his callused hand on my dark navy hair and I trembled even harder when he applied pressure to his hold, wondering if he was going to squeeze my brains out.

"Did you enjoy your time with Killua?"

What on earth was he talking about? Mother never even wanted us to meet!

I hesitated but nodded anyway when I recalled that he was waiting for an answer. "Yes," I murmured, trembling like a leaf, wishing that Millu-nii or Illu-nii would interfere but I find it unlikely; the former was too cowed by the man, and the latter simply did not care.

"Good," he said, holding his other hand out to Killua. "Your relationship went spectacularly different from mine and my twin's own." I blinked, taken aback. I didn't know Father had a twin. But then again, did I know anything about this new family and life of mine? "I had a twin sister too, Killua, I understand how you feel to be separated from one another."

"Where's she now?" Killua asked curiously, looking up and meeting his father's eyes; either he had balls of steel or he had no sense of danger. I decided that it was a little of both.

"I killed her."

My blood went cold, I was sure I'd blanched and had turned completely white.

"Do not fear, Illyria, it is not necessary for the female twin to die. In the end, it comes down to who has the stronger will to live, who's the dominant one between the both of you."

"W-what?" I spluttered. What sort of nonsense was he spouting? "Why do we have to kill one another?" Through the haze of fear and confusion, I marveled at myself, how I managed to spit out a demanding question at this man. It was probably the most I've spoken to him.

"It is necessary within the Zoldyck family. Only by killing one own's twin will the other be able to reach heights unheard of, the powers you can gain by devouring the other..." I felt the pressure increase on top of my head; I snuck a glance to my right where I saw Killua's trembling form, how wide his blue eyes were as he stared at his own feet.

Abruptly, the pressure disappeared along with another scream from Mother, this time, a new wail of an infant joined her cries.

I stared after the retreating man's back, feeling numb and weak all of a sudden.

The name Zoldyck rang a very loud bell in my head.

Where have I heard it before?

Someone prodded me in the back. Stiffening, I glanced up to see Illu-nii nudging me forwards and into the room where Mother was crying out in fear. I ran forward, curious to see what had frightened Mother so.

I gaped at the doll covered in blood.

"What sort of sick joke is this?" Mother demanded angrily, glaring, at least, under the visor, I assumed she was. "Where is my newborn?"

One of the maidservants gulped audibly, pointing meekly to the doll lying limply in Father's grasp. "T-that is y-your n-newborn, Mistress."

"A stillborn?" Millu-nii suggested.

"No," Killua murmured, shifting closer. "Look closely." Silence descended upon us as we squinted at the naked doll. Then, the void eyes, lacking any pupils or whites began to close, the yawning gap that was the mouth of the doll widening, the nose scrunching up as the_ baby yawned_.

My jaw dropped.

Killua smiled. "He's adorable, what's his name?"

Killua. Killua._ Killua_—why does that name sounds so familiar? Along with Illumi, Milluki and the Zoldyck—

No.

No fucking way.

I couldn't possibly be in the Hunter x Hunter series—

But the newborn's face! So terrifying and inhuman and cruel I knew who it was on first glance. How could I have missed this for so long? Did I ignore all the obvious signs intentionally?

"A... A-" I choked, making a strangled sound which drew me many stare. Under the intense stares, I somehow managed to choke out a name, "Alluka."

Killua beamed, the only one unperturbed by the events happening so far. "Yep! Alluka it is!"

Seeing his happiness, compared to by dawning horror, we couldn't have been farther from twins.

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**QUESTION:** Do you wish to see any romance in this story? If so, with whom?

**REVIEW AND LEAVE ME YOUR OPINION!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

**Summary:** AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure.

**Pairing(s):** Depends of the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Torture.

**Author's Note:** This OC is created from parts of my personality. The part of me who is easily angered, the part of me I know is selfish, holds a grudge and is scared of pain and getting hurt—I separate parts of my personality into different SI stories of mine. There's two others, respectively a Fairy Tail SI and Naruto SI, check it out if you will.

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**Arc I — Introduction**

**Chapter II — Bitterness**

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" Do we really want to be rid of our resentments,  
our anger, our fear?  
Many of us cling to our fears, doubts, self-loathing or hatred  
because there is a certain distorted security in familiar pain.  
It seems safer to embrace what we know  
than to let go of it for fear of the unknown. "

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Everyone feared Alluka.

Even Alluka's own immediate family. Illu-nii was too busy with whatever his job was, and he simply gave off the aura of he didn't care. Millu-nii made it clear he wanted nothing to do with his youngest sibling, and frankly, neither do I.

Yes, I know I was being unfair, to ignore my own younger sibling because I fear what he might do.

I probably would've just contented myself with sitting by Millu-nii's side, watching as he played our favorite video games. But Killua wouldn't leave me alone.

To be honest, I don't know how I should act around him. Father told us that someday, we would battle to the death (whether it was a sick joke borne of his sick and distorted sense of humor, I have no idea) and being close to someone who'd be your would-be-killer was stupid.

I tried avoiding him but he clearly didn't notice at all.

He dragged me into every activity he did; we did everything together, from eating, sleeping, bathing and even babysitting Alluka. Unlike me, Killua had taken a liking to Alluka and since no maid wanted to take care of him, we three-year-old kids were left with the task.

It was despicable.

My ire towards every adult, everyone who neglected the inhuman Alluka overshadowed my fear of him most of the time. It was a good thing because then, I'd be able to take care of him.

It was terrible of me to imagine him as a doll to practice with whenever I changed his, ugh, mess. To my surprise, Alluka functioned like a normal baby. Ignoring his small size (as small as a kitten), and the eyes and mouth, he was just a baby and I felt overwhelming pity: the main reason why I cared for him.

I mean, I knew from the series that Alluka was shunned even by his own family, all except for Killua who was practically everyone's favorite.

(Okay, I was jealous, but so what?)

Despite having a past life, I didn't know much about taking care of babies. I had to get Millu-nii to do some research, print it out for me and Killua to do it.

It was not without mistakes.

I had dropped Alluka a handful of times—Killua dropped him twice the number of times I did—and I fear that Alluka would be mentally-challenged in the future due to our carelessness.

"We should ask Illu-nii for help," Killua commented one day when he barely managed to stop Alluka's fall. "We suck."

I bristled. "It's not our fault," I mumbled lamely. "Alluka doesn't even look like a real baby, that's why we couldn't take this seriously." Killua met my eyes dubiously and I knew he was thinking the same thing.

The doll-baby shifted, yawning again, squeezing its—uh, _his_—eyes shut, and shifting. Killua looked fascinated as usual, in contrast to my unease, as our eighteen-months-old baby brother moved in my grasp.

I refrained from cringing in disgust as I placed the baby in the crib (stolen from the storeroom, it was formerly Millu-nii's) and took a hasty step back. Even after a while into this babysitting job, I still find it very hard to not cringe whenever Alluka actually giggled and reached out to me.

I smiled stiffly when Alluka's small fists reached out towards us. "Come on, Killu—Illu-nii says he wants to see us." When Killua lingered, I grabbed his arm and dragged him away.

Yukiji—one of our first cousin once removed—the maid, smiled hesitantly at us. Her brown eyes sparkled kindly and her hime-cut brown hair was tied in a small braid behind her back. She was the picture perfect of innocence, but I knew she was one of the Zoldyck's greatest infiltrating assassin, a spy of sorts.

The only downside was that she was a mute, which limited her a lot and eventually, she was deemed unusable by the family and was now one of the maids.

Yukiji gestured for us to follow her, which we did.

The Zoldyck mansion was huge, and we were forced to go down many different hallways, twisting and turning till I was dizzy and had to grab onto Killua's hand for guidance. He squeezed my hand in reassurance as we came to a stop in front of double metal doors.

I was uneasy, the feeling only intensifying when I saw Yukiji's sympathetic, encouraging smile; I knew she had been in there before and the experience was far from sweet.

I was all for running but before I could pull Killua away, the doors slid open, revealing Illu-nii and Millu-nii. The latter shot me a sympathetic look before he glared at Killua who glared back.

"I'll take Kil," Millu-nii announced stiffly, glaring even harder when Killua shifted away.

"I thought you _like_ Ria," Illu-nii responded quietly, his tone flat, as if he wasn't opposed to the idea at all.

"Which is why I didn't chose her," My second brother snapped back, irritated as he grabbed a squirming Killua's arm and carried him under one arm, like a football.

I swallowed, glancing back at the very inviting hallway. I glanced back at Illu-nii, at the cold glint in his eyes, and my body decided to make a run for it.

I did not get far as Illu-nii snatched my collar, leaving me dangling in air, my feet kicking uselessly as I started struggling. I would rather be with Millu-nii and I knew Killua would rather be with our eldest brother than the fatty. I would gladly switch but Illu-nii did not care, he hurled me onto a strange machine.

I blinked, dazed from the impact and shocked that my brother would actually hurt me.

Before I could yell at him, I heard Killua screaming, and turned. Millu-nii had chained his arms to something and my blood went cold when I saw the wires, cackling with electricity. I blanched an even whiter shade than before as I pushed myself into a sitting position.

Illu-nii forcefully pushed me back, snapping his fingers as automatic restraints chained me down. This was fairly different from Killua's torture.

I scrambled for information. I knew Killua had high electric and pain resistance, and it originated from torture. It just didn't occur to me that I might be having the same training.

I paled; my mind hopelessly comforting me that it wouldn't hurt... that bad.

I flinched when I heard Killua's screams, how wide his blue eyes were and how his white hair was standing up. I expected to feel the same pain but instead of seeing cackles, I felt...

Heat. Hot, my back was starting to feel uncomfortably warm.

I furrowed my brows, wriggling to see and in a futile attempt to free myself (never mind the metal straps). My blood ran cold when I saw Illu-nii turn up the temperature. I glanced down at the metal restraints. Metal work fine as heat conductors and since it was connected to the rest of the operating table, all made of metal—

I screamed.

Not from pain (not yet), but from fear.

"Already?" Illu-nii cocked a brow, his darned hand not stopping as he increased the velocity of the heat.

I arched my back in a desperate attempt to dislodge myself from the table, to free myself from the pain—I did not stop screaming in all my attempts—and I could see and hear Killua doing the same, tears spilling like crazy from our eyes.

Real, scorching fire licked my skin; the heat was unbearable and I thought I would suffocate when I saw smoke. Or maybe it was just me going to black out anytime soon.

I couldn't describe in detail, how long the torture went on and on—all I know that it lasted for an eternity. Through the haze and cacophony of Killua's screams combined with mine, I faintly made out Millu-nii turning away, clasping his ears and Illu-nii closing his eyes, seeming unaffected but I thought I saw the faint flinch.

My sight blurred from the tears, the pain.

I wondered if this had anything to do with Killua's connection to me, that the pain was being intensified because the both of us were being tortured at the same time.

By then, I was ready to lock myself in a room with no one but Alluka forever.

It was that bad, for me to willingly spend time with no one but my youngest brother with no Killua as help. I wasn't being dramatic, I dare anyone to bathe in boiled water, it wasn't anything compared to what I went through.

_Went... through?_

I raised my arm to my face, seeing the angry red of my skin, and sobbed in relief. I crawled away from the table, blinded by tears as I stumbled blindly into someone. I barely recognized him as Killua, as I crumpled to the ground, the summer air as soothing as snow on my scorched skin.

I didn't know how my older brothers managed to entangle me from Killua to treat my wounds. I was enraged, the shock and betrayal settling in once I could register anything but pain.

I think I did throw myself at Illumi and hit him with sloppy hits, still crying and crazy from pain. He didn't resist, just held me down until I grew tired and didn't move a muscle.

I could feel him applying something onto my abused skin, some sort of ointment I supposed but I didn't even have the energy to question him, just allowed darkness to claim me.

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Torture did not end at being scorched and electrocuted (we were taking turns), it extended to whippings, beatings and the completely _wonderful_ feeling of having our skin _peeled off _and many more gruesome tortures my brothers did.

In the span of a few weeks, I was ready to die.

I knew I sounded selfish, when I was saved, given a new life after how short my first life was, I demanded death (when I was merely what, four?) from torture.

I could endure anything but this—poverty, slavery, hunger—_anything_.

(Too bad I knew I could barely handle anything related to sufferings.)

I tried everything I could think of to stave the pain when it came. It extended to tricking myself, playing a sick game with my own mind.

I convinced myself that whatever I felt during_ those times_ were pleasure—I didn't know how well it worked, but it was completely embarrassing when I moaned (I knew I was going crazy by then) and my brothers looked at me oddly.

I didn't want them thinking I was a masochist, that would only increase the torture.

I even considered running away but there was Killua and Alluka to think of, and besides, even if I ran, I knew someone would be sent to haul me back and with my mere skills, I was sure I'd lose in a fight with one of the servants.

(I was sure I could kick the ass of a cat or dog, though.)

I laid on my aching back, on the soft plush of the bed (large enough to contain Killua and I). I glanced at my older twin from the corner of my eyes, he had his small arms wrapped around me and for one moment, I could just fool myself into thinking that this world wasn't all that bad.

The ache in my hands, in my back and how my headed pounded, how many bandages wrapped around me that I was practically a mummy, chased that thought away quickly enough.

I couldn't shove away the memories of torture, I saw Millu-nii's pained expression (and I knew he was being forced into this, that I could maybe, just maybe forgive) and Illu-nii's cold face.

That cold mask, that face I hated. I felt like clawing at it many times now, but I knew I had no such ability to defeat him or so much as scratch him with my nails.

Now, the only times I could tolerate him was during training.

Training was fairly normal, and it was within my sphere of expectancy. I could endure running laps till my limbs felt like falling off, I could endure during push-ups, sit-ups and all the other form of exercises that would work me to the bone.

I didn't see how torturing and this sort of training could ever help me. My sparring partner was Killua, and though I bested him in terms of agility and speed, his stamina and strength far surpassed mine. I won five out of ten spars, making us equals but I knew it would only be a matter of time when I'd stand no chance against him.

Father's words echoed in my head: _The day will come when you'll fight to the death... Only by devouring the other will one twin reach heights unknown..._

I glanced back down at Killua's encircling me, and I imagined how easy it would be for him to sink elongated claws into my jugular, or how easy it'd be for him to snap my neck. I could also imagine how it'd be so easy to kill him now, defenseless and then my existence will be guaranteed.

But if he dies, the series will be altered (not that I care about others, I have my own problems to deal with), and I'd be left to suffer my older brothers' torment all alone.

I hated being alone, especially alone in the depths of hell.

Killua wouldn't be leaving me so soon, I promised myself.

I turned on my side, hoping that it'd staunch the pain and discomfort from my back. I don't think I was getting any better in resisting pain, but I didn't dare tell that to Illumi (no more _Illu-nii_ now, that traitor) lest he tried out something even more horrifying and painful.

(My brother could be quite creative when he wanted to be.)

I scowled when I failed to fall asleep. Maybe I could go for a walk; I gently disentangled myself from Killua's grip and stumble onto my feet, falling onto my knees the moment I tried to stand.

Oh, right. I forgot the reason why I woke up to pain and discomfort was because I had a whole day of running and being whipped senseless today.

By _Illumi_.

I grounded my teeth together in anger; he was my older brother, he was supposed to protect me from the pain, not _inflict_ it. Cursing and seething, I struggled to stand again but resigned myself to sitting for a while; my anger was making me see red and I better calm myself down before I did something stupid.

I leaned back against the silky comforter, my mind going back to thinking mode, where it'd hopelessly work out a way to endure the pain, how I could evade it or ease it.

All plans of mine were futile so far and Killua's brilliant plant was to just endure it. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back, trying to stop my mind's useless plans. But then I'd just end up thinking about my brothers and how I would be taking revenge on them.

I clenched my fists, unclenching them when I scented blood. I glared at my elongated nails and the veins bulging. This was gained by inducing some sort of drug, I couldn't remember a time without this ability. Apparently, this drug was injected during infancy.

This fact, how to gain killer claws, was neglected in the anime so I was mildly surprised.

I wondered what other information was left out, but then again, there were many things that simply couldn't be explained, such as the confusing shit of _Nen_ and whatever _Ten_ or_ Ren_ that followed—

_Wait_.

Against my will, against hope, my mind whirled as it scrambled desperately for more information.

I came to a stop with _Ten_. I think it's a basic defense technique but one must have their aura nodes opened. There are two ways I know of to learn _Nen_: one is to have an experienced user "initiate" the student but the idea was shot down because then I'd be gaining questions I have no answer to; the other option is slow meditation.

Grimacing, I crossed my feet, closed my eyes and tried to remain still.

I didn't know how much had passed before I felt someone disrupting me by shaking my shoulders roughly. Irritated, I opened my eyes and turned, the glare I had fixed on lessening when I saw Killua's sleepy and disgruntled features.

"What'cha doing?"

I shrugged, feeling embarrassed; losing sleep over a futile attempt at gaining the ability to use _Nen_.

"Nothing," I muttered uncomfortably. Killua snorted in disbelief, already poking my cheek for an answer.

"Liar~" he sang, feet kicking the air, as he grinned at my disgruntled expression.

"Baka," I sneered, grabbing a pillow and tackled him; he didn't bother to resist, nor did he wait to retaliate.

Only in the mornings do we indulge ourselves, in our room, separated from the harsh reality of an assassin's family outside.

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It was Friday, which meant electrocution day.

I grimaced in anticipation for what was to come. As Illu-nii—no, Illumi—set about his work, I shifted, my senses tingling like crazy when he came close. I frowned, I never paid much attention to him whenever he set about our torture devices, but today, my senses made me notice him.

I glanced at him, noticing how his body seemed to glow with aura.

He turned the same time I did; his void black gaze met mind as he leaned further forward.

"Did something happened last night?" he asked softly, his calculating and wary as he studied my expression to detect a lie.

I carefully shook my head. It was the truth—just not the whole story—nothing happened, I didn't gain any _Nen_-related abilities. I stopped, pursing my lips in thought.

Did I achieve _Nen_? It would only be the reason why Illumi paid so much attention to me today. On normal days, he acted as if I was a burden or we didn't even know one another.

(And I was often left wondering had he ever cared, or when had he stopped caring.)

As the first sparks started, as the pain started infiltrating my body, I bit my lip to keep from screaming. I didn't want to seem weak.

I figured I had probably about ten minutes before I start screaming and begging him to stop.

I squeezed my eyes shut, futilely sending impulses, wishes to every part of me, desperately trying to find the nodes and allowing my aura to flow through my whole body to stop the pain.

The pain increased threefold; the tears started leaking from my eyes as I started struggling. Behind my closed eyelids, I imagined myself, my body shrouded by a barely visible cloak and—

The.

Pain.

Stopped.

My eyes snapped open, unable to believe my incredible luck. My eyes met Illumi's and I saw him fumbling (groping a few wrong buttons with grace) before he grabbed the switch and turned it into a higher velocity. The barrier fluctuated along with my panic and I felt pain invading before I forced myself to calm down and shakily maintain the barrier.

To my right, Killua's screams resounded in my skull, reminding me that he hadn't the same protection as I did and this simply wasn't fair.

Finally, as my barrier crumbled to wisps in the air, as pain forced my sight to pure darkness, the torture stopped. I was freed from the restraints but I found myself face-to-face with Illumi, his empty eyes boring into mine.

"Where did you learn how to use _Nen_, speak."

I shook my head rapidly.

"Is that a _I don't know_ or a _I'm not going to tell_?" Illumi's eyes narrowed. "For your sake, I hope it's the latter. Get up, I'm bringing you to Mother."

My stomach churned in fear.

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**QUESTION:** What sort of Nen-type do you think Illyria will have?

**REVIEW!**

**Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ**


	3. Chapter 3

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

**Summary:** AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure.

**Pairing(s):** Depends of the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria and whatever OCs that show up in the future. Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** N/A.

**Author's Note: **Thanks a lot for the review, and to the people who faved and followed, but it would be much more appreciated if you guys can pitch in and help to make this story more popular.

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**Arc I — Introduction**

**Chapter III — Twins**

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Illumi kept a very, very firm grip on my arm as he guided me out of the torture room.

Killua whined in protest, the five-years-old trying to follow but Millu-nii held him back. As metal doors closed in on us, I heard Killua yelling insults and profanities at our second oldest brother.

I dug my heel into the wooden floor, futilely trying to free myself from my eldest brother's iron grip.

Talk about impossible.

I seethed, clawing at his hand but he didn't even flinch. "Let. Me. Go!" I yelled, struggling.

"No," was his flat reply.

"She's going to _kill_ me!" I screamed hysterically, and I knew that was what I feared most, that it was the reason I was struggling like crazy. I knew I was being a hypocrite; when I was being tortured, I wanted to die and now, when I'm probably going to die, I was willing to be tortured instead. I really couldn't decide which option sucked more. "Let me go!"

"No," he said. "listen to me, I'm your older brother and when I order you to shut up and stop resisting—"

"My real brother would never bring me to my death! My older brother would never torture me!"

Illumi turned, a strange glint in his eyes. If I hadn't known any better, I would've called the emotion flashing by hurt.

"Then maybe I'm not your brother," he finally responded, his voice colder than ever.

I stilled.

And that was the opening he needed to sweep me up in his arms; I had a strange surge of vertigo, only now did I realize how tall he was, but I didn't stop squirming and cursing him.

Someone tutted. I stiffened, momentarily stopping my struggles and looked up to see who had approached us: Mother. She still wore those frilly western gowns, her visor in tact and her hat hadn't changed at all, still perched on top of her hair, but even under the visor, I could see the healthy glow of her pale cheeks, signs of pregnancy. I gazed at her swollen abdomen, I guessed she was into her seventh-month.

Great, pregnant women's mood-swings would only serve to make my death quicker. Awesome.

"What's with the noise, hm?"

"Mother," Illumi greeted, surprisingly polite as he dumped me in front of Mother. "Illyria can use _Nen_."

I expected Mother to drop her teacup on my head then and turn into a raving and raging demon, but she merely quirked her lips and placed her cup down. Her visor hid her eyes, and I was unable to discern whatever she was thinking.

Much to my surprise, she waved Illumi off and gestured for me to sit before her.

Trembling, I did as told. She was my mother, wasn't like she would seriously consider killing me would she?

Who was I kidding? This was the matriarch of the Zoldyck family, a skilled assassin despite her looks, age and current status! I'm dead, I groaned softly, looking at the brightly lit room—probably the last place I'd ever see.

The walls were a bright mint green, white furniture, all were western style. The windows were fool-proof glass, allowing us the view of the garden. I blinked in surprise when I saw the autumn leaves falling but didn't comment on it. At least the scenery was pretty good enough to die in.

"Now, little doll, what's your problem?" she cooed, surprisingly gentle and sweet—much like a normal mother—as she pushed a glass of water towards.

I wonder if the drink was poisoned. Mother had a smile on, looking warm and welcoming, not like the psychotic mother I knew she was. I wondered what sort of miracles the baby was doing to her. Then, abruptly, she pulled a razor out of her sleeve and dump it into the water.

I recoiled. She really—

Mother chuckled. "Don't be silly enough to drink it now, doll," she pushed the glass towards me. "This is to test your _Nen_ type though I do not have a spare leaf at the moment, I believe the razor will be enough to replace it. This is called the Water Divination technique, a way to determine what type you are. Close your eyes, concentrate and exude the aura around you."

"How do I know what an aura is, or if I'm doing it right?"

"You'll know, doll, it is in everyone."

I stared at her dubiously, hesitant to close my eyes in front of her, but decided to do as told since I'm going to die anyway and I'm not going to risk angering her.

I stretched my small hands, hovering beside the glass and closed my eyes, concentrating on summoning and releasing the impulses I felt to my hands. Considering the people I'm related to, I expected to be a Transmuter or a Manipulator, I expected to see the razor moving away or for the taste of water to change when a black cloud formed above the glass, then it descended and exploded in my hands.

I yelped, jerking back as water coated me, soaking my plain shirt and jeans.

I blinked furiously, rubbing my eyes and staring at the shattered glass shards, dumb-founded. That was not normal.

I knitted my brows in concern. I was a... Specialist?

I glanced up at Mother for confirmation. She had her lips pursed, but she didn't seem too surprised.

"I knew it," she sighed, picking up her cup and taking a dainty sip, she was facing the scenery outside. I blinked, confused and she elaborated. "There is always a Specialist among every pair of twins in the Zoldyck family. At least, when it concerns the Main Branch of the house." She tilted her head to the side in thought. "I had a younger twin myself."

I could not stop the gasp. "What?"

"I will tell you," she spoke, then she did a once-over of me and tutted. "Once I have you dressed up, little doll." Mother stood, with all the grace of an assassin, and guided me out of my seat. She flitted through the drawers, pulling out a kimono. "Like it?" Mother asked, a smile playing on her lips as she turned to me.

I reached out to take the blue kimono, a shade lighter than my hair, and was patterned with sky-colored butterflies. Mother pulled out a violet obi and gestured for me to turn around.

I grimaced; I didn't like dressing up that much but when I saw Mother's lips thinned in impatience, I hastily did as told.

It didn't take long with Mother's experienced hands dressing me. Once she was done, she glided towards the bookshelf behind us. I, already seated and trying to scratch an itch behind, turned in my chair to stare at her, carefully inspecting what she was doing, lest she took me by surprise.

I couldn't read her expression and that alone set me on edge.

Mother returned to her seat, grasping what seemed to be a photo album. Unconsciously, I leaned forwards, curiosity taking over my fear, as I peer down at the photos of older generations of Zoldyck.

Mother stopped flipping the pages, pointing. I stared at the photo that had her so fixated. I knew instantly, on first glance, that she was not the twin Mother was speaking about. The pale girl smiling up at me had a dark shade of silver hair, grey, and gentle purple eyes.

Looks were deceiving within the Zoldyck family, I knew she wasn't as frail as she looked.

"Who's she?" I dared to ask.

Mother hummed. "Your great-great-grandaunt, Maya Zoldyck, younger twin sister of Maha Zoldyck. She died at the age of fifteen by the way. She is a Specialist, whoever's full name she wrote in her own blood will die. She's a pacifist, a peace-loving fool who dreams to escape the family trade. It's not wonder she died."

Mother scoffed when she said the last part and I couldn't help but wince when I heard that. When I die, I wonder if a mother will tell her younger twin child about me, how I died and what sort of coward I was.

My chest simmered in anger at the mere thought.

Mother didn't seem to notice as she turned another page, stopping and gesturing to a boy's photo. I estimated him to be in his late-teens or early-twenties.

He looked young, but his face was contorted into a scowl, nevertheless, he was _hot_. His lilac eyes glared out from the pages. I glanced to the picture by the side and saw the same boy with another boy, both had the same face, just that this other boy had longer hair.

"Who...?" I trailed off, seeing the name under the photo.

_Zeno and Zero Zoldyck._

Yuck, was I just ogling my granduncle? Eww...

"Let me guess," I muttered sarcastically. "He's dead."

Mother agreed with a hum. "Mhm, quite the aggressive and fiery young man, this one, or so I heard. He died in an attempt to kill your grandfather as he's clearly the weaker one, like all younger twins."

I flinched; Mother either didn't care of didn't notice.

"Ah, here, your aunt, Silva dear's younger twin sister."

Even though I was sick of this twisted mother-daughter bonding session, I couldn't help but look at the woman in the picture. She was beautiful, her silver hair had a blonde-tint to it, and her skin was a beautiful peachy shade. I thought the skin color was natural at first, but then I saw the knives coated in blood and my stomach churned when I realized she'd bathed in blood.

She wore a blue gown, western style with pearls adorning the dress. It was a low-cut in the front, the frills trailing to the back. She had a blue ribbon in her hair, complementing her sweet features and blue eyes. She was hugging a white curtain, bleeding.

I blinked rapidly, realizing that it was not a photo at all, but a painting.

"She's talented," I murmured. "She drew this, didn't she?"

Mother nodded. "Silva loved her dearly, but that woman committed suicide, killed herself in front of him," Her lips twisted into a snarl. "She's mocking him, I know it."

I glanced at the silver-haired woman, a mysterious smile playing on her lips, captured by herself. The dress was familiar. My eyes trailed around the room, zeroing on the cupboard and from the slight opening, I saw blue frills of a blue dress peeking out.

I saw the dress the moment I stepped in, no wonder it looked so familiar.

"Do you wear it?"

Mother glanced at where I'm looking and frowned. "No," she said. "The dresses here are all hers. Silva kept it and gave it all to me as presents. I never wear them. I have my own style, thank you very much."

"Why did Father say that he killed her—"

"Is it not better to delude yourself into thinking that, you killed her not of your own will, than to admit that she's so sick and disgusted of you that she chose to kill herself instead of dying by your hands?" Mother lips curled in disdain. "I have no lost love for Silvette, now, moving on, I wanted to show you my own twin..."

"Ah, here he is. Handsome, isn't he?"

She was right, I marveled at the devilishly good-looking boy who smirked up at me.

His navy blue hair was the same shade as mine and his pale skin was a trademark of the Zoldyck family. His red eyes glowed in the poor lighted photo when it was taken. His face was cruel and mocking and I shuddered to think of what his victims had been through.

He looked so powerful, so ethereal I didn't think he would die.

"How did you kill him?"

Mother smiled, not at all disturbed that we were talking about how she'd killed her own brother. Her twin brother, her other half.

"I have my ways," she murmured in reply, seemingly in her own dreamland. "We often argued, he always hurt me, and he told me pain was love."

_No wonder you're so fucked up_, I snorted but gulped when I saw Mother's unrelenting stare on me.

"I believe him, little doll," Mother murmured, her hand fiddling with her visor and hat before, she turned and took it off. My eyes widened when I saw black hair (lacking the navy blue shade of her twin) spilled, nearly touching the ground. Mother was as beautiful as I'd imagined, both terrible and beautiful. Mother laughed, somewhat maniacally.

Her mismatched eyes, one as red as her twin's and the other as black as Illumi and Millu-nii's.

"That's why, little doll, I ripped his right eye out, with my bare hands, and replaced my own with his. We carry one another this way, the same way Maha and Zeno adopted their twin's personality, and how Silva dear grew his hair out like his sister."

I blanched, jerking back and nearly falling out of my seat.

"Little doll, what will you give Killua?" Mother reached out her hand.

-_I ripped his eye out_-

I screamed, fear swallowing all rational thought as I shot out of my seat and scrambled towards the door, and out of it, running without paying any attention to where I was going.

I stumbled into someone, still screaming.

I sobbed, tears blurring my vision but I managed to make out the faint outlines of a wrinkled face. The old man grinned toothily, spreading his arms wide open like he wanted to hug me.

"Why, if it isn't my great-great-granddaughter?" I stilled, my tears already drying on my cheeks. "Little Ria, your father called you, strange to see you here. I didn't think you know of my existence." The old man laughed heartily, his raspy voice soothing my heart.

But I was still on guard.

He was my ancestor, and I knew from the series that he was powerful, the only man to survive having challenged the strongest man in the world.

Maha Zoldyck, the older twin of Maya Zoldyck...

...who died.

I jerked away, taking a few steps back. This man was dangerous, my common sense told me, the irrational part of me adding that he'd killed a younger twin (_me_).

"Oya? Wha'cha so scared of little Ria? I'm ain't goin' to kill ya or anything." He placed a hand on my shoulder, gently steering me towards the _kotatsu_ table. An incense was burning and I wrinkled my nose at the scent but didn't comment out of politeness.

"Calming, ain't it?" Maha grinned, his few teeth shining in the dark. I wondered if he had tore into his twin's neck with his teeth, like some sort of vampire. Father said something about devouring twins, didn't he?

"So," Maha's old voice drew me back to reality. "why're ya crying, Ria-chan?"

I blushed. Okay, that was embarrassing. Fortunately, not one of my brothers caught me crying like a lunatic. What sort of sane kid runs away from his or her mother?

_Well, the kid who'd been through death once and didn't look forward to it, obviously._

I was tempted to lie, but the wise glint in Maha's eyes told me he'd know it if I lie. Stumbling over the first few words, I spluttered out the cause of my distress.

I expected him to laugh or scoff but he just nodded, as if he understood.

"So she told you, huh? That's more of a Kirito-thing to do." I blinked, confused. "Ugh, she didn't have the decency to tell you his name? Well, Kirito is Kikyo's twin brother. He's, um, rather unhinged. I suppose Kikyo adopted his personality to remember him by."

"I thought she hated her twin, and me," I mumbled but Maha heard me clearly.

"She didn't. I think she loved her twin, even though he always bullied her. I remember young Kikyo, she's so sweet and innocent, hard to imagine now, eh? Kirito always makes her cry, but, then again, he's also the only one who could make her laugh or smile; I don't think they hated one another though. And she certainly doesn't hate you, child, where on earth did you get such a ludicrous idea?"

I blushed even harder. I didn't know what it was that made me feel like a fool, but I suppose it's because of his age.

"I thought she favored Killua," I muttered. "and the only way to keep him safe is for me to be killed."

"In the end, which twin dies is up to the twins themselves."

"Why do we have to fight?"

Maha shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. They say killing your other half gives you power unimaginable, and yes, it's true. I grew stronger overnight after M-" he cleared his throat awkwardly. "she died. "

"It's always the younger twins that died," I muttered, fists clenching in anger. "It's not fair!" I exploded, yelling the last part out loud.

Maha blinked, taken aback. "Now, now, child, don't be so aggressive. You won't know for sure what fate has in store for you, don't worry—"

"It's easy for you to say that," I seethed. "you're the older twin, you didn't die; _you_ never had to worry! You would never know how _we_ feel!"

I scrambled backwards, and out of the door.

Disgust poured through every pore of my being. I hated people like him—people who pretended to care, to empathize when in truth, they didn't give two shits.

I yelped when I stumble into someone's chest, arms instantly caging me and lifting me from the ground. I started thrashing, barely registering the person as Illumi.

Only when I was tired out, panting, that I stopped, shifting in his arms to be more comfortable as he carried me. He didn't say anything concerning my distressed (and unhinged) state, just carried me.

"Where's—" I sniffled, rubbing my eyes. "Where's Kil?"

"Acting as crazy as you."

My anger ebbed along with the hatred and disgust, as I blushed. "Tsk. I- I'm not being crazy, I was just..." I grasped his shirt, fists clenching, gritting my teeth. I was pretty sure I was like Killua in his angered mode, eyes narrowed, the whites of my eyes dominating as my pupils turned to slits. "sorting my problems," I mumbled lamely.

Illumi stopped walking. "Can you walk?"

I nodded, but truth was, I didn't want to walk, I want him to give me a free-ride. I'd forgotten how comforting his arms felt, how nice it was to be held by him.

He lowered me to the ground, patting my head, the gesture somewhat stiff as he eyed the hem of my torn kimono. I had ruined it in less than hour, I was pretty sure it was a new record.

"If you find it hard to move about in a kimono, I'm sure you'll like my gift."

I blinked owlishly.

"What's the occasion?"

"Happy birthday, foolish little sister."

And he left.

By the time I was reunited with Killua, I was sure I had a brother complex for Illumi, which sucked.

I scowled, glaring at the yo-yo Killua was playing with. "Will you stop?" I crossed my arms. "It's annoying. Where did you get that anyway?"

"Illumi gave it to me," Killua replied, pausing and blinking then he turned to me with a wide grin. "Oh, yeah, Illu-nii told me to say this: Happy birthday, sister!"

I blinked, then slowly, smiled. "Happy birthday, _onii-chan_."

It was very rare that I called him by that honorific and he beamed happily.

Since it was such a special day (we only turn five once, they say, but I'm turning give twice now, and even though I don't even know what date it was today, I think it still counted), I decided to make a very generous offer.

"Let's go see Alluka."

* * *

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Alluka tackled me the moment I walked in.

I stiffened in surprise, weariness and fear, but when I heard the soft and childish laughter of joy, I slowly relaxed, my muscles relaxing, as I peeled the small child from me.

"Nice to see you too, Allu—" My breath hitched.

I tilted Alluka's chin sharply upwards, gazing deeply into his _very vivid red_ eyes. "Y... you... can you see me now?" Ever since he was born, Alluka had had Nanika's eyes and mouth, this was the first time I saw a very human Alluka.

Alluka, four-year-old now, blinked, tilting his head to the side curiously. "Whatever do you mean, nee-chan? I always see you and Killua-nii-chan!" And speaking of my twin, Alluka twisted and tackled my brother into a hug, laughing as he greeted the boy.

"Pick me up," he requested.

I stiffened when I heard that tone; my heartbeat picked up. Shit, if Killua rejected Alluka...

"Sure," My twin agreed readily, not knowing of the danger he was in. He knelt and hooked his arms around Alluka, pulling him up with him, smiling at me.

Hesitantly, I inched closer to inspect the situation.

"Twirl around," Alluka said, his voice now borderline an order. Killua blinked, but did as told, twirling and lifting Alluka high in the air.

"What else, your majesty?" Killua laughed, obviously taking the requests as a joke and a whim on Alluka's part. Only I know of the serious danger.

I gulped.

"Hug me."

"That's easy," Killua scoffed, pressing Alluka's head to his chest and nuzzling the smallest Zoldyck's black hair. Hair like mother's. "Is there something else — _Alluka_?!"

I gripped Killua's arm tightly, stopping him from pulling Alluka. I swallowed the terrified scream when I saw the empty eyes, no longer was it the lovely Alluka, it was the cruel Nanika.

"Who're you?" Killua demanded, the air of a leader and I knew this was a small sliver as to why Father chose him as heir in the future. "Where's Alluka? What did you do to my brother?"

I did not speak, too terrified and wary to do so.

"_Anata no negai wa nanidesu ka_?"

Killua gaped, dumbfounded. "W-what?" he spluttered, gazing at me in shock.

With courage I did not know my cowardly scared-of-death self had, I stepped forward, holding out my hand towards my younger brother.

"Hug me, Alluka," I said, voice trembling and not above a whisper.

"_Anata no negai ga fuyo sa re_."

Nanika tilted its head, a grin splitting its face, and for a moment, I feared that he'd crush me to death. Then I blinked and the atmosphere changed, someone tackling me into a hug, bubbly laughter coming from my abdomen.

My eyes met Killua's mystified ones.

I gently pried Alluka's small form of me, holding his shoulders tightly as sweat of fear beaded down my cheek. "Alluka," I whispered, voice tight with fear; my tone of voice made Alluka's smile drop. "What happened just now?"

Alluka blinked, thinking then he brightened. "Oh, that, I dunno, I just felt compelled to wish for something and then..." he shrugged. "I dunno, really, I don't. I just heard what you want and then I feel that I must hug you!" He snuggled against me, perfectly contented.

"Oh," Killua muttered in a small voice. He may be young, he may not have foreknowledge like I do, but he could sense the danger of the different entity that had possessed Alluka's body before. "I guess we shouldn't say anything about this, huh?" He scratched the back of his head, staring at me for my opinion.

I nodded.

"It's not like anyone wants to come here anyway."

Alluka looked up abruptly when I said that, he looked a little sad and I winced, regretting saying that out loud. We'd explained, in little and gentle words, that the rest of our family didn't have it in them to look after Alluka. Whenever we said that the rest of our family was too busy to spend time with him, he always looked a little sad, like he knew the truth and had already accepted it that nobody wanted him.

"When can I meet everyone?"

I winced, then glanced at Killua who'd always been the better liar.

He shrugged. "No idea," he said smoothly. "You know them, always so busy they barely had time to pee, haha, or something."

Okay, maybe he wasn't all that great at bluffing.

"Or something," I agreed lamely. "Haha."

Alluka stilled, a grin lighting his face. "I hear someone. Someone's coming! Is it one of our brothers?" He sprang to his feet, rushing out of the room he'd called home for many years now.

The room wasn't anything special. Actually, it couldn't even be called a room. It was a shed. Used plates and cups littered the wooden desk, things Killua and I had been too lazy to bring out. The room was poorly lit with a bulb swaying at the top; shelves full of books we'd scavenged to teach Alluka how to read and write took up most of the space in the small room. A bag full of clothes hung from the wall by the door.

Chess boards and shogi boards leaned against the wooden walls. Sandals and shoes littered the ground. A futon was messily strewn by a sleeping bag's side in the corner. An electric fan was by its side, to cool Alluka when he went to sleep.

There was a _kotatsu_ table in the middle with papers and workbooks, a worn sofa with a broken guitar on it. Killua had tried to play it, thinking that it was an easy feat, and had gotten so frustrated by the sounds of a tortured owl, that his nails had grown into claws and he'd severed the strings then crush it on his knee.

Talk about a lunatic. It was almost funny, how Killua could be cute one second and then murderous the next.

Not that I could complain.

"Alluka," I called. "Wait!"

He threw the door open the same time Millu-nii raised his hand to knock.

"Pig," Killua greeted, placing a hand on Alluka's shoulder and pushing him into me. "What're you doing here?"

Millu-nii scowled heavily, glaring at Killua, then gave a curious stare Alluka's way before his gaze finally landed on me. He completely ignored his younger brothers as he spoke to me, "Mother's giving birth."

I blinked. "So soon? I thought she was just into her seventh—"

"Nearly eight, at any rate, she's still giving birth," Millu-nii arched a brow. "It's totally your fault."

I was even more baffled, bristling as I was accused of the early birth. "What? I can't control—"

"I dunno," Millu-nii shrugged. "Maha_-idaina sofu_ says it because you walked out on her, dunno what misunderstanding you ladies have, but the stress and panic forced an early birth."

Oops.

"Is Mother okay?" Alluka asked, concerned as he frowned up at me and wow, did I feel dirty at causing the possible death of my mother and whatever younger sibling about to be born. I'm sure the next child is Kalluto, but, if something happens...

_What if the world only wanted five Zoldyck children from the Main Branch of this generation?_

"Let's go," I murmured, stomach churning at the thought of a dead baby. "bring us to Mother."

* * *

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As I'd expected, no one was happy to see Alluka.

Even the aloof Illu-nii's guard flew up, he _glared_—a feat I did not think he was capable of—at Alluka.

Our youngest brother either had to be an idiot or blind (both of which he was not) to not notice. Alluka flinched, shimmying behind me and Killua's slightly larger forms; his grip on my hand was almost unbearable.

"How's she?" I asked, clearing my throat before speaking. I wanted to shrivel up into a husk when everyone's gaze landed on me.

Even Maha_-idaina-idaina-sofu_ and Zeno_-sou-sofu_ was there, unlike the time of Alluka's birth. Two people—they killed their own twin—I absolutely did not want to see, along with Father—my sire I could tolerate because he didn't kill his sister with his own hands but... what sort of sister kills herself so that she _won't_ see her brother longer than necessary?

(What sort of man was my father to elicit such hate?)

"I'm not surprised _you_ ask," Illumi (an awesome brother one moment and a pompous bastard the next,_ nice_) remarked coldly.

"_Idaina-mago-musume_," Maha called, running up to me. "Jeez, don't just run out on me, I haven't even finished what I was saying yet. I didn't mean that ya're about to die! I wa' jus' sayin'—"

"I want sweets," Alluka muttered, staring up at me.

I kicked him.

Maha blinked, the cheery and goofy expression sliding off to replaced by a cold, calculating glint which was the trademark of our family. He held out his hand to Alluka, a few wrapped up candy in it, the boy did not take it.

I snatched it and pressed it into Alluka's palm, hoping that the next wish would not be impossible. I asked for a hug the last time, not too big a wish, so maybe...

"Illyria," Alluka called, his iron grip on mine so tight I think he'd already stopped my blood flow. Shut up, Nanika, shut up. "I want you to hold me."

"Demanding little brother, isn't he?" Maha chuckled, the cold look in his eyes disappearing.

I didn't relax even as I shifted my hold of Alluka (I was regretting bringing him out, now wonder the family locked him in). Killua laughed nervously. "Yeah, haha."

"I want—" Mother's pained scream drowned out whatever Alluka was saying.

My panic skyrocketed. Oh, shit. "What?" I demanded. "Repeat what you just said, Alluka, I didn't hear you."

My little brother didn't repeat it, instead, his grip tightened on mine. Great, thanks, Mother, you just cost your whole family's death by screaming. What was the punishment for rejecting Alluka? Wasn't it something along the lines of death for your loved ones and a few more people who you spent the most time with?

I shivered. I glanced desperately at Killua. "Did you hear?"

"No." Killua turned to our other brothers. "You heard what he said?"

Illumi arched a brow. "That brat's wish can be fulfilled later, Mother comes first."

"Millu-nii, please," I turned to my plump brother who continued typing away at his laptop. "Aniki!"

"I think he said something like," he shrugged. "uh, miss me?"

"Uh, I think he wants to piss, yeah, haha," Killua grabbed my arm and dragged me away with Alluka in tow; we sped down the hallway towards the closest washroom to make the lie seem more believable even though I was sure they were wondering why Alluka needed two of his siblings to help him piss.

"What did he want?" Killua demanded the moment we stumbled into the bathroom.

"He wouldn't repeat," I said, irritated. I knelt before my brother. "What other words rhyme with '-iss?"

"Tease? Piss? Rich? Kiss?"

I pressed a kiss on Alluka's forehead, because the first three were ridiculous. I don't think Alluka would want to be teased and we're already rich, I dunno how to grant that. Piss? That would be tried out once I kissed him.

When Alluka reared back, Nanika's grinning face greeted me, and I sighed in relief, falling back.

"Oh, thank Kami," I moaned, slumping down onto the toilet bowl (fortunately, the lid was closed).

I wasn't going to die after all.

"What is it that you wish for?"

Killua stepped forward. "For Mother's safe birth. Let her give birth safely, successfully." I winced when Killua made that wish; this was saving a life, how tasking of a wish is it?

That wish also made me feel bad, Mother probably wouldn't be having trouble giving birth if it wasn't for me. _Yeah, well,_ the cruel conscience of me said. _If she hadn't been so cruel, she wouldn't have the problem now_.

"Let's go and see if it works, onii-chan, onee-chan!" Alluka tugged on our hands, hard, running out of the bathroom as if he hadn't been openly scorned by the rest of the family and had nearly gotten all of us in trouble.

When we came back, the people hanging about the hallway was gone. I glanced about, seeing the maid Yukiji smiling hesitantly at us and pointing us inside.

Twin cries greeted us. I was puzzled, exchanging glances with my own twin before stepping in.

Unlike Alluka's birth, Mother lovingly cradled her newborns.

Newborn_s_.

Another pair of twins. I elbowed my way to the front, tugging on the sheets to pull myself forward. I still couldn't get a proper look, it was hopeless—

"Whoa!" I yelped, clutching onto the arms holding me up. I knew the grip of my eldest brother enough, so I didn't mind. I concentrated on the babies' faces. "What're their names?" I must know, what if they're like me, children unplanned and had foreknowledge?

"The older one is Kalluto," I blinked; Kalluto had no twin in the anime. "The younger one is Noelle, a girl, I think." Mother smiled, more at Kalluto than at Noelle, there was love in her gaze, the visor abandoned in this birth.

Noelle received less attention from the rest of the family (because there was no point in getting attached to a child who was destined to die earlier, same case with me and though I understand now, it still hurts), Alluka was flat-out ignored. Alluka smiled painfully when people pushed him away.

I stood back, taking his hand and the baby Noelle. I didn't think anyone noticed with their baby shower over Kalluto—the _older_ twin. Little lucky brat; and even Killua was being drifted away by Zeno and Maha for a little chat, concerning the future heir stuff.

"Alluka, what say you we go back to the shed?"

My little brother smiled, grateful for the cover as we left the happy family. We were unwanted, I knew this, but... knowing and experiencing it was different all together.

Alluka stretched out his arms. "May I hold her?" he squealed, jumping up and down in his enthusiasm. I nodded, carefully shifting the baby into his arms even though I don't think it'd be much danger if the baby fell. I mean, Alluka had dropped his head countless times, and hey, he turned out fine!

"Sure."

Alluka smiled down gently at the baby who was sleeping soundly, unaware that she had been forsaken since birth.

"Welcome, baby. I know this place may not be the best place, the best home, and we might not be perfect, but whoever you grow up to be, Onee-chan and I promise to love and care for you."

I turned away.

Kalluto had no twin, no one mentioned her; the chances of Noelle never being born in the first place was possible, or maybe the original birth also went to hell and only Kalluto survived.

Or, maybe, Noelle had been born and she'd died in a battle with Kalluto.

Either way, I sure didn't like the situation. I glanced briefly at Alluka who was playing with Noelle. "Get her a blanket," I muttered, shuffling towards Alluka's bag. "Keep the newborn warm." I didn't know how true this fact was, it just seemed sensible.

I wondered how Noelle would look like when she grows up. Definitely, she'd look like Kalluto, right? Since Kalluto looked enough like a girl already, it wasn't hard to imagine how his younger twin would look like.

"We're one big happy family, right, onee-chan?" Alluka glanced up at me for confirmation, stopping whatever he was telling the newborn to face me.

I smiled bitterly—what he said couldn't have been further from the truth.

"Yeah, we'll be together, always," I said, wondering if the bitter taste of lie could be washed away.

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**REQUEST: **I would really love to know of your opinion about the backstory I had for the twins in the Zoldyck family.

**QUESTION:** Should Noelle be allowed to life or die?

**R**E**V**I**E**W**!**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

**Summary:** AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure.

**Pairing(s):** Depends of the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria; Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Deaths. Violence.

**Author's Note: **Thanks a lot for the review, and to the people who faved and followed, but it would be much more appreciated if you guys can pitch in and **review** and help to make this story more popular.

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**Arc I — Introduction**

**Chapter IV — Battle**

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I didn't know how long passed—there was no calendar in handy—but I measured time with my siblings' growth.

I estimated myself to be about six-years-old, and in accordance, Alluka was five and Noelle was younger than us by two, three years?

How old was I anyway? Illumi just said happy birthday, he said nothing about how old I was. In the series, there was just a year difference between Alluka and Killua, but my assumptions could be wrong.

Speaking of birthdays, I was worried that Noelle wouldn't make it to her first birthday. She could be one year old now, but she had made no attempt at walking or anything.

At least Alluka was active around her age, despite bearing Nanika's face. She didn't bother moving, just stared at the ceiling, blinking and eating whatever we gave her.

Her body was listless and limp, her temperature was always high, she was always running a fever.

I wanted Alluka to heal her, but I was too scared. I was the only one with him, now that Killua had been taken away for some personal training meant for heirs, and if I asked Alluka to heal Noelle, what might he ask of me?

To save the life of someone, to perhaps repair their spinal cord so that they might be able to walk; how heavy the price. What would he ask next time?

I was stressed out, so badly that I contemplated throwing Noelle away or giving her back to the main family. I couldn't care anymore, what was one life to me anyway?

Those thoughts constantly flitted across my mind when I was being terribly frustrated by Noelle's disabled state, or had just came back from a particularly painful torture session and no Killua in sight, I would, um, sort of lose it. Once I came down from berserk-mode though, I would feel guilty and start brooding.

I know I was worrying Alluka but there was little I could do. I was ill-equipped to take care of an infant all by myself, and dealing with Alluka's petty wishes all the same.

Where was Killua?

I growled, frustrated when I thought about my twin. Three days, it had been three painful and long days since I'd seen him and I was pissed. This was the longest time I had gone without seeing him. Millu-nii had no idea and he didn't care, Illu-nii was all but gone.

"Ne, Nee-chan?"

I glanced down at where Alluka was tugging on my sleeve worriedly, his brows furrowed into a frown.

"What's wrong?" I asked, frowning as well.

He bit his lip. "Something's wrong with Noelle, she won't wake."

My blood ran cold. "Get a maid," I ordered, rushing towards my baby sister while Alluka scrambled out of the door, hollering for help.

I grabbed the infant's wrist, checking for a pulse, cursing all the while. "Damn it, stop giving me shit to deal with," I grumbled, relieved that there was a pulse, very weak and faint, but there.

"Here, here, hurry!" I turned to see Alluka dragging in a very, very reluctant Yukiji. I could not see what help would a mute maid do, but then again, she was an ex-assassin, she might know something.

"She's running a very high fever," I told Yukiji who was feeling Noelle's forehead. "can you bring her to the hospital?"

Yukiji nodded, cradling the baby in her arms, and, with speed borne of years of training shot out of the room. I blinked. I thought she was going to take us with her, but apparently, not. My eyebrow twitched; knowing Yukiji's air-headed personality, I figure that she'd just run all the way to the hospital. Ugh.

"Will Noelle be okay?"

I shrugged. "Dunno," I said, too tired to care anymore and my back ached. It was Wednesday, which meant heat-resistant torture. Tomorrow, I have to spend time in the freezer, for cold-resistant training and sparring lessons. I slumped onto Alluka's futon, ready to snore away but sniffles stopped me from drifting away.

I frowned down at Alluka who had started crying.

I reached out a hand to pat his long dark hair. "Hey," I called quietly. "It's okay." Alluka sniffled, crawling towards me and snuggling against me. I wrinkled my nose wryly, what a baby. "She'll be fine."

I don't think she will though.

Kalluto had no twin.

The optimistic part of me which I thought had died back in my first life, murmured: _Killua had no twin either, and yet here you are_.

I closed my eyes.

Not for long.

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I blinked, unsure if I heard right.

I stared up in disbelief at my oldest brother. Probably about three months since I last saw him and here he was, about to take me out to my first-kill.

A mission. That had been what Killua was up to all this while.

I looked down, shuffling my feet. "Why can't I go together with Killua?"

"It's too easy a mission for two assassins," Illumi responded. "no matter how new and inexperienced they are. Have you chosen your attire?"

"Is there some sort of special suit?" I asked, frowning, unaware of such customs.

Illumi shook his head. "No," he said. "you're free to wear whatever you want."

I glanced down at what I was wearing. It had been very cold recently and from the glimpses I caught of the outside world, I knew it was winter. I was wearing a thin white shirt and ripped jeans and sneakers. Wasn't very impressive, but I was used to the cold (thanks, Millu-nii).

"Let's go," I murmured.

Illumi hummed in approval, but he tossed something at me. I peeled it off my face, glancing down at the winter coat. "I can't have you freezing on me now, could I?"

I grumbled, slightly embarrassed. "I thought those nights spent in the freezer was to train me for these?"

"Despite the continuous torture, we try to avoid frostbite as much as possible."

I bit my tongue, preventing myself from retorting. If we could wear cold-resistant clothes, then what was the point of tortures? I refrained from yelling it at him, just chose to shove my hands into the front pockets and follow him.

When we crossed the threshold of our home hidden within the forest, I actually felt excited. This was the first time I would be stepping out of the mansion and I couldn't wait.

"Ne, Aniki?" He hummed, glancing briefly down at me to show that he was listening. "Who's my target?" He didn't answer, merely passed me a photo.

I glanced at the fatty. He had oily, slick black hair combed back, his face was contorted into a perpetual scowl of arrogance. He had quite the sizable tummy. I stared at it as I descended the stairs, a little ways behind Illu-nii.

By the time Illu-nii hailed a cab, I already had the man's face memorized.

"Where to?"

I grinned slightly at the man who returned my smile with a hesitant one. Clearly, he was nervous of Illu-nii who was decked out in a blue qi-pao, a dragon pattern embroidered below, his pants plain white and blue shoes. If it wasn't for his muscles, I was sure he'd looked just like a girl.

A very pretty and dangerous girl.

I coughed, eliciting a strange stare from my older brother but he continued gazing out the window once he gave the man the designated place. I tried to ignore that, along with the picture I had kept in my pocket, and concentrated on gazing at the scenery outside.

I took in everything with wide eyes. It had been far too long since I last saw the outside world and I plan to salvage every moment.

My happy joy trip was cut short when the cab came to an abrupt halt. I nearly tumbled out of my seat since I didn't put on the seat belt—not that Illu-nii had on one either, but he remained seated with all his grace—but Illu-nii steadied me, keeping a firm grip on me as he paid the fee and opened the door.

The taxi-driver eyed me worriedly.

"Hey, kid?"

"Yeah?"

"Who's that lady?"

I choked back my laughter, especially when Illu-nii's grip on me tightened, glancing from the corner of my eye where he was nearly glaring.

"Haha—"

"Ria, _out_, now." He tugged forcefully on me for emphasis and I had no choice but to slid out of the cab, waving at the taxi-driver as Illu-nii dragged me into the closest alleyway. He peeked out, his silky long hair swaying in the breeze. "We're a tad early, but never mind, this will give you more time to prepare yourself." He glanced down at me. "Are you ready?"

I inhaled sharply, suddenly, painfully reminded that I wasn't here on a field trip. I was here to kill someone. I pulled timidly on my brother's sleeve.

"Ne, Aniki?"

"Hm?"

"How old am I?"

Illu-nii blinked languidly, turning away to keep an eye out on the road. "Does it matter?" he asked distractedly.

"It does to me," I responded lamely.

"Six years, three months and a few weeks old. Do I have to count out the hours and minutes you've been walking this mortal plane as well?"

I scowled, releasing his hand. "You don't have to be sarcastic."

"I was not aware, I apologize."

I didn't respond, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I couldn't read this guy, I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or he was being sincere. I suppose this was what made him such an accomplished assassin, the ability to stow away every emotion.

Abruptly, Illu-nii gripped my shoulders and pulled me out of the alleyway. I glanced up at the sky briefly, wincing at the bright sunlight and my stomach churned. I was going in for a kill in broad daylight, someone was bound to see me.

What if I was targeted? What if Illu-nii ditched me and expected me to make it out of here myself? I swallowed the painful lump in my throat, tempted to just stand there all day and argue with my brother.

Was there a way out of this family trade?

"He's here," Illu-nii announced unnecessarily, pointing into the direction of a sleek black Mercedes. "Trail after him. Don't leave any survivors now. And remember, do not show any sympathy." He gave me a gentle shove.

I stiffened when he didn't follow, turning back. I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out was a few nonsensical sounds.

"I'll be here," Illu-nii said, instantly soothing half of my fears as he nodded towards the hotel where the man and his wife and his son were going into. He had a few butlers and half a dozen bodyguards.

I hesitated, darting across the street, pulling up the hood to hide my face. When I reached the other side, I turned again, to make sure Illu-nii was still there but an obnoxiously loud truck blocked my view of him.

Hesitating more, I ran towards the hotel, diving in the doors when another couple entered, accidentally bumping into the woman who cried out.

"Hey!"

She was ignored as I skidded down the hallway, turning to where I saw the tailcoat of a butler. I was wheezing the moment I came to a stop before the elevators, not out of breath, but because of the adrenaline rushing in my veins.

I glanced down, noticing how shaky my hands were. I was trembling, from both fear and anticipation.

This was going against every moral drilled into my head in my past life, killing was a crime but—the cowardly girl from my memories wasn't me anymore -_I hope because she could never survive in this world_- and I was determined to make the people I have now accept me.

The past me was someone who wouldn't dirty her hands with anything, yes, she was similar to me—she _was_ me—and, I knew as well as she did, that, more than one, she had contemplated murder of the people around her but she was too terrified and unsure to take out the person she hated (and, more than once, she had been intrigued by the prospect of killing).

I was different. The right side of the law in this world was different, killing was a profession and no one could arrest us for doing our jobs.

I could get away from killing easily, I knew this but that didn't mean that old habits will die so easily, there was always that niggling feeling of _what if i got caught_—

My palms were sweaty as my eyes remained fixated on the changing numbers. My nails sharpened; if I could cut the cables, I could kill all of them without being suspected. I glanced at the numbers, then at the advertisement board the hotel had posted out.

My target was a filthy rich man, he'd probably in the special suites which started at the thirtieth floor and the elevator was now at the tenth. I threw open the emergency stairs' door and scrambled up the stairs, my assassin training kicking in.

The landscape was a blur of grey and signs. By the time I pulled myself up the thirtieth floor, I was already wheezing, out of breath as I rushed out of the door and towards the elevator.

I grunted as I slid my nails in the small gap between the elevator doors, and started pulling.

The elevator doors creaked open with a reluctant groan. I knew my strength far surpassed men twice my size, this was because of the enhancing drugs I took since birth. I pulled, and kicked until the gap was large enough for my small body to slid through.

For good measure, I kicked the doors even harder open, uncaring of the dent I made.

I needed the hole to be large enough for me to jump through once I severed the cables. I glanced down, seeing the rising box. My heart momentarily flared in panic, before I jumped, my heart nearly leaping out of my throat as I clung onto the cables.

I steadied myself against the metal walls, my nails making quick work of the thick cables. It was slightly harder than I thought, but it was to be expected, my nails weren't as durable or sharp as Illu-nii.

Panic was a feeling I wasn't able to shove away completely. I sawed messily at the cables, my common sense which was still working amidst the panic telling me that if I sawed away messily, it'd look like a rat's work of art and murder would be out of the question when police investigated.

I squeezed my eyes shut as the box dropped down, the grinding sound nearly deafening me. Blindly, I hurled myself out of the place, diving into the inviting hotel hallway.

I laid on my back, breathing harshly. My rest was cut short when I heard footsteps approaching me. The elevator gave a very annoying _ding!_ and I knew I was screwed if anyone comes out. I sprang to my feet, throwing the emergency door open and all but jumped down the stairs.

I hoped no one saw me.

I ran down the stairs, feeling a wave of deja vu. I took the steps by two and jumped when there was four steps from the landing.

I didn't know how long it took for me to reach the ground floor, but the moment I exited, I was careful to apply silence. I saw many people gathered before the elevators, many gasping in horror and murmuring to themselves.

I kept a wary lookout as I darted about, finally exiting the grand hotel (I don't think I want to see another one as long as I lived, ugh). I blinked, my head whipping about—shit, where was Illu-nii, which alleyway was it?

Shakily, I stumbled across the street, nearly tripping over my own feet as I crossed the road. I regulated my breathing, trying to calm myself. I didn't want my older brother to se me in such a wreck, once I could get my breathing to even out, I slowly made my way around the streets, the place actually seeming familiar now that I wasn't panicking like crazy.

Illu-nii didn't leave me, he was leaning against the concrete wall, eyes closed but still looking very much dangerous and on guard; I think his Nen aura was the one chasing away pickpockets and perverts.

Trembling, I tackled him into a hug, half-expecting him to push me away a second after but he didn't move. Then, slowly, I felt his muscles uncoil as his arms came around my small shoulders.

He sighed softly. "You're just like Kil, coming for a hug right after," I glanced up at him, trembling and I was sure I was starting to tear up. No matter how much I hardened my heart, my past life's teachings...

"You did well," Illu-nii murmured, stroking my hair. "for a first-timer."

I half-laughed, half-sobbed. "Way to pop my bubble, nii-san." I clutched onto his arms tightly.

This was the man I want to do proud, this brother of mine was the reason why I would kill. His acknowledgement and praise was what I wanted. I blushed slightly when I realized that my brother complex was seriously deep.

I hoped he didn't notice.

"Ria," he whispered. "play along."_ Someone's watching us._

I stiffened, before nodding almost imperceptibly. "Who're they?" I whispered back.

"Nen-users," Illu-nii muttered, his grip on me tightening momentarily.

I thrust my hands up, wrapping them around his neck. "I'll keep a lookout," I promised in a low voice. From the corner of my eyes, I saw black-suited men approaching us. Then, deliberately, very loudly, I laughed and grinned. "Carry me, Aniki!"

Illu-nii swept me into his arms and stepped out of the alleyway, his steps deliberately loud and careless so that he wouldn't be suspected as an assassin. His breath fanned against my neck. "How many?"

"Five or so," I murmured back, blinking and trying to look like an innocent kid out with her older brother. "Who's the fat guy?"

"He's a huge supplier of the Hunters," Illu-nii muttered. "My mistake," he said coolly. "I should've chose another mission for your first kill. We might be facing huge trouble here."

"Will we be calling for backup?" I inquired, shrinking when the men approached.

"Perhaps," Illu-nii replied vaguely. I frowned but not a moment too soon, hissed in discomfort, squirming when I felt something piercing my skull, ticking my sensitive skin.

"Wha—"

"Safety precautions, little sister," Illu-nii assured me, stroking my hair as his steps increased in pace, making an abrupt turn into a crowded street; I concluded that he wanted to throw off our attacker but I don't think it'd work with Illu-nii's eccentric taste of clothing. "Run when I say so. When a fight breaks out, don't get involved unless you're sure you could win against one of them."

"They're coming," I hissed, my grip on my brother tightening.

Illu-nii stopped, dumping me into an alleyway and turning swiftly, just as the black-suited men approached, surrounding my older brother.

I gulped, my instincts -_all man for himself, own safety comes first_- making me duck behind a trash can which hid me completely. Even though it stank, I was used to it (don't ask). I peered out at where Illu-nii was speaking to the men, seeming to be in a civilized conversation.

Hopefully, he could worm his way out of trouble...

I turned my head to stare at the newcomer when I heard footsteps. Silver hair adorned the lanky man's hair and his blue eyes twinkled dangerously. His most distinct trait was the ugly scar on his left cheek. His easy grin slid off his face when he saw my brother, and I didn't miss Illu-nii stiffening.

Those two had a history, I knew it on first glance. My muscles tensed.

"Do you know her, boss?"

I glared at the men, feeling extremely offended and protective of my oldest brother. What's with this sex-deprived men and their eyes? Could they not see my brother was a man through and through? I felt like punching them all on behalf of Illu-nii. Ugh.

"That's no chick, yo!" The silver-haired man yelled, drawing his nightstick, the weapon crackled with electricity. His body glowed, giving off wisps of smokey tendrils; I knew it was Nen on first glance.

I nearly whimpered at how hopelessly outnumbered my brother was.

"Illumi Zoldyck," the silver-haired man hissed venomously. "I'll pay you back for the scar on my face." And he lunged, his men joining the fray.

Illu-nii didn't even blink, merely cracked his neck challengingly, and the fight was on.

I watched on in admiration as my brother wiped the floor with the men, ignoring the screaming innocent citizens. I saw smokey tendrils emanating from every participant in the battle and I knew they were using Nen regardless of the citizens.

Despicable, I thought but I couldn't complain.

I was so absorbed by the battle I didn't see the man flying right in my direction.

I yelped unintentionally when the large man knocked me off my feet. I grimaced when I saw the squashed trashcan under the man's body.

"What's a little kid—" The man's eyes lit up cruelly. "A budding assassin in our midst, no, Illumi? As far as I was concerned, you don't bother with brats out of your immediate family, is she, like, you little sister?"

I wanted to run, like my brother told me to, but I couldn't move.

Something suffocated me, pressing me down, cutting off my will—a Manipulator, this man was a Manipulator. He was preventing me from moving.

"Ria," Aniki called and the pressure lessened; I wondered if he was fighting the man's control over my body. "Move."

I sprang to my feet, eyes wide and wild. I barely realized my nails had sharpened in response to the danger presented before me. I stumbled when Illu-nii's control over my body disappeared—the bald asshole hit him; Aniki's body convulsed.

I seethed, seeing red. Illu-nii was hit by a taser, the electric currents flowed through his body. He trembled and his movements were stiff but I knew he was in pain.

I have to do something.

But what? I was hopelessly outclassed. I could barely use Nen, I only know how to form a protective aura around myself. Times like these, I wish I had Maya's ability to kill by writing with her own blood, or maybe Zero's ability to change into an animal and surprise the enemy.

What was my Specialist ability again?

Some sort of cloud forming over the glass of water, something which exploded. How do I use such crap?

The silver haired man grinned as he approached Illu-nii who seemed to be struggling with the increasing number of opponents—all of them were proficient Nen users and my brother was but one man.

Wasn't he one of the strongest character in the series? Why wasn't he kicking their asses now?

_Because, genius, this was before the series started_, my common sense remarked cruelly. _Illu-nii might not be as strong yet._

My fault. If I hadn't been there to distract him...

I have to do something.

-_but what? there's nothing you can do, run, don't fight an opponent you know you can't beat_-

The silver-haired man reached out to wrench Aniki's long black hair, harshly, painfully, his hand glowing with Nen poised at my brother's face and—

I-

-saw-

-_b **l** o _o** d**-

.

.

.

.

_Get away from him!_

_Don't... touch my brother!_

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I jerked awake, eyes wide and my heart fluttering with panic and fear.

"_Aniki!_"

Someone snatched my hands into a firm grip. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my vision and mind. Once I was in the right mind, I saw Killua peering down at me, concerned. My eyes trailed to his side where Millu-nii had stopped typing away on his laptop and to the edge of the bed where Mother was carrying a baby Kalluto.

"Where's..." I glanced around. "Illu-nii?"

"He's in the torture room with papa," Millu-nii said, exhaling in relief as he reopened his laptop and typed in a few words. I blinked, letting out a very intelligent 'huh?' which prompted an impatient noise from him. "He's torturing himself over letting you get hurt on his behalf."

I raised a hand to my forehead, blinking rapidly in thought.

"Huh? Really? I don't remember fighting anyone," I slurred, suddenly dizzy and my throat was sore. It was painful but I had been starved and thirsted before as part of my resistance training so I didn't complain.

Nevertheless, Killua picked up on my discomfort and passed me a glass of water.

"What happened?" I asked once I gulped down the glass.

"You've been in coma for one week," Mother explained and I was puzzled to hear a note of relief in her voice. Unexpectedly, she reached out to smooth the bumps in my hair. I stiffened under her touch and hoped she didn't notice. "You overused your Nen, doll."

"I don't—" I stopped. Yes, I felt some sort of energy discharging from me when I recalled the silver-haired man wrenching brother's head back, about to kill him or mutilate him. "Uh, what happened to them?"

"Dead," Killua replied, fists clenched. "Serves them right, you killed them good, sis!"

I blinked. "I don't think... oh, they exploded?" I glanced at Mother for confirmation but she had her lips pursed, shaking her head, jostling Kalluto slightly who whined in protest and blinked.

Kalluto's red eyes sought out mine, giggling he reached out towards me. I leaned back and against my wishes, Killua took the baby and pushed him into my grasp. I glared but Mother's voice demanded my attention.

"Doll," she called, using the annoying nickname she had for me. "remember when we first tried out your Nen?"

I nodded. "The glass exploded, I got soaked, I know." And the rest were history that eventually led up to Kalluto and Noelle's birth. Hope Mother wouldn't bring that issue up.

"No," I blinked at Mother's grim response. "When you left, I saw the glass with the razor blade in it, on the table, in the same position, not a single speck out of place. It's as if you had never touched it and the clothes you left? It wasn't soaked."

Huh? It felt so real, the water seeping into my skin and the shock of seeing the glass explode.

"So the men didn't explode?"

"Do you know their cause of death?" I shook my head at Millu-nii's inquiry. He arched a brow. "Voodoo death, also known as psychogenic death or psychosomatic death, is the phenomenon of sudden death as brought about by a strong emotional shock, such as fear. The anomaly is recognized as "psychosomatic" in that death is caused by an emotional response—often fear—to some suggested outside force. Also—"

"Look, speaking Wikipedia, why can't you just tell Ria that those men died of shock and fear? That the pressure was too great for them, to cut a long story short?" Killua rolled his eyes, scoffing.

I agreed with my twin but from how Millu-nii's face was turning as red as blood, I decided to keep my mouth shut. I cherished our friendly relationship and the special privileges I got from it, and I didn't want to ruin it.

"So... my Nen caused it. What is my ability actually?"

Mother glanced at Millu-nii. "Well?"

Millu-nii shrugged. "It might have something to do with psychological torturing." At the blank stares he got, Millu-nii made a disgusted sound, elaborating. "Ria's Nen might be able to create illusions so horrifying, those men's brains melted like mush."

Killua's eyes lit up.

"That's awesome! I wish I had such ability too," he sighed wistfully, a playful grin still on his lips. He blinked. "Oh, hey, Ria's awake now, I think Illu-nii can stop his self-inflicted punishment now."

"I want to see him," I agreed.

Mother rose. "I'll go get my oldest son," she sighed, shaking her head, mumbling to herself and looking seriously stressed out. She couldn't be that worried about me could she?

"She hasn't left your side ever since you came in," Killua said, as if he could read my mind. He's my twin, I don't think I could expect anything less. "Millu-nii and I all but moved in."

"Where's Alluka?"

Millu-nii's face darkened. "The week you've been out, Alluka... he displayed something horrifying."

My heart leaped into my throat when I saw Killua's guilt-ridden face. "What happened?" I croaked, feeling like passing out all over again.

"I'm not sure about the details, but a maid wished on Alluka—he's a Specialist like you, by the way—and she became filthy rich when billions of dollars fell on her. Okay, that was a little odd but we experimented with his abilities. Alluka demanded the impossible, kidney, lungs, livers," Millu-nii shuddered, a grimace on his lips as he listed the requests.

"The requested couldn't fulfill his wish, right?"

Killua nodded.

"Yeah," he said, voice soft and subdued. "She died, right before our eyes. Her lover died too, and many other maids died. The people she spent the most time with, the people who died were her friends and family."

"Did any of the Zoldycks—"

"No, fortunately," Millu-nii grumbled. "she's a maid of the Branch House. Nothing to do with us."

"Oh... Yukiji—" _Where's Noelle?_

"The MIA maid," Millu-nii supplied dryly. "She resigned as a maid, and chose to work in an orphanage, for whatever goddamned reason."

Killua coughed. "Pig's very disappointed." He waggled his eyebrows down at me, a playful grin on his lips. "I snuck into his room to get your favorite teddy bear which you left there. I stumbled upon his diary and—"

"Shut up, Rat!" I chuckled at Millu-nii's red face.

My smile dropped when I sensed Illu-nii's approaching Nen, still a little ways. "I hear Aniki coming, can we prank him?"

We shared a glance; an unspoken agreement as Killua tackled me, slid the blanket up. "Close your eyes," he hissed, giggling. "pretend you're dead, you know how, right? From all those undercover training."

I giggled, biting the inside of my cheek as I suppressed my Nen and tried to play dead. I had learned that I didn't need to put much effort into it; I had the inability to have too red cheeks, and I can hold my breath and prevent my chest from rising. Sure, Illu-nii would be able to tell.

Usually anyways. Millu-nii said he'd been training non-stop for a week, hopefully, he'd be too dazed to notice.

"I hear him!" Killua hissed, rubbing his eyes furiously to redden them and make it seem as if he was crying. He placed baby Kalluto on the seat, the hard surface jostling the infant and making him bawl. "Hurry up, Pig! Get the machines crazy!"

Millu-nii sprang to his feet, his face contorted in horror as the machines went crazy, proclaiming me dead. I froze the muscles in my cheek, even though I was dying of laughter even as Killua threw himself over me and bawled. Kalluto's cries only heightened the exhilaration I felt.

Killua sobbed as Mother burst in. "M-mom! R-Ria, she's not breathing anymore," he choked out through sobs and had I not known any better, I would've thought the anguish in his voice was real.

"What?!" I almost felt bad when I heard the hysterical tinge in Mother's voice, and when she broke into sobs the moment later.

Almost.

I could sense more Nen-users bursting in, identifying them as Maha, Zeno and Father. Shit, I don't think any of them would be fooled. Unless they chose to indulge us—which was unlikely.

"It's all my fault," Killua sobbed, continuing the fib before any of our forefathers could say anything. "I- I wanted to see how she took out those guys and I told her to do it 'gain—"

Abruptly, Killua was wrenched away from me.

I barely stopped myself from stiffening when I felt Illu-nii's hands around my shoulders. He didn't do anything and I didn't do anything either, going limp in his tightening grip.

Ow_ow_ow**ow**—the hell he was doing to me?

Then, abruptly, I heard Killua burst out in laughter. Millu-nii joining a moment sooner. I cracked an eye open, wincing when I saw how furious Illu-nii looked as he dropped me.

I hissed, shifting and pushing myself into a sitting position, finding myself greeted to everyone's deadpanned stare (some, like Mother and Illu-nii were trembling with suppressed relief and rage). I ignored them but I caught Maha winking at me, mirth shining in his eyes.

I grinned at my brothers, flashing them a peace sign for a job well-done which Killua returned, tackling me into a hug.

Illu-nii and Mother were far from amused.

"It's hi-la-ri-ous!" Millu-nii roared with laughter, clutching his belly. "You should've seen Illu-nii's face, Ria," he wheezed. "he looked as if someone just stabbed him in the eye!" He held up his cellphone. "I caught it, I'll show it to you later."

Maha let out an amused chuckle. "Good nothing happened, eh?"

Zeno rolled his eyes, stalking out of the room and grumbling. Father hovered over us, merely watching as Mother started screeching at us.

Even though the velocity of the pain resistance training skyrocketed, knowing that Illu-nii cared made the pain worthwhile.

But one question nagged at me: Where was Alluka?

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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**REQUEST:** I'm worried that the characters are OOC—but I'm not a good judge myself. Are they OOC, please tell me so I can take note and correct them.

**QUESTION:** Do you wish to see this story follow the series all the way to the end (which has yet to come)?

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

**R**_E_**V**I**E**_W_**!**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

**Summary:** AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure/Mystery/Su spense.

**Pairing(s):** Depends of the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria and whatever OCs that had/and might show up in the future; Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Deaths. Violence. Time-skip.

**Author's Note: **Was listening to Katy Perry's 'The One That Got Away' so I recommend you to listen to it as you read this. It was a suitable theme song for this story concerning Kill and Ria in my opinion. This chap is particularly short just to increase the suspense.

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**Arc I — Introduction**

**Chapter V — Heavens Arena X Fights X Betrayal **

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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I strained my neck gazing up at the skyscraper.

The fourth tallest building in the world, found in our country, in the Republic State of Padokia. Killua's hand in mine, tight and sweaty from exhilaration prevented me from gaping any longer as he tugged me in, trailing after our father and oldest brother.

Illu-nii went straight up to the 200th floor, having already earned his rights.

I wondered how often he came to this place. I shuffled, craning my neck to see everyone; I think we're the only six-year-olds here.

My grasp tightened in Killua's hand, careful to not lose him or Father.

The receptionist glanced up sharply, an empty smile on her face. She had astonishingly pink hair, and she wore a black shirt under a pink vest uniform with the Heaven's Arena logo which was an emblem of a closed fist, the hat atop her hat was the same design.

"Are you participating, sir?" she pushed a form towards our Father. "Please fill in this form—"

"No," Silva explained patiently, gesturing to us crowded beside him. The lady had to bow over the counter to see us, her eyes were wide with disbelief, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance. "These two are the ones participating."

"Sir, it's not funny—"

"I'm not joking," Our father said, his lips thinning with impatience. "There are no age limits, no?"

The woman pursed her lips in displeasure, nice enough to dislike the idea of kids joining the fight with barbarians. I wonder how she'd survive living with the Zoldycks. Probably die in a day or something.

She glanced down at us in concern, before, very reluctantly, handed over forms, voice shaky as she called for the next registrant.

Father handed me a pen. I stared blankly at it before taking it, scribbling messily—name, age, date of birth, address etc.—before handing the pen to Killua, who took my paper as well and started copying.

The lazy-bum just changed the name, the rest were the same. I rolled my eyes, shoving my hands into my black hoodie, inspecting the place with a critical eye.

I turned back to the receptionist just in time to see her eyes widening when she saw our names. I thought I heard her mutter, "Zoldyck kids, figures, probably'd win the whole thing."

"So we're famous here?" Killua asked, taking the words right out of my mouth.

Father made a noise of agreement. "I've been here when I was ten, took me eight months to reach the 200th floor. Head in there, queue up, fight, win and get lost."

"How many battles a day, Father?" This was also spoken by Killua; I was very reluctant to speak to my father and even when we're in the presence of one another, we had the silent agreement to just breeze past one another unless the one needed something from the other.

"Until eleven, I presume, if this place still runs the same way as it did when I was here. Go," Father pushed the both of us towards where many of the big men were crowding into.

Killua tugged me forward, excitement and curiosity burning in his eyes. I glanced back at where our Father once stood. I blinked, surprised to find him gone.

I rarely ever spend time with him so I don't know his mannerism well (if at all), but he was a skilled assassin, I shouldn't be so surprised. Shrugging, I relented and allowed Killua to drag me away.

From the series, I knew Killua had taken two years to reach the 200th floor.

I swallowed, slightly nervous. This would be a long two years...

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* * *

I blinked, surprised by the small tug I felt, I glanced down to see who had been tugging insistently on my kimono.

I was in a hurry and in no time to play funny games the workers here tend to do. I was on the 189th floor now, far closed than ever to the 200th floor, and I didn't want to be disqualified due to lateness.

That would be a tragedy and a waste of my two years here.

My time in the Heavens Arena hadn't been all fun and games. Father made it clear he wanted us to learn useful skills from this. In between the battles and time spent there, we had missions and the resistant training wasn't discarded. We had to make multiple trips back home and then come back here.

Father and Illu-nii usually accompanied us but by the 7th floor, both stopped coming to check up on us, which was the start of our downfall caused by our own carelessness.

There were times where we were late and got disqualified for it. It couldn't be helped, we still had missions and training sessions back home after all. But the Arena tolerated no reasoning—the first time this happened, at the 31st floor, I barely stopped Killua from killing the referee.

If he did, I was pretty sure we'd be banned from entering the Arena forever.

We had to start all over and Father berated us.

The first time, it took us months to reach the 31st floor because we had a busy schedule and could only manage about three battles a day.

In time, I understood what Father wanted us to learn here: _patienc_e (there were condescending referees and workers that practically begged to be beaten), _punctuality_ (a lesson learned the hard and frustrating way), _control_ (killing someone below the 200th floor was illegal and the culprit will be disqualified) and to ditch the bad habit of _underestimating_ an opponent (another reason why Killua and I lost some of the battles, our opponent sometimes looked like a baby and we didn't take them seriously).

That wasn't all that I'd learned.

Sometimes, late at night where competitors were resting, after the 100th floor where we were allowed to stay in private rooms, we would sneak out.

Killua was curious about the 200th floor, since it was every battlers' goal to reach the floor and we always tried to find a way up without getting caught.

(We got caught every single time because every employee on that floor were Nen-users and many could sense our uncompressed Nen.)

I met Wing though.

He was a Nen-instructor, someone I met when I snuck out alone because Killua was at home (we had different training regimes). The man was intrigued by me because he rarely ever see a Specialist gracing the Arena, he said that Specialists tend to die sooner or were trouble-magnets, and was honestly surprised that I wasn't starting my own battle royale on my floor.

I was insulted; was I that destructive?

He taught me how to control my Nen, just the basics though, since Specialists must develop their own unique ability by themselves, abilities that only they have and shared by no other.

My control over my own ability was still sucky though I tried hard to improve it. Unintentionally, I would cast illusions, especially when I was upset over a loss, and had killed more than one referee and opponents.

I had no idea what they saw because I didn't even control the illusion, I just sort of, imagined the worst torture I could come up with. As I had a torture-expertise as my older brother, I knew a lot about tortures and he was always applying it into our training.

In a nutshell, my Nen had its own will—to me anyway, it rarely ever obey me, it does its own thing; whenever I wanted to cast an illusion, in a losing battle, nothing happened and when I tried to suppress it, it always surfaced.

Talk about annoying.

So, when I felt the tugs, I tried to stem down the irritation (I, unfortunately, was not the most patient person in the world, a trait that all Zoldycks had) lest something bad happened.

I blinked when I saw the familiar face. "Kalluto?"

The small boy of four smiled up at me shyly; we interacted, we liked one another and were quite friendly towards one another though we had miles of distance between us. We weren't all that close and the age gap made him shy around me, I think.

(If this was what a four year gap did, I couldn't imagine how Kalluto and Illumi would interact with the age gap of twelve years.)

"What are you doing here? Are _you_ lost?"

"I'm here to see you and Onii-sama," Kalluto replied quietly. He had always been like that as far as I was concerned, quiet and pliant, quite different from Noelle.

Ugh, Noelle and Yukiji.

When I told Yukiji to take Noelle to the hospital, did I expect her to raise Noelle all by herself? No, but that's what she did anyway. Personally, I think Yukiji was doing so to avoid her own family.

(I wonder what issues she had with us.)

"I see, well, I really got to go now, can you find a way back yourself or do you need me to bring you back...?" Even though I was reluctant of the latter option.

Kalluto shook his head. "I can go back to Mother myself," he smiled softly, a soft blush on his cheeks—cute, I thought. "Good luck, and tell Killu-nii I said the same to him." He waved, a gesture I returned before turning and running down the hallway to there I heard the announcer calling my name and counting down.

* * *

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* * *

Like all siblings in the world, Killua and I argued.

Today's argument was particularly vicious.

"Why, brother _dear_," My voice dripped with venomous sarcasm. "did you drop out?"

"Why do _you_ care?" His voice was as cold as ice glaciers. "It doesn't affect you, no?"

I was a rather ambitious person, I hated leaving loose ends, and to do something halfheartedly. Either I never started it, or I see it to the end.

My twin, however, was quite different, he couldn't care either way and I was quite irked at his nonchalant ways. It was understandable, we weren't real twins, I was just someone who took the twin's face.

In the anime, there was no mention of Killua's twin, he didn't show remorse or mention anyone. It pretty much meant that the twin died in the mother's womb, but somehow, I took its place and here I was, arguing with her hardheaded brother.

I had finally achieved the 190th floor, Killua did it before me and here he was, bailing out on me. I was too prideful to tell him, that, without him as an encouragement, a milestone to cross, every victory would be pointless and every loss would be too bitter with no one to share it with.

I wanted him to be with me all the way. He was disappointing me.

Times like these (oh, this wasn't the first time we argued), I wished he had the ability to read my mind like he usually could. But when we argued, he always seem to lose this ability and start butting heads with me.

I was annoyed, irritated and mad.

"What's so nice about this stupid fights? It's a waste of time," Killua muttered, his hands in his pockets but I knew he was clenching his fists and flexing his fingers to calm himself. "I'm sure I can come back here as an old man and continue kicking ass."

That hit the spot.

I was hurt.

Killua knew better than to bring up the matter of life-and-death, old age or anything concerning the far future, beyond the age of twelve or so.

Sure, he had nothing to worry about, but what about _me_?

"Yeah," I spat, swallowing the lump in my throat. "_you_ would have all the time as an old man. Has it occurred to you that _I_ don't?"

Has it ever crossed your mind that we would most likely be separated in a span of few years?

Has it ever occurred to you that, in a while, very soon possibly, that you'd be doing everything alone?

Has it ever entered your brain that I won't be standing before you any longer?

Has it ever been considered by you about my feelings?

"Brother, have you ever think about how hard it was for me to live with the fear of dying? The imminent preordained death? The betrayal I would face **w**h**e**n _you_ _kill_ _me_?"

Killua stared at me, stunned.

I didn't realize I had shouted out loud. When we argued, it was usually about something petty. We had the mutual agreement that we were to not bring up about our twin problem and the battle that would occur someday. We were threading on thin ice every time we introduced ourselves as twins, we never brought this topic up.

He was speechless, I was stumped too, as to how we should continue. We never spoke about this, we had never been in a situation such as this before.

Being the more mature one (I like to think so), I pulled back, especially because almost our whole family was staring at us. Father was staring impassively, Zeno graced me with a disdainful stare (he never liked me), Mother smiled at Killua (I was ignored) and Kalluto was staring, stunned, at us (at me particularly, I was usually very quiet and never yelled).

Alluka was still locked up (I managed to snatch a few chances to visit but often, I find myself missing his quiet wisdom). Millu-nii never strayed out of the house, Maha was too lazy and Illu-nii was who-knows-where and doing who-knows-what.

I hated how they stared at me.

As if I should be the one at fault.

Disgusted, I stormed back to my suite. Tried to anyway, Kalluto grabbed onto the ends of my sleeve, whining softly. "Where're you going?" he cried. "We're going to celebrate!"

"No," I spat, voice cold and rigid. "I _had_ it. I'm staying here and fighting my way to the top."

"Doll," Mother called after me. "Won't you take one last photo with us?" Her voice gave no room for argument as she grabbed me and pulled me back to where everyone was gathered.

I seethed, glaring at the cameraman which happened to be our butler, Canary. She smiled hesitantly at us, gesturing for us to get ready.

I was too mad to realize how Mother had phrased her request.

Too angry to consider the situation and how everyone was writing me off.

Had I known that the day was the last time I'd be seeing Killua as family, perhaps I would've offered a smile for him to remember me by.

The photo was taken. I was standing by myself, Kalluto's small hand grasping mine in lieu of Mother who had her arms around Father and Killua, smiling brightly.

Bitter jealousy swelled and I freed myself of Kalluto's grasp, turning and running.

.

.

.

_Did I mention how much I hated them at times?_

.

.

.

_I hate them. Right now, the burning hate was too much for me to act rationally._

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By the time I reached my room, had slammed it shut, I was breathing harshly, my blood-lust was skyrocketing.

I glared at the mirror, slightly repulsed by the slitted and narrowed red-brown eyes glaring back. My reflection looked completely deranged, my teeth had sharpened (another effect of the drugs) and I was completely red with anger. My nails had sharpened into claws.

I better sleep this off, lest I started slaughtering left and right.

I tried breathing exercises Maha taught me and even started counting sheep in my mind, it did little to help my mood.

The doorbell rang.

I snarled, ripping the door open, expecting to see one of my family members. I was greeted to a terrified, trembling maid. She was nothing special, dark hair and eyes, the only thing notable was that she was my unfortunate victim to vent my anger.

She reared back, screaming as her eyes dilated even further before rolling back into her eyes; still screaming in her dream. Her mind will melt, unable to withstand the assault of the mind and I calmed slightly, relishing in the fact that there was someone out there who's life would be cut short.

As my own would be someday.

My bad mood returned. Upset, I walked back into my room and slammed it shut, too distracted to see my _beloved_ (note the sarcasm) grandfather in the corner of the hallway.

Seething, I ripped the kimono off my body, grabbing my towel and storming into the bath.

I was ready to sleep off today's bad luck.

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* * *

I blinked, still drowsy.

Why was I awake?

I glanced to the doorway where light spilled in. Someone had opened the door, without my advance knowing. I tensed, only a very skilled assassin from the Zoldyck family would be able to do such a thing and for me to be able to sleep off contentedly, it was someone close to me.

Someone who's Nen I was so accustomed to, I wasn't worried in their presence. Would've ignored their presence even, but this time, I couldn't.

My heartbeat went crazy, the blood rushing in my ear so loud and I could barely register anything else.

I stared at the assassin that had stepped into my room uninvited.

What was _he_ doing here?

I frowned, suspicious and wariness warring with how much I've been missing to see him after so long.

"Illu-nii?"

My eldest brother was a very, very skilled assassin.

Speed was one of his strongest points.

So, why (_why_) was it so much of a surprise, that, when I turned, a pin was heading straight for my throat?

I couldn't even scream before I fell back against the white sheets, the pillows (_one of them was Killua's, we had a pillow-fight just the day before_) cushioning my fall.

Numbness swallowed my body, my mouth opened in horror, my face contorting into one of shock, despair, hurt and rage.

What's happening?

Is this a dream?

It's getting harder to keep my eyes open.

Why?

(_why_)

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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**QUESTION:** Guess why Illumi did as he did.


	6. Chapter 6

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

**Summary:** AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure/Suspense.

**Pairing(s):** Depends of the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria and whatever OCs that had/and might show up in the future; Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Violence. Time-skip.

**Author's Note: **I find this chapter too lackluster for my taste, I'm still finding ways to revise it so opinions and suggestions matter a great deal.

I rewrote this chapter twice, damn. BTW, this is the last chapter for the first Arc.

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**Arc I — Introduction**

**Chapter VI — Separation X Noelle X Message**

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He killed me.

My brother (_blood brother_) actually tried to kill me.

Illu-nii had just stabbed me in the back.

I slumped back against the pillows, shocked, terrified, angered. I wanted to scream at him, demand why but I couldn't move. Terror seized me; this was the first time my older brother had did such a thing.

I _thought_ he would never hurt me.

(Not intentionally anyway, but this, flicking a pin at my throat was definitely intentional. He couldn't possible say, "Oops, sorry, wrong room, sis.")

Clearly, I was right. I _thought_ he wouldn't hurt me, it was just my own assumptions because he clearly could. I didn't dare move, just stared with wide eyes.

Unwillingly, tears pooled in my eyes. I probably would've cried in despair, but my rage and hatred far surpassed any other emotions. Betrayal pooled in my stomach, stabbing my heart.

I know that these emotions would surface when Killua kills me, I had expected as much but what I felt now was nothing compared to my imagination.

The burn in my chest—_hate_hurt_rage_**kill**—was killing me. I knew that if I had died by Killua's hand, I probably could've fooled myself or convince myself to forgive him and that my death was for the greater good.

But this was Illumi, what would he get out of killing me?

I tried to calm myself, lest **Phantasmagoria**'s effect fade. Stiff with anger and grief, I watched with wide eyes as my murderer moved about, drawing a pen and scribbling onto the paper before stuffing it in my limp hand. I did not blink even as I felt Illumi's eyes on me.

My heart skipped a beat.

Did... did he see through my illusion?

It was far from perfect. To craft a perfect illusion, I needed a lot of time, patience and creativeness. Something which I do not have the moment I sensed Illumi's presence in my room. It was him, the Nen of his, I was sure.

I had prepared myself for a fight, thinking it was just going to be another surprise-mock-attack to test my awareness.

I had considered using Phantasmagoria, I just did not expect for it to be of use to fake my death.

Illumi's pin missed, by just a hair's length. Blood seeped down my cheek where the pin had sliced through. The wound was clean, a straight line, the wound on my cheek decoyed as a slit to the neck.

I trembled slightly when Illumi traced my cheek (or, to him, my neck), most likely checking for a 'pulse'. Then, murmuring something under his breath, he pulled back and left.

That's it.

No tears, no last words, nothing to say why he did as he did. Why did he wanted to kill me?

I may have fooled him this once, but if I returned home, he would know I survived and who was to stop him if he tried something funny?

My stomach flipped-flopped when I realized I could not go home. Still stunned, I was about to drift off to sleep when I realize that they would probably come for the corpse.

I stilled. What do I do?

I sat up, still numb with the whirlwind of emotions as I stepped out of the door. I glanced down to where the maid was. Her eyes were wide, her face contorted in pain and fear, her mouth parted slightly.

The perfect corpse.

I had learned how to fake my own death from those training sessions with Maha. He particularly enjoyed playing dead and knew how to make a corpse similar to oneself to fool the opponent, or foil anyone's attempt at assassinating you. When we first started these bonding sessions, I thought it was stupid but decided to indulge the old man who already had a foot in the grave.

He was going to die anyway, why not let him pass on with good memories of me so that he won't haunt me once he's dead?

Trembling, I set to work. I was not as proficient as Maha or Illumi (who had also learned from the former) but at least, it'd fool the eye.

I wonder if Maha would recognize my handiwork.

My stomach churned. But this was just a decoy, I assured myself. I would leave as soon as possible, and by the time they realized this was a fake, I would be far, far away from here.

But where?

Terrified out of my wits, fearing for my own life, my hands were shaking so badly I had to retry and retry. Only when a sliver of sunlight filtered in through the window did I finish my job.

I took a step back, swallowing the bile rising in my throat. The girl on the bed, bleeding from a clean wound could've been me.

Instinctively, my hands flew to my heart.

_Ba-thump. Ba-thump..._

I'm still breathing. She's not. We're different and I'm leaving here, I'm going out alive.

I glanced at the wardrobe, realizing that my attire was inappropriate but I didn't want to waste anymore time here where people could easily find me.

Blinking back the tears of fear, confusion and anger, I turned and fled, regardless of how strange and poor I looked in a plain tunic and white pants.

Even as I left the room, I couldn't erase the image of the dead girl (_with my face_) on the bed.

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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My footsteps were rushed and brisk as I made my way cautiously down the hallway.

I was on high-alert, my limbs taut, ready to spring forward and end the life of any threat at any given moment. I glanced at a clock, passing by the lounge, and grimaced, too dazed to care that I'd missed my match and was already disqualified.

I didn't care.

Right now, nothing matters more than preserving my own life.

I hurried down the hallway, my senses hypersensitive from recent events and when I ran into someone at the corner, I nearly speared the man without seeing who it was.

I jumped back in shock, nails sharpened, eyes wide and narrowed.

I blinked. "Wing?"

The glasses-wearing man blinked in shock, the upper half of his body already recoiling, sensing the danger radiating off me. "Illyria," he said calmly. "I was just going to look for you."

He took a step forward, forcing me to leap backwards. He stared at me as if I had grown two heads. "What's wrong?" he asked, baffled.

"Stay back, you're not Wing."

The impostor furrowed his brows, I had to admit, Illumi was an impressing impersonator but he couldn't fool me. Illumi had no ability to copy other's Nen abilities and their memories.

"Illyria," he said, raising his hands in a placating manner and he looked genuinely concern.

Yeah, right, I thought bitterly, Illumi look as if he wouldn't harm me and see what he did? And that was what my brother did, what would and outsider do to me?

"Is something wrong? Why do you look so scared? Is there a threat?"

"You're the threat!" I snarled, lunging and slashing.

"Illyria Zoldyck!" he yelled, stumbling. "By Pluto's name, what is wrong with you?!"

I stilled. "Wing?"

"Oh, now you realize," Wing muttered sarcastically, standing up and once my irrational fear minimized, I started to sense his Nen with Zetsu. "Are you sleep-walking or something?"

It was Wing, not an impostor, just my pseudo-mentor. I was convinced when he yelled Pluto's name. Wing was of Greek origin, his mother was from Greece and his father was a local but he followed his mother's religion. His Nen, something which could not be impersonated no matter how impressive my brother's abilities was, was real.

I slumped onto the couch, burying my head in my hands in mortification. "Oh... what do you want?" I asked distractedly, trying to find a way to silence Wing without killing him.

"I know how excited you are to reach the 200th floor, but you didn't show up for your match, I grew worried about my student. Definitely not my favorite but still my student," he joked lamely.

"How cold."

"Whatever. What's wrong with you anyway?"

"Why do you care?"

He sighed, pulling a packet of tissue from his front pocket and handing it to me. I stared blankly at it before taking it, starting to swipe my cheek of the blood.

The kind gesture reminded me that I was not completely alone, and maybe, just maybe, he would help me.

"It's a teacher's duty to see what's wrong with his student. You're upset, your Nen's fluctuating in fear and panic. Something's definitely wrong," he paused, adjusting his glasses. "A fight with your brother?"

"My oldest brother just tried to kill me," I mumbled, waiting for Wing to laugh it off.

But he didn't. He was frowning. "I knew Zoldycks were fucked up—no offense, Ria—but this fucked up? What did you do to him?" I glared at him for the note of awe in his voice and he gulped. "What do you plan on doing now?"

"Run," I sighed. "get away, as far as possible, from here."

Wing coughed sarcastically. "In those clothes? With no cash?"

"I have millions of Jenny stowed away. I had yet to claim my reward."

"If you're supposed to be dead, how are you going to claim your money here and at your bank account? Your family will definitely know then."

"Oh," My shoulders slumped. I didn't realize until Wing pointed it out and I felt exceedingly stupid. He was right. My cheeks flushed when I saw the last option. "Wing-sensei," I called grudgingly, seeing the man stiffen and edge away imperceptibly. "Could you please lend me some... lend me Jennies?"

My cheeks burned with humiliation. I hated asking for help, this was borderline begging for me.

"Please?"

The man sighed. "Fine."

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* * *

I was nervous to be out in daylight, in plain sight.

My long blonde-green hair flared about me, I hated how bright it was, how easy it was for someone to pull on it and the wig will fly off. I was pretty sure I was as red as a lobster right now, I was sensitive to the sun, it was killer for my pale skin. I glanced around, my green contacts hiding my real eye color.

This was a flimsy getup but it was all Wing had.

It would've been better if I had used my illusion instead, but I had learned of its weakness. I could only cast one illusion at a time. If I use illusions to hide my real face, I would be vulnerable if an enemy attacked; I wouldn't be able to alter their sense of perception if I hid myself with illusion.

It was a sucky weakness.

I have no idea how to improve it but I was determined to.

Now, I have somewhere to go.

I maintained Zetsu, scouring the area for any Nen-users and when I detected no one, I quickened my pace, coming to a stop before a very familiar orphanage.

Often, during my two years of come-and-go between my house and Heavens Arena, I had came here.

This was where Noelle and Yukiji had resided in. Actually, I was surprised not one of my family members had found out about Noelle. Either they were being merciful and turning a blind eye or they were truly ignorant (highly unlikely).

Killua and I visited this place often, sometimes, I would be able to fool everyone with illusions and Alluka could come too. Once the butlers and maids caught on though, I was pretty much banned from entering the room, or I would have my Nen temporarily sealed with one of their charms.

I exhaled slightly as I stepped indoors. I felt safer, though the long I stayed, people watching me, I started feeling claustrophobic.

I think I'm going crazy, I can't stand standing still or in anywhere spacious because then, I'd always feel like someone was looking at me, and soon, someone would be pointing at me and screaming who I truly was. If I was in closed space, I would feel trapped with nowhere to run should someone truly attack.

I was ready to see my younger sister and Yukiji—the two of them, plus Wing, were probably the only one I would trust right now.

I tapped my foot repeatedly on the ground, limbs as taut as a bow, ready to spring forth into action should anything remotely interesting happened.

I jerked away when a ball rolled into my feet.

"Pass the ball, Nee-chan!"

I smiled stiffly at the children, reaching down, weary and unconsciously shifting to Ten for defense, as I grabbed the ball, momentarily relieved that the ball was not a bomb in disguise as I tossed it back to the children.

It didn't explode. My limbs uncoiled slightly as I stepped further in, automatically, my Nen sought out Noelle's. I poked my head into the small room that was my sister's.

She was weak since birth, often ill and she had a room all to herself because of this and Yukiji was her personal attendant. It was a good thing she was isolated, I heard that my sister was quite the bully and often made kids cry with her mean remarks.

Red eyes lit up at seeing me. My face softened as I stepped forward.

Noelle smiled—so unlike the video footage the orphanage showed me of her smile when she was with the orphans—when she saw me and tackled me into a hug.

I stiffened, reminding myself repeatedly that this was my loyal sister and she wouldn't do anything to me. I peeled her off me, as usual, before removing the wig.

She looked up at me curiously. "What's with that getup?"

"I'm, uh, in hiding," I considered telling her the truth but then I know that she'd probably blab to Killua. And I couldn't have that. Killua was still a very shaky adversary now, I don't know who's side he was on and right after our largest fallout ever, I didn't really want to see him.

(_my chest hurts_)

"Why?"

"On a top secret mission," I lied glibly, without batting an eyelash. "So I need you to keep this a secret from Killua, okay?"

"Why?"

Her favorite word was 'why' and it irked me to no end. I hope for her sake that it was a genuine question and not a mean to annoy me.

I cleared my throat, smile slightly stiff as I answered. "Because no one can know, or else _they_'ll come after me."

Noelle's curiosity dimmed, sobering slightly. I didn't know what sort of story Yukiji spun out for Noelle, but my sister believed that the household of Zoldycks were enemies and threats to me. I managed to sum it up that our family's abusive and if I did anything out of accordance, I'd be tortured.

(Wasn't entirely wrong but it stung to hear it now when the wound's still smarting.)

"Oh," She trembled with barely suppressed anger. She clenched her fists, teeth gritted as she spat, "Nee-san, when is this going to end? When will you finally be free?"

_Possibly never_, I thought silently. I knew better than to tell her this as she was extremely sensitive about my safety.

I patted her head. "Where's Yukiji?"

Noelle jerked her head to the doorway. I wasn't as surprised as I was at first, after many experiences, I had learned that Yukiji was very stealthy.

She smiled at me. I stood and walked towards her with the promise to come to Noelle once we were done talking.

"Yukiji, I need you to do me a favor."

She blinked. I swallowed, I knew this was risky but I needed to know who's on my side and who's not. I wanted Killua on my side, he carried very large influence over my existence and if he's by my side, I knew that the family would hesitate, and even if they did try to kill me again, I would be taking away their heir, it was a lose-lose situation to them (try to kill me, Killua would hate them, don't kill me and I might be ruining whatever they're planning).

I didn't know about Millu-nii but I needed a way to get a message, one that could be understood, to them.

Didn't Millu-nii have some sort of crush on Yukiji?

"I need you to write me a simple letter of a few words," Yukiji blinked, silently motioning for me to continue.

I considered what the letter would be consisted of.

"I'm _alive_."

I said, and with that simple statement, the world seemed a lot simpler.

(_but not any lighter or easier_)

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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**QUESTION:** Do you wish to see other character's point of view?

**REQUEST:** I posted two new oneshots—featuring Alluka—and I want some opinion of it so go check it out and review!

Also, I've been itching to start a Illumi/Killua story- multichap of course- but I feel like gender-changing one of them. Would you prefer to read boy/boy or for one of them to be gender-changed?


	7. Chapter 7

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

**Summary:** AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure/Suspense.

**Pairing(s):** Depends of the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria and whatever OCs that had/and might show up in the future; Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Deaths. Violence. Time-skip.

**Author's Note: **Okay, I was mistaken. This was supposed to be the last chapter of the first arc. The second Arc starts with the Hunter exam. I know some people wanted 3rd pov but I can't fit them in, so...

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

**Arc I — Introduction**

**Chapter VII — I X Once X Had**

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

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**i.**

I had a little sister once.

She's handed to me when she's still a squirming and annoying infant in my arms, fighting to see her twin who she had a connection since their conception.

I am to take care of them, helping Mother, but when they can talk and walk and do everything on their own, she left them in my care. I am assigned to teach them to be assassins.

_Thank you_, she says, licking the dry blood of her cherry-colored lips, one evening when I freed her from the torture chamber. I blink languidly, unable to recall doing anything that would garner her gratefulness. She continue,_ thank you for taking care of me, but I think I can do this myself now, I can do everything—_

_Ria_, I say, interrupting her and silencing her efficiently. _Did you know_, I tap my neck, a particular vein throbbing there, _that if you hit a man's neck here, it'll kill him instantly?_

_No_, she says, blinking. Then she smiles shyly. _Teach me, I want to be like you._

_Then you'll still come here to me, yes?_

She nods. _Yeah, I want to learn_.

And I let her go.

* * *

**ii.**

I had a big sister once.

I don't remember much about her because when she died, I'm still very, very young.

I may be young, but I know the concept of death.

It means that she's never coming back; when I learn this, I join my big brother in crying.

Now, I can barely remember sister's face without the help of the photograph. It's faded and yellowed and worn, it's in my room, on my shelf. It gleams and sparkles because I clean the frame everyday, as I trace the faces within the photograph.

All my brothers are here, but my sister isn't.

She teaches me things, she taught me how to write and read and what I should live by, things I must have in my life or else there'll be no meaning in my existence.

Find someone to love; never let them go.

Find someone to protect; never let them down.

Find someone to die for; never let them feel insecure.

When I recall her words, I recall her face when she speaks, I wonder if she has experienced those feelings: being disappointed when the person she loves and protects never comes for her.

I'm going to bring her back someday, and I promise myself and my brothers who I know are missing her, that I'll never let her go, let her down or ever feel insecure again.

I'm still five, and I'm still that hopelessly optimistic boy who thinks that as long as I have power, I can bring my family back together.

I need to bring my brothers back, I need to get my brothers out, I need to find my sister.

* * *

**iii.**

I had an older sister once.

I remember clearly, every contour of her face, the slope of her nose and how her eyes twinkle brightly even in the dark, dark room.

I remember her to be a very, very quiet girl who only speaks when she needs to, or when she thinks what she has to say is important. She hates wasting her breath, and I know that, but she never hesitates to speak to me and comfort me when I have a nightmare, whispering meaningless nothings that budding assassins shouldn't need.

She's never scared of nightmares, because her powers are that: nightmares of hellish illusions. She takes comfort in nightmares I know.

But I'm different from her.

I always have dreams about that other me, and the place where he comes from.

Somewhere wrong, dark and empty. I can feel him too, his sadness and his love for sister and brother, the only people who cares about me, about us.

They always have our special treatment.

He has bad dreams too, I have them too, but that's okay, brother and sister always chase them away.

Brother will comfort us with words and promises to beat down every threat confronting us, but Sister will just prop herself on her elbows, tired and irritated, as she gazes at us, miffed that she's losing precious sleep.

But despite whatever grumblings she has, she never goes back to sleep. And sometimes, when she thinks I'm asleep, I will feel her smoothing down my hair.

And sometimes, when she sleeps soundly, I will do the same.

* * *

**iv.**

I had a baby sister once.

She's annoying at times, but most of the time, I appreciate her presence in my dark room.

I hate leaving the house and my room, I hate it.

Because whenever I leave my safehouse, I will be forced under their stares, disdainful and disappointed and gauging as if I was born to please them and live up to their expectations.

She knows what I think from snooping about in my diary.

I'm furious, because if she knows how much of a coward I am, how I shy away and avoid all my problems together instead of solving them, she'll leave too.

I'm waiting, anytime now, she'll say a cruel word, anything to make me feel as low as dirt, I'm still waiting for her to become one of_ them_.

But she doesn't say anything, merely passes me the book and resumes her seat by my dresser. I notice how small she is, how her feet don't even come close to reaching the ground.

Seeing her so frail form, I can easily imagine her death; her colors of blue, white and gold, disappearing to be tainted by red.

It makes me want to lock her in my room with me, forever, then my favorite person won't die and I'll have someone there who won't judge me.

_Aren't you scared of dying?_ I ask one day, when we're munching on snacks I've managed to smuggle in.

Little Ria, still four, stares up at me with wide and old eyes. _Yes, I'm scared shitless whenever I think about it. That's why I train and continue on, so I won't die._

_You can quit all together, like me._

She's silent, as if seriously contemplating my suggestion and for a moment, I think she will take me up on my suggestion. But she shakes her head. _No_, she says firmly, quietly, reluctantly, as if she wants nothing more than to agree with me. _I have to do this, it's my duty_.

There's guilt in her eyes, as if she owes us something.

_Why?_

_It's silly._

_You can tell me._

But she doesn't.

But at night, when she dozes off on my large bed, I think I can hear her whispered answer.

I don't hear it properly, and even now, as I type away on my computer, I'm waiting for the ghost behind me to whisper the answer again.

When the ghost does speak again, I promise not to mishear again.

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**v.**

I had a pretty sister once.

She's always by my side, quiet and supporting, like a wraith or a spectator. She may seem to be contented, but I know her best and I can feel her jealousy, darkness, hatred and anger.

I can never be sure who it's directed to.

Always, when I feel it, I will slip my hand into hers and hope it's not me.

When she squeezes back, a reassuring gesture, I can confidently tell myself that she doesn't hate me.

I can barely recall moments, waking or sleeping, where her hand isn't in mind (or is it the other way around).

Hand in hand, we do everything together; we talk about a great many things, dreams, ambitions and our likes and dislikes.

But, everything we talk about, it's all about me; my dreams, my likes, dislikes, wishes and ambitions.

But she never tells me her dreams, she just holds my hand tight, silent as ever, and smile when she's supposed to be crying.

She doesn't say it out loud, but I know why she never tells me about her dreams: it's not like she'll live long enough to experience half the things she wants to do anyway.

I hate that she thinks all my dreams, visions, and hopes for the future are hers.

Doesn't she trust me?

Does she really think I will kill her because of some petty legend?

I don't know the answer; just as I don't know which one of us reached out for the other first in our sleep. When we're awake, I can count the number of times she reaches out for me and the time I grasp her hand tightly for confidence.

I don't know about our sleeping moments, just that, every morning I came to, I see our joined hands.

Now, when she's no longer by my side, no longer does her heartbeat lulls me to sleep or for her breath to warm my skin, I finally realize who reaches out for the other twin in sleep.

It's me.

I realize this when, one morning without her, I wake to find my arm grasping for someone who's no longer there.

* * *

**vi.**

There existed a girl once.

She has eyes like the setting sun, just like Mother, and her hair's the color of the night sky. I know my colors well, I know her colors too. I also know she bleeds red blood and cries white-blue tears.

But one color I don't know about her is her heart. I think it's grey—because she's not pure, she's not entirely darkness either; she's a girl tainted by our deeds and teachings, but she still has her own morals and ideas.

I wish, sometimes, I can hear her say them out loud.

Because then, I'll be able to mold her better. Not that it matters now, she's no longer here.

Her colors remain, I see them almost everywhere I go—red, blue, black, grey.

And then, finally, a burst of white.

The white of her cheeks and skin as blood stops pumping, the white of her too wide eyes, the white of her unshed tears.

There's so much white where blood's supposed to be staining the white sheets she's lying on.

Like this is some sort of suicide, this is murder, I know.

I wonder if she'll speak again, and tell us who took away all her colors, leaving her nothing but this white, formless and sad thing within our memories.

* * *

**vii.**

I held her once.

She's small, weak, frail and so breakable. I don't think it's hard at all to snap her neck and it'll definitely be easy to see her eyes roll back into her head as she slumps listlessly.

She thinks I'm safe, and that I will protect her.

I think, on some level, I will.

Sometimes, when she's feeling brave, she'll slip her small hands into mine.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling lenient, I'll let it slip and pretend that her hand isn't in mine.

Sometimes, when she's confident enough, she'll walk closer to me.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling gentle, I'll rub her knuckles with my fingers.

Sometimes, when she's tired, she'll wrap her arms around me and let me drag her to her room.

Sometimes, when I'm human and a big brother, I'll wrap my arms around her and carry her into my arms.

Sometimes, when her guard's down and dazed, she'll whisper those three little words in my ear.

Sometimes, when I'm crazy and weak, I'll whisper the same to her.

Only when I'm walking down the familiar hallways that she always takes, by my side, did I realize that the sometimes I think about is everytime.

I wonder when our sometime will come again.

* * *

**viii.**

I had sister's presence once.

She's not here anymore.

But sometimes, I think I can feel her there, still out there somewhere, breathing.

When I slip into her kimono, kimonos she always wears, I feel a little closer to her, and any moment now, I can fool myself thinking that every shift of the kimono I feel when I move is her gentle caress.

It's too bad the illusion never lasts long.

* * *

**ix.**

I had sister's warmth once.

She's cold and warm all the same, I feel a myriad of emotions and senses when I'm in her arms. She never hugs me willingly, but she doesn't push me away either. I'm always the one to initiate the hug, and I'm very glad she doesn't pushes me away.

I know very well that she's scared of me.

Sometimes, I'm scared of her too.

I'm scared that she'll hate me, abandon me, or treat me the same way everyone does in the house.

Any moment now, I'm waiting for the three dreaded words to come.

I feel guilty, I hate myself, everytime I catch myself thinking that it's good she's no longer here, because then I'd be able to fool myself, like how she always fools her opponents, that she loves me and she never hates me.

I know sister loves me.

She has to.

* * *

**x.**

I realize what my sister can do once.

And she can still do now: make us feel a large, large parts of myself and my brothers, are gone, following her into the void or wherever she is now.

It's too late, it's just simply terrifying to know that, despite the assassin training we've had, we still aren't immune to love.

Sometimes, when the ache becomes unbearable, I will always be reminded of her words: _you never realize what you hold dear until you lose them _and I regret not telling her what I should've told her a very, very long time ago where I have all the time in the world to tell her that—

_Sister, I love you_

—but that long, long time ago is gone now.

I'm just waiting for the time to come when I'll join her and then, I know, I'm confident that we'll have an eternity together catching up on things. Times like these, on lonely cold nights, I can feel her there, as if she's still alive and watching me.

But when my time comes, I know the person who'll greet me there will have a fine hair of navy blue, golden-red eyes and a thousand tales at the tip of her tongue to tell me about a world she's in love with.

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**REQUEST:** I want to make this tragedy-feel and angsty, I hope I didn't disappoint, do tell me what you think by reviewing! And remember to check out my oneshots!

**QUESTION:** Which part (eg. i, iv, ii, v) is your favorite?

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	8. Chapter 8

**Crying Wolf**

_written by Riseha_

**Summary:** AU, Allow me to tell you: to be reincarnated is a gift in itself. But being reborn in a family full of trained assassins is nothing but a curse. Self Insert, OC.

**Genre(s):** Family/Friendship/Drama/Angst/Adventure/Suspense.

**Pairing(s):** Depends on the majority of votes.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria and whatever OCs that had/and might show up in the future; Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Violence. Language.

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

**Arc II — Hunters**

**Chapter VIII **

_Gon X Kurapika X Leorio_

I inhaled deeply.

The scent of the ocean breeze wafted up my nose, and I was ready to pass out.

I hated the sea and anything related to it, such as riding a rocking boat which won't stop swaying. Groaning, I stumbled for a handhold, leaning over and puking.

I was sure the ship had yet to move.

I couldn't imagine how I would suffer through the real boat-ride.

"Urk," I covered my mouth, glancing up the same time I felt someone tapping repeatedly on my shoulder. I blinked, the world was still swimming, and stared at the muddled figure of a green clad boy. "What?" I demanded, irritated.

"Um, are you okay?" he asked, concerned in his big brown eyes. wretch

He looked familiar, however, my mind was too muddled to give an appropriate response other than sarcastic ones. "What on earth do you mean? Do I _look_ okay—urk!" Abruptly, I turned away from him and bowed over the railing, retching into the ocean.

"Here," the boy pressed a cool water bottle against my heated cheeks. I glanced at him suspiciously—well, there was no harm since I was immune to most poison anyway—before taking it and gulping it down. "How do you feel now?"

I blinked; the world was starting to get sharper, the whale in my stomach wasn't as mean as before—I think I was getting better... as long as I stopped moving anyway.

"Thanks," I whispered breathlessly as I slumped down onto the wooden ground, hearing a man shout something, an order for them to release the ropes. I winced, we're moving off soon. "What's your name?"

"I'm Gon!"

"Oh, how familiar... wait, what?"

"I said my name's Gon," the brown-eyed boy repeated patiently, still smiling down at me. "What's your name?"

"Noel," I said, mind still whirling at the prospect of meeting the series' protagonist. I was not the one who picked the name; Noelle did, she said she wanted to name me after her. Ugh, half the time, I wonder what she's thinking. "Noel Kycdolz. _KAI-DOLZ_," I added the last part kindly when he struggled with my last name.

I wondered what sort of idiot would not know that my supposed last name was merely the alternate spelling of Zoldyck; just spelled from behind. I supposed I was asking for trouble, by advertising who I really was.

But—call me an idiot or impatient brat—I was sick of waiting, sick of hiding like a coward.

I wanted to see my brothers again, above all, I want to see Killua and Illumi.

I want to know why the latter tried to kill me.

I want to know how Killua was doing; was he still the same sweet, crazy, boy I knew from years ago?

How has it been since I last saw him?

My heart throbbed, reminding me that we had four years to catch up on and damn did I miss him. Of course I missed Alluka and Milluki too. I didn't know about Kalluto, we barely bonded but I guess I would like to see him too (though I doubted he missed me since we weren't all that close).

"Is something wrong?" Gon asked again. I blinked. "You look a little pale."

I shook my head. "No, just... missing my family," I mumbled, blushing slightly, wondering why I was suddenly confessing something so intimate to him.

He didn't laugh, didn't try to make me feel better for which I was glad. He crouched before me. "Why did you leave them?" he asked, eyes filled with curiosity.

"It wasn't by choice," I mumbled, pulling my knees up to my chest, burying the lower half of my face. "I had to go."

Gon did not pry. "I left my family back home too," he offered, smiling. "But not because I had to, I wanted to find my father. You could say that I left my family to find another member of my family, if it makes any sense. Heh." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"I'm sure you'll find your old man," I finally said, awkward, not knowing how to continue the conversation. I wasn't exactly the chatty-type, that was Killua's job.

"How's your dad like?"

"Unlikable, I... hate him," I muttered, finding the abrupt never-before-contemplated statement true. I hated him. Why? Maybe because a part of me feared that he'd kill me, a part of me that knew he'd probably ordered Illumi to kill me for whatever reason.

"But surely you'll save him if he's danger!"

I scoffed, unable to hide the bitterness. "What sort of question is that? Of course I'll leave my old man to rot—I only care about my siblings."

Gon wrinkled his nose. "I don't get you."

"Every family is different," I offered, in case we get into a pointless argument. I gazed out at the horizon, resting my head against the hard surface behind me. "Why did you join the Hunter Exam?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"I want to become a Hunter because I want to find my father, only by becoming a Hunter like him, I'll be able to see him. What about you?" Gon looked curiously at me.

I shifted. "My teacher insisted," I said. "and, there's someone here I want to meet."

"Who?"

"My brother."

Gon grinned. "Congratulations! You found your family before I did, how long were you guys separated anyway?"

"Four years."

Gon blinked. "That's the same time I started missing my father. Guess we're the same, we waited long enough..." he trailed off, blinking. "It took you four years to see your brother again, I hope I can see my dad in the same span of time."

"He'll be proud of you," I mumbled, somewhat bitter.

I couldn't help myself. I was jealous of Gon. I knew his dad had confidence in him, loved him and believed he'd do the right thing; Gon had a father who loved his child and would protect said child.

I want a dad like him.

I couldn't help but feel the stirring jealousy; why can't I have a dad like him?

"Noel?"

I turned away, eyes fixated on the sky.

The sun was setting.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I tumbled out of my hammock, jerking awake.

In the four years I spent with my esteemed (note the sarcasm) sensei, and thanks to Illumi's sneak attacks during the middle of the nights, I was used to waking up in an instant, no grogginess clutching me as I prepared myself for danger.

Just as I stumbled onto my feet, I was sent flying off the ground.

Yelping, I scrambled for a handhold, trying to steady myself as Hunter hopefuls fell with me, their body connecting with the boat walls with a loud thud.

Oh, the boat was moving?

I felt faint, my grip on the hammock loosening enough for me to slid backwards. My head connected painfully with the walls, but I didn't even wince, too used to pain.

I've been through worse, I decided as I stumbled to my feet again, once the rocking had lessened enough for me to run out of the cabin.

I ran smack dab into someone else. Grunting, I stepped back, someone reached out to steady me. I glanced up into cool grey eyes, blond hair framed his face and his skin glowed under on the dark. I pulled away, not saying my gratitude; I would've been perfectly fine without his help.

"Are you okay, miss?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I sniffed the air, smelling thunder, rain and the ocean. I scowled. "Storm?"

"Yes."

"Oh," I muttered sarcastically. "Great." I latched onto the closest railing when the rocking started again. I was sure the boat had been thrown upside down with how wild my world rocked, but when my vision cleared, I was half-crouching, half-laying and the ground.

I pulled myself back up.

"Do you think it's over?" I asked.

The older boy shrugged. "No idea, come on, let's go check it out..."

"Noel."

"Kurapika."

I know, I thought silently but didn't comment as I ran after him. I peeked over his shoulder, seeing Gon running about like a lunatic as he rushed about to treat those with sea-sickness. I saw him holding the bottle from earlier. I rolled my eyes. Please, if these guys remained the way they were, there'd be lesser competitions in the Exams.

"Let's help," Kurapika muttered as he stepped forward.

I scowled, I hated doing charity work, especially when I wouldn't be getting anything in the end. The Zoldyck family had pounded it into my head that unless there was a reward for my help, I should be less inclined to help.

Ah, but, this Hunter Exam was a two-way street. Time to act like I'm a good person and make everyone feel indebted to me.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"Why do you want to be a Hunter, kids?"

I refrained from rolling my eyes at the cliched question.

Kurapika and Leorio (or, Uncle as Gon called him) were silent, clearly unwilling to answer. Gon wasn't as inclined to be so secretive.

"To meet my father!" he declared, almost proudly.

The drunkard of a captain glanced expectantly at me.

"To meet my brother," I deadpanned. "and because my mentor guilt-tripped me into this."

"My reasons are..." Kurapika hesitated. "Too personal to be said out loud."

Leorio glanced at Kurapika, a tick irritated by the younger boy's arrogance and secretiveness. "Why so secretive?"

"Why are you so nosy?"

I scoffed, shoving my hands into my black hoodie, looking away and tuning out the argument. I trailed after Gon obediently, trying to 'help' him stop their fight. I was ready to see them fight.

Like the old man, I was quite excited about challenging others and checking out their powers would be awesome.

The moment I came out and saw the wild sea, and the dark clouds and pounding rain, I was ready to crawl back inside the cabin and sleep away. I blinked rapidly to keep the rain out of my eyes and to keep myself from passing out; my stomach churned, as I squinted through the rain, trying to make my way back.

"Hey, stop fighting—gah!"

I cried out when someone slammed into me, sending me skidding backwards. I felt my hips smacking soundly with the metal railing, it stung a little but what alarmed me more was that I was tumbling right off.

I blanched, stretching my hand to reach the railing. My grip slipped because of the lack of friction caused by the rain. Someone caught my hand before I could fall into the ocean, I squinted and I saw Gon.

"Idiot! You'd just fall into the ocean with me—"

Our fall stopped. I felt my body crashing against the lower half of the boat before I was hauled up.

"Whoa!" Gon laughed as we were momentarily suspended in air, before we fell to the ground. He landed on his back but he didn't seem to mind the pain as I landed on all fours.

I glanced at Kurapika and Leorio. "Thanks," I said.

I had always been a bit prideful, and thanking someone was hard for me. After spending four years with my mentor however, I'd slowly come to say the dreaded word.

Only when the person wasn't an ass and was deserving of it.

I sprang to my feet nimbly, before, very, very hesitantly, reached out a hand for Gon to take. "Get up," I mumbled when I saw his wide-eyed wonder, blushing slightly from embarrassment when everyone stared at me.

I knew I hadn't made a good first impression on them. Because of sea-sickness and my general inability to be a social butterfly, I was came off as a rude and sarcastic person. Not that I could help myself, I was ill and was ready to get off the boat, regretting having taken this path to the Exams in the first place.

He took my head and I pulled, he was surprisingly light for a boy his age. I wondered if he was underweight or I was just that strong.

I tilted my head to the side in response to his word of thanks.

I glanced at the horizon again, frowning slightly when the sunlight shone right onto my sensitive right eye.

"The sun's rising, the storm's past us now! Yay!"

I glanced up, realizing that Gon was right; the clouds were parting.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"This place is deserted," Leorio said flatly, frowning as he glanced about. "Did we get the wrong place? Did the captain trick us? Does he expect us to swim 60 miles per hour to reach the Examination grounds—"

I smiled slightly. Sometimes, Leorio's dramatics could be amusing.

"No," I said. "They're here, I can sense them." Their Nen was blatantly obvious.

"I can smell them," Gon added, tilting his head to the side. "Wonder why they're hiding though..."

"I can hear them as well," Kurapika said, frowning as he glanced around. "Perhaps there is immediate danger here—wait. They're coming out of hiding."

I studied them curiously, eyeing each and every villager carefully.

I caught unimpressed looks thrown my way. I knew I didn't look intimidating or Hunter-worthy with my worn hoodie, ripped jeans and combat boots. It didn't help that I wasn't too tall for girls my age either. I probably looked like a ten-year-old in the middle of a battlefield.

"Come on," I muttered, taking few steps forward.

"Very interesting," the old hag—or was it a man, I couldn't tell, kids and old people were androgynous looking most of the time which was annoying and confusing—murmured. "Now... for the exciting quiz of two answers!" She paused dramatically, then glanced at the villager surrounding her.

Everyone clapped dutifully.

How fake. I wondered if they were being forced to partake this stupid ritual.

"Why should we waste our time with this?" Leorio scoffed, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"You're heading for that tree on the mountain, aren't you?" Not one of us answered her but she continued anyway. "If you want the least trouble, you'll have to leave this village, the other paths are confusing labyrinths and full of traps and monsters set up to eliminate candidates."

"So we have no choice," I grunted, shifting on my feet. "Let's get this show on the road."

"You'll only have five seconds to consider your answer, and if you fail to answer, you'll be disqualified, and you'll have to answer with either the number one or two, other answers are invalid." the old hag said, grinning toothlessly, reminding me of old Maha for a while before I blinked the memory away. "First question—"

"Hold it!" Leorio protested. "One question for three people? What if he"—Leorio jabbed a thumb in Kurapika's direction—"answers wrong? We'll be disqualified together?!"

"Highly unlikely," Kurapika deadpanned. "The chances of you disqualifying us is more likely. The idea of answering together makes my heart throb in pain."

I sniggered. "Best not to let him answer then, I'm confident in my IQ."

"You little—" I yelped, abruptly finding myself in a chokehold. I nearly hurled Leorio off me with my enhanced strength, but I reminded myself that he didn't know my family taught me to avoid physical contact as much as possible.

Fortunately for me, Kurapika who was also in a chokehold elbowed our captor, freeing us instantly. I rubbed my neck, not feeling any particular pain but awkwardness.

Sure Killua and I had our own share of physical contact, beating the shit out of one another, hugging, snuggling, holding hands, trying to kill one another etc. But he'd never catch me in a chokehold before.

I wondered if that was what normal older brothers from _normal_ families usually did to their younger siblings.

"Sorry, kids, I'll be answering first." I blinked, pulling myself out of my reverie to stare blankly at the newcomer. He smirked at us. "I eavesdropped on you guys, so I know."

"Sure," Leorio muttered, blinking owlishly. "you can go first."

"Let's see what sort of question she asks of us," I added, crossing my arms and listening attentively.

"Here is the question: your mother and lover are captives of a demon. You can only save one; your mother, choice 1 or your lover, choice 2."

The answer was very obvious to me: my lover. My mother wasn't loving, I had no illusions that she had ever loved me. She never loved me, so I don't love her; I'd definitely leave her to rot.

I was silent; this question didn't demand our honesty, it was a trick question to test our compassion. I better remain silent and see what the others came up with.

"1!" The stranger instantly answered. I could tell he was lying and he probably would've saved his lover instead.

"Why?"

"A mother is unique," he said with little conviction. "mothers went through great pain to bring us into this world; lovers don't."

"Depends on what sort of person you have for a lover or a mother," I mumbled, shuffling behind Kurapika when the old hag's eyes narrowed pointedly at me, but she didn't comment, just whispered to her villagers then pointed him down a path her villagers had cleared.

Leorio exploded the moment the shorty disappeared.

"_Are you mocking us_!" he yelled. "_What's with that impossible quiz?_!"

"That's why it's not possible for us to answer," I mumbled.

"That's it, brat!" Leorio jabbed his forefinger in my nose. "One more wisecrack from you and you're scrap!" Then he turned his glare on the old lady. "This is ridiculous! I'm leaving and taking another path! Who the hell could say who's right or wrong anyway?!"

The old hag scoffed. "Too late," she cackled gleefully. "if you leave, you'll be disqualified. But that's to be expected, you don't have the true soul of a hunter..."

Leorio growled.

"Leorio!" Kurapika called.

"Don't tell me you're taking the quiz!"

"Enough with the arguments!" The old hag declared, standing up and glaring at us. "From now on, any useless words other than the answer 1 or 2 will count as disqualification! Answer: 1, accept the quiz. 2: refuse it and leave."

I hummed. The guy's Nen was gone but he was supposed to still be within my rage, which meant that he's dead. The 1st answer was the wrong one.

I don't think she'll be asking us the same question.

"1," I said, Kurapika and Gon repeating the same, and very reluctantly, Leorio did the same.

"Okay, question: your son and daughter have been kidnapped, you can only save one. 1, daughter; 2, son; who do you chose?"

Leorio's nostrils flared, eliciting a chuckle from me; these guys were amusing, I can see why Kill wanted friends. I wanted them as my friends too, things would be more interesting then.

"Five, four, three..."

I glanced at Leorio who'd moved and grabbed a conveniently placed wooden bat. He swung it, vein in his forehead throbbing as he exercised his muscles.

"There it is," the old woman said. "It's over."

Leorio roared, lunging.

I snickered as Kurapika lunged, his own wooden swords meeting Leorio's.

"Leorio! Calm down!"

"Are you shitting me? Forget being a Hunter! I'll be doing society a deed: get rid of physcho old hags who torment people! I'm going to Zaban with a gift: her head!"

"We won," I said, trying to make the situation better. "Silence is the solution. You said it yourself, it's impossible to tell which answer is right and which is wrong. So we can't answer; the rules require that, if we want to answer, we'll have to answer either 1 or 2, no rules say that we can't keep silent."

"But that guy—"

"He's dead," I announced flatly. "I heard his scream. The way he took was the wrong one. He got eaten by something, I guess. Too bad, so sad."

"Exactly," the old hag said, tottering towards us with her walking stick. "This way is the right one," she nodded to the two villagers who were pushing apart two camouflaged doors. "After two hours of walk, you'll reach the tree."

I smirked at Leorio.

"You owe her an apology."

"I'm sorry, obaa-san," he said, tone extremely polite.

The old woman merely grinned. "It's okay. I accepted this job because I want to meet people like you. Keep hanging on and you'll be a good Hunter."

I doubt that I will.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

It was after a very, very long moment of silence before Gon spoke.

"I really don't understand at all," he said. We stared at him. "I don't say this to have an answer to that question, but, a day may come where I'll have to make that choice."

We were silent. Not even Leorio commented.

"Gon's right," I said. "That's the real meaning of the quiz. You have to imagine everything, be prepared for the worst, when the time comes to chose between loved ones. Because reality doesn't have a place for feelings, it doesn't feel pity. We have to be prepared to walk down that path someday, where we'll be possibly killing someone close to us with our decisions."

Leorio squinted at me.

"I didn't think you were those type that think deeply about philosophy."

"No," I agreed. "I'm just speaking from experience."

Kurapika blinked. "What happened?"

"There's no loved ones involved. It's a situation similar enough at least. The choices were between myself and my precious person. Who do I save from pain of loneliness and abandonment?"

Gon blinked. "Who did you chose?"

I stared ahead.

"Myself."

Somewhere, some far away place, I heard a seagull cry out in anguish.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

**QUESTION: **Who do you think Illyria's elusive mentor is?

Right, people wanted a list of character pov from the last chapter. I shall provide thee with this:

- i, vii, Illumi

- ii, viii, Kalluto

- iii, ix, Alluka

- iv, Milluki

- v, x, Killua

- vi, Maha (special, bonus non-sibling character, who, might or might nor play an important role)

To be noted, I'm **searching for a Beta Reader** who's, maybe, about as free as me.

Thanks for helping me reach the 70+ mark, and soon, 80+ mark! I know it's wishful thinking, but if it's possible, I want you guys **help me reach the 100+** next chapter!

So, please!

**REVIEW**

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	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria and whatever OCs that had/and might show up in the future; Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Violence. Time-skip. Third-person pov.

**A.N:** Thanks for helping me reach 100+ review mark, guys! So, as a treat, I made this chapter longer than usual even though it took quite a while. Can't be helped; the only reason I updated so fast a few weeks ago because I was on vacation then- and I'm juggling with new fics. Do check them out when you have the time! n.n

**Beta:** Arii-hime.

**Author:** Me (_duh_).

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

**Arc II — Hunters**

**Chapter IX**

_Far X Too X Long_

I heard once, that you don't know what you have until it's gone.

Once upon a time, I thought that was complete and utter crap. Now, I'm thinking that whoever said that was a genius. When I caught a glimpse of that silver-white hair among the hundreds of participants, memories flooded me till I was left breathless.

Minor, simple things, memories I thought I didn't think I have flashed past my mind: a moment's laughter with Killua, holding him while he cried his eyes out from a torture session, nursing him back to health when he was ill, high-fives when we won a battle in the Heavens Arena and many more minor things.

I turned away.

"Is something wrong, Noel?" I blinked rapidly, turning to face Kurapika. "You look a little pale."

"She's always pale," Leorio snorted.

I pressed my lips into a thin line, not in the mood to snap back. I had more pressing matters to deal with. How do I avoid my brothers? I worried my lip as I mulled it over.

I had to avoid pretty much everyone, even Hisoka was a big no-no. Wait, that guy wasn't even supposed to be approached in the first place!

Come to think of it, it was simply impossible to avoid them for the rest of my life.

I winced, running a hand through my hair. Damn, my pride won'tlet me cower away and avoid them for the rest of my life and I wanted to see them too.

That, however, did not mean that I'd just storm up to them and ask how were they. I felt like slam-dunking my own head when I imagine the chaos that would ensue with such a greeting.

(_Illumi would kill me right away,_ I shuddered, knowing that my oldest brother had no tolerance of failure and he would definitely would want me—the physical embodiment of his failure to complete a mission or his goals—gone.)

Only when someone shoved a can of drink into my face did I come back to reality. I blinked rapidly, unaware that I had placed my hand under my chin, like I usually did in thought.

I took the offered drink, uncaring of the poison my enhanced sense of smell could scent. Frowning in thought, I gulped it down, nearly rolling my eyes as the poison disintegrated under the effects of the drugs I had consumed. My body was modified, superior to an average human with the drugs I had taken.

"Noel, no!"

I blinked. "Eh?"

Leorio scowled, whacking me upside the head like Millu-nii sometimes did whenever I did something stupid or drop his figurines. "Idiot! Didn't you hear when Gon said that it's expired? Do you want to spend your days in the toilet?!"

"No," I said. "the poison won't work on me anyways." I glanced at Tonpa as I added, "It's too mild."

He jerked, stammering. "W-What?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "The drink's poisoned. Don't trust this guy." Before Tonpa could stammer another excuse, the loud ring of an alarm clock drew our attention. "Sayonara!" I lifted my hand in a salute to the fatass. "Have fun crushing the other newbies!"

I smirked.

Four years out of that stuffy and dark Zoldyck estate had done me some good. Especially the time I spent around the playful old man; I'm sure he had rubbed off on me.

"So, you know." I glanced sideways at Kurapika who had started jogging. "You're no ordinary girl."

I scowled. "Thanks," I said, sarcasm leaking from my tone.

Leorio opened his mouth to say something but someone zooming past us made him cry out something different, "Hey, kid, that's cheating!"

The boy turned, not stopping. "Why?" he deadpanned.

I knew that voice. Unwillingly, I slowed down, shrinking back behind Kurapika even though I knew it was futile.

"He just asked us to follow him didn't he?" Gon asked innocently. "He didn't say anything about not using any other means of transportation."

"Who asked you? Whose side are you on anyway?" Leorio demanded, annoyed.

"Hm," I heard Killua's huskier, boyish voice hum to himself. "Hey," he called. My heart nearly stopped but fortunately, he wasn't talking to me. He was talking to Gon. "how old are you?"

"Nearly thirteen," Gon replied. He smiled. "I'm glad to see someone other than me and Noel are the same age!"

"Noel?" Killua turned, and promptly tripped. I caught up and out of sisterly instinct, caught him, pulling him up before he was trampled by the determined Hunter hopefuls behind us. He stumbled, his grip on his skateboard nearly loosening entirely before he gathered himself and squirmed out of my grip, keeping pace by me.

He squinted at me, shook his head rapidly and blinked half a dozen times a second. Finally, he reached out and smacked me.

"Ow, hey! What was that for?"

He gaped. "You're real?"

I expected a tearful reunion but this brother of mine was starting to grate on my nerves. Calm down, I told myself. I'm supposed to be the mature one, the more patient one.

"Ria—no, you're not real—"

"I'm Noel," I offered, giving him the look and elbowing him into silence. I saw, past his shoulder, Illumi in disguise as Glitturack. "He's Gon, that's Leorio and Blondie is Kurapika."

"Blondie?" Kurapika echoed incredulously, staring at me sternly.

"How old?" Killua asked, eyes fixated on my face.

"Me? Thirteen, same age as Gon. Kurapika's probably sixteen or fifteen. And Leorio's the oldest at thirty-five or so—"

"You little brat!" Leorio roared, whacking me again; I felt no pain but I scowled in annoyance as my vision tunneled from the sudden force. "I'm never speaking to you again! I'm from the same generation as you all are!"

"What?" Gon yelled in disbelief. "Seriously?!"

While Leorio continued his little temper tantrum, wasting his breath, I scoffed, pulling ahead. It was no surprise to me when Killua caught up to me; his face was uncharacteristically serious and I wondered, with a pang in my chest, how much I'd missed.

"Ria—Noel—we've got to talk—"

"What's there to speak about?" I cut in, a bead of sweat trickling down my cheek. I could feel Illumi's stare on my back; could feel him trying to penetrate my mind for answers.

"Are you- do you- I mean I—" Killua's fists clenched, struggling to speak, to get the words out to convey his feelings, hoping against hope that I was his sister and that his twin wasn't dead despite the dead body buried six feet under for four years now.

"Spit it out."

"Do you know an Illyria Zoldyck?" he spluttered out.

I blinked. "No," I answered, lying glibly, sounding as puzzled as possible. "Who's that?"

"My sister. She's- I mean, she was- but aren't you—"

"My condolences," I said, trying to sound sympathetic even though I wanted to smack him to get him to shut up because Illumi was starting to run closer to us.

My guard of Nen flared, warning him off us as I grasped Killua's arm; panic flaring when I saw the glint of his pin.

"What?" Killua asked, puzzled.

"Nothing," I said, releasing his arm. "Thought I saw someone taking aim at us." I slowed down, glancing back when I heard Gon calling out Leorio's name. I glanced forward briefly, seeing Kurapika ahead of us.

"Gon, come on!" Killua called to the still boy.

I cupped my hand over my mouth. "Giving up, already, old man?"

"Hell no!" I stepped aside hurriedly when Leorio shot past me. "I'm ready to do anything to be a Hunter!"

I blinked. "He's ready to do so much for money?" Killua opened his mouth to say something to me but I didn't want to talk, not when Hisoka and Illumi were so close and could eavesdrop for one another.

I shot forward. Besides, no way was I losing to an old man.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

My Zetsu was perfect.

That was why I sensed them before I saw them. I whirled around, shoved Gon out of the way, and caught the wayward cards. I took a step back from the sheer force of the Shu applied to the cards.

I scowled, flaring my Ten, as I hurled the cards back to their owner. "Watch where you're throwing next time," I grouched.

Hisoka beamed; rearranging his cards. "Sorry," he drawled sarcastically.

Gon blinked. "How did you know they're coming? I couldn't even tell!"

I raised my palms up for him to see. Killua inhaled sharply. "Your hands..." Red lines, bleeding sleek red blood lined my palms. I winced, he'd thrown at least six at me, and I'd caught them between my knuckles and damn did it hurt.

"That bastard," Killua growled, eyes flaring with anger. "I'm going to kill him!"

Leorio leered suggestively, even as he rummaged about his briefcase for bandages and ointment for my wounds while the proctor reprimanded Hisoka. "Why're you so worried about her?" he asked, smirking as he applied ointment on my wounds. "You like her, don'tcha?" He started giggling madly.

We scowled identically.

"Don't be—" Killua started.

"—an idiot," I finished, scoffing as I snatched my hand back from Leorio, sticking my tongue out as I did so. "Now come on, old man, let's get going!"

I darted forward, not because I was afraid of losing the proctor but because I was afraid of Illumi and Hisoka just right behind us. Killua and Gon caught up to me, each boys on my sides.

I kept my eyes ahead. "Stick close to me," I said. "I can sense them. We should stay in the front—"

"—Hisoka's out for blood—"

"—I can sense his bloodlust—"

"—it's prudent to leave draw a large distance—"

"—no doubt he'll use the fog," We finished in unison.

Gon blinked. "You guys act like twins!" he laughed. "How funny!" He blinked again, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "How could you guys tell though?"

"His aura," I answered. "it's different from everyone here."

"Because we're of the same type," Killua answered, his eyes narrowing at me. "How did you sense the aura anyway?"

"Killing intent," I said, reluctant to elaborate on Nen—not here, not where there were so many threats about us. "At any rate, just shut up and follow me. I'll lead you guys to the proctor." I won't be having any problems getting out of this marsh; I scoffed, Nen-users could come out unscathed.

I quickened my pace when I sense the proctor's Nen getting further and further away. "Hey, Killua, Gon, keep pace... huh?" I stopped, turning when I didn't hear their footsteps.

Oh, great, I thought sarcastically, darting back into the mist.

I was closer to Gon, who was with Leorio and—I scowled heavily—Hisoka. I stretched out my senses for Killua, feeling him head another way, a zigzagged way towards where the proctor was; he'd be safe, I don't need to worry about him.

I swept a few pebbles off the floor, flinging through the mist at where I could sense Hisoka's Nen.

"Get away from them," I said, voice cold and flat, internally wincing that I sound like Illumi.

(no affectionate and doting _illu-nii_ anymore because he tried to kill me)

"Noel!" Gon yelped, drawing in gulps of air greedily. I saw red marks on his neck, figuring that he'd been choked by the magician before I came. "Run, he's too dangerous!"

"I should be saying that to you, you idiot," I muttered. I trembled under Hisoka's analyzing glare; ugh, I felt as if he was stripping me with his gaze and taking me apart to analyze. My grip on the pebble tightened. "What do you want?"

"I was just playing examiner," he said cheerfully, taking a step away from Gon. "you know, helping the proctors eliminate the useless ones who only got here through pure luck. You friends passed my test; I wish to fight them someday," he mused thoughtfully, a finger under his chin, not moving even as Gon stumbled away from him and towards the unconscious Leorio.

His amber eyes trailed to me. "You know what Nen is."

"So?"

Hisoka licked his lips, grinning. "Now, all I want is to fight _you_."

My Nen flared as I started forming my Hatsu; I knew this was risky, he was far from careless and he'd probably figure out what type of Nen I had.

And how often do you stumble upon Specialists?

Quite rare, though far from impossible.

But how many Illyria Zoldyck lookalikes out there with Specialization Nen, which, coincidentally, is about illusionary and trickery? Nil. I'd be found out for sure if Hisoka blabbed to Illumi and then brother dear blabbed to the higher-ups.

It would be best to trick Hisoka into believing I created a portal to flee: a Conjuration type, leave them guessing.

I started running, grabbed Gon and Leorio and dashed out of the clearing before Hisoka realized that he was being tricked. My range wasn't long; we probably had about three minutes to get as far as possible before he run after us.

First things first: get to the checkpoint.

Hisoka was less likely to try anything funny with the proctors about.

Gon, fortunately, had enough sense to keep his mouth shut at least until we reached a fair distance. "Thank you," he said sincerely, releasing a sigh of relief. "But I think you can let me down now."

"Sure you can run and carry Leorio the same time? At high speed?"

"What're you so scared of? You kept Hisoka at bay! That's awesome!"

I frowned. "I _wish_ I was that strong," I grumbled, letting him down, dumping Leorio's weight on the boy who didn't even stagger at the added weight. "Hisoka is way out of our league, best to stay away for now."

"How did you do it?" Gon asked curiously once we started running again.

"Ninja trick," I said sarcastically, scoffing. "Secrets, you know?"

Gon blinked. "You opened a portal for us to escape, we already know, what's to hide?"

I smirked.

That's what _you_ think.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

We reached two minutes before Hisoka.

Two minutes was enough for us to regulate our breathing, as if we hadn't been running like crazy to beat Hisoka to the finishing line.

I stood between Kurapika (who had reached here with Killua) and Gon, studying the faces. I ignored Tonpa's irritated glare directed my way and tried not to meet Glitturack and Hisoka's disturbing looks thrown my way.

So much for not drawing attention.

I glanced back at Leorio who was leaning against the tree, groaning as he came back to the world of the living. "How're you doing?" I asked distractedly, studying every face critically. There were more than expected. Ugh.

"Feels like I lost a sumo match," Leorio groaned in response. "I must admit, I don't remember much after entering the marshes. Did I pass?"

"Yeah," Kurapika answered, inspecting our friend's wounds. "Except for your arm, everything seems fine."

Leorio scowled. "Of course I'll be pretty okay, what about my face?" he asked, the narcissistic side of him rising.

"Like shit," I muttered under my breath, catching Killua's smirk but didn't return it.

"Best not to tell him," Gon muttered.

"He'll find out on his own anyway," Kurapika agreed, standing up, turning just as the double doors creaked open. He frowned as the groans from inside increased in volume. "A monster?" he asked in wonder, taking a few steps forward.

I glanced at the very, very large man sitting behind a sexy woman. The woman had unusual teal hair and tied in four bunches; not much of a fashion sense, I thought snidely. I, at least, looked normal with a ponytail. The man was huge and was practically drooling.

"So, since my friend and I here are hungry, the theme for this test will be cooking! We're Gourmet Hunters, so your mission here is to satisfy our appetites by cooking, got it? You'll start by cooking plates my friend, big guy here, asks of you; then those who qualified will have to serve me."

"I bet she just came up with it on a whim," Killua muttered under his breath, hands shoved into his pocket. I noticed and hurriedly pulled my hands out of my own pocket lest he caught up on this habit we shared.

"I can't cook shit to save my life," Leorio grumbled. "What sort of test is this?"

"I didn't anticipate such a test," Kurapika commented thoughtfully.

"The meal I want is roast pork," Buhara said, drool clearly visible now and I cringed in disgust. Even Millu-nii wasn't like this when he was drop-dead hungry. "I don't care what sort of pork, I just want one from within the Biska Woods." He giggled in anticipation. "Let the Second Round of the Hunter Exams, begin!"

We shot off in one direction.

"Cool!" Leorio grinned. "That's real easy to cook!"

"Yeah, that's why we must hurry, he'll be quicker and easier to satisfy and we'll lose our chance once he's full," Kurapika said just as we came skidding to a halt.

I took a step back. "Whoa," Killua muttered. "They're huge."

"Not as big as the proctor," Kurapika observed. "I read somewhere that their heads are their weakpoint—I mean, run, they're coming!"

I scaled the tree pretty quickly, glancing down as the pigs started charging us. I dropped down, bringing my foot down in a crushing kick. I saw, from the corner of my eyes, Killua kicking one, Gon repeating the same thing I did, and Kurapika who used his wooden swords on them.

"I'll start a fire!" Leorio said, trying to cover up the fact that he hadn't killed anything.

"Can we have some before presenting it to the judge?" I wondered but Kurapika shook his head firmly. I sighed. "Fine, but you guys are carrying these pigs back. I'll be there to present one of course."

"You're more than capable," Gon said. "Why do you need our help?"

"Look at me, how can my delicate hands handle such weight?" I scoffed. "The pig stinks, no way am I going any where near it." Despite my ex-occupation as an assassin, I hated dirt. Only my hands were dirty by blood when I killed, I hated germs and dirt and speaking of which, this forest was killing me.

"Let's hurry back," I suggested when I saw a guy running past us, pork on his broad shoulders. I drew a coin from my sleeve, flicking it in the man's direction without looking, ignoring his cry of pain as he crumpled, unable to comprehend that a small pebble had hit his pulse, silencing him forever.

"Where did you learn that?" Killua inquired sharply, hope practically shining in his eyes.

"My grandfather," I replied. "He's what you could call a Blacklist Hunter, guy knows how to kill with a flick of his finger. Not one to be trifled with, and who knows, you might meet him soon."

Killua scowled, frustrated, as if he couldn't believe I was keeping up this charade.

Personally, I had no idea why I maintained this facade either; we both knew who I truly was. I hated to admit it but it was because of my cowardice. I still wasn't ready to face the Zoldycks. I still wasn't brave enough to confront them, face-to-face and demand why they wanted me dead.

It still stung, it hurt a lot that they never cared and I'd rather think such than to know for certain that they hated me.

So, what if I was stalling and running away despite how impossible it was?

I turned away from Killua's penetrating stare, wishing I could run and never look back.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"If your grandfather had been the proctor instead," drawled Killua sarcastically, arms crossed behind his head. "would he have let us pass the Second Exam so easily?"

I scowled at him. "That's just the first part," I said. "the second part is led by Menchi-san, she's not going to let us pass as easily as Buhara-san did. You better watch your back."

"What's that chick's problem?" Leorio asked, frowning.

"Menchi, the one-star Gourmet Hunter; she's one of those Gourmet Hunters who believes you can express your artistic ability through cooking. She possesses an unstoppable desire to taste every food in the world, and she never forgets something she's tasted only once," I grumbled.

"How do you know so much about her?"

"She's very famous in the Hunter world, especially to Gourmet Hunters," I said but before anyone could ask more, Menchi spoke up.

"Here's my order: make me sushi! The Second Phase of the Second Hunter Exam, begin!"

Killua glanced at me. "What's sushi?"

I swallowed my embarrassment, pride choking me as I spat out, "I have no idea, either."

"You all seem bothered," noted Menchi, smirking. "Don't worry, you can still make them even if you've never seen them. It's a small traditional island dish. Look over there, you'll be cooking there! Everything is all set up, the essential ingredient, rice, is already prepared! One last thing: I only accept handmade sushi so no cheating! You can make as many as you like but once I'm full, it's over."

Gon ushered us over to a cooking station, puzzling over the ingredients as he scooped up a spoonful of rice. "Do you think we only use rice?"

Killua picked up a knife which gleamed. "Judging by the cooking ware, I doubt it," he sighed.

"I've read about them," Kurapika whispered. "We add white vinegar and dressing to the rice which we mix with fish eventually... I think, well—"

"Fish?" Leorio echoed loudly. "Where the heck do we get that in the middle of the fucking forest—"

"Why don't you speak louder, you moron?!" Kurapika flung the spoon in the taller man's face, enraged.

I scowled heavily, stepping out of the way as people charged past me, determination burning in their eyes. "They were all spying on us," I grumbled. "Great job, Leorio."

I rushed after the boys. "Sushi can only be made with saltwater fish," I said, recalling one of the cooking lessons I had been through these few years and had came up as a Z-ranked cook. "We can't make traditional cooking, as she'd asked—are you guys even listening? Ugh."

Gon came running back to us; I blinked, I didn't even realize he had ran ahead of us. He was soaking wet but he held a bunch of fish up for us to see, grinning madly.

"Come on!"

Sighing, I turned and ran back to the cooking station where Leorio had wisely waited for us to get his share of fish. I glanced at Gon's hands, noting that he had brought about a dozen or so.

Smart.

"I'm the first to finish!" Leorio cried triumphantly, cupping his dish, and shoving me out of the way.

I nearly chopped off my own fingers. Before I could fling the knife at his head, Menchi flung his dish of 'sushi' into the sky, the inedible food splattering to the grass.

I sneered. "Serves you right."

"Shut up, brat!" He turned back to the proctor. "And you—have you got no manners? That's a complete waste! Who taught you how to throw food like that, huh!"

"You failed, so shut up," Menchi retorted, unaffected by the yelling. "**H**urry back to your momma," she mocked. She turned back to the contestants, ignoring Leorio's seething. "Listen all of you, the shape is very important! A shapeless sushi can't be good!"

"Who cares about shape?" Killua muttered, slicing the fish into strips. I glanced at my own strips of fish but before I could throttle him for copying me, Gon stepped up.

"My turn," he declared optimistically. Menchi took one glance and flung it about as high as Leorio's dish.

"It's as bad as #403!"

Killua snorted in laughter as Gon echoed her words dejectedly. "As bad as Leorio's?" he moaned.

Kurapika placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't take it too hard, Gon."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leorio grumbled.

"So, what's next?" Killua glanced quizzically at my ingredients.

I glanced at the seaweed slung on his shoulder. "Why did you put it there?"

Killua blinked, glancing at his own shoulder. "Oh, I was sweating so I used it as a makeshift towel—"

"It's an ingredient," Kurapika said while Gon gagged in the background. "What will the proctor think?" In the background, I heard Menchi's whines and the numerous rejects. Kurapika frowned, inspecting the tableware. "She's holding a pair of chopsticks, and there's a little saucer not larger than an egg."

"How about this?"

I glanced at Killua. He'd shoved vinegar-rice into a seaweed-made cone, like an ice-cream and shove the rest of the fish inside. "Give it to her, then," I muttered.

"What the heck is this?!" Menchi roared, slapping the cone-sushi out of Killua's hand. "I'm not asking you for an ice-cream!" Kurapika stepped forward next, with an extra small, seriously no larger than an egg, sort of fish wrapped with rice and seaweed.

"It's no better than #403!" Rejected, I thought, smirking.

"That's insulting!" Leorio cried.

I stuck my foot out, tripping Hanzo who cried out in anger. "Hey!" He knew how to make sushi, and I wasn't going to lose; I glanced at the spilled food, noting its shape before it had taken a fall. As for the taste...

I bundled up the sushi, carefully, slowly, applying Hatsu.

It'd be enough to fool her sense of taste. I smirked, I'm definitely acing this test. Menchi growled at me, ready to snap about the wrongness of an ideal sushi but she quieted down slightly when she saw the illusion.

In truth, it was naught but a cone like Killua's. She reached out to take the plate but someone's hand shot out to grabbed my own. I glared up at the offending pale hand, to the shoulder it was attached to, and finally, the owner's face.

"Let go," I growled, trying to rip my hand out of Hisoka's grip. What was his problem?

"I saw her, judge," he blabbed cheerfully. "She applied Hatsu."

Menchi scowled. "Remove it," she snapped at me.

I dropped the plate, the porcelain shattering upon impact and the supposedly perfect-looking sushi revealed to be nothing but a cone like Killua's. Her eyes narrowed in contemplation, but then flared in anger.

"You tried to trick me with the looks! Why you little—!"

"You would've let me passed if you'd tasted that crap," I shot back, peeling the asshole's fingers off my forearm; damn him, he ruined my perfect plan. I forgot that there were more skilled Nen-users here. "I didn't just alter the look."

"Out, brat!" She turned to Hisoka. "And you, what the heck do you have?!"

Her attention on Hisoka's dish didn't even last a second. "That's even worse than hers!" I understood: Hisoka's cooking consisted of nothing but minced fish and rice thrown together, more like a serving of fish with rice instead of sushi. "Get out of my sight, both of you!"

I wrenched my arm from his grasp and stormed up to where my gang was gathered.

"Don't even mention it," I grumbled when I heard Leorio's muffled snort, kicking a pebble out of the way. "You failed too!"

He wasn't the only one; all of us failed.

"So," Leorio mumbled awkwardly as a fat guy went flying. "this is it? We'll just have to come back next year?"

"Why not?" I shrugged. "We have a lot of time in the world."

"Hopefully," Killua added. "we won't have to face someone as unreasonable as her next year."

"I heard that you little brat!" Menchi whirled on our group, drawing pretty much everyone's attention to us. "Perhaps you underestimate me when I said I was a Gourmet Hunter, you think we just stay in the kitchen all day and cook? That's what chefs do! We're Hunters as well, and we fight too! And you'll need to learn how to fight no matter what type of Hunter you want to be! The purpose of this test is to see how to fare in domain not of your own!"

_**"That's one explanation, but does it justify such severity?"**_

I glanced up just as someone jumped off-board and landed on the ground before us. Literally. Gon blinked at the sight of the old man not one feet further from us.

"Who's _that_?"

The Chairman's brown eyes twinkled with mirth as he inspected us before landing on me. I was ready to shrivel back. "You didn't introduce me?"

"You know him?" Leorio glanced incredulously at me.

"Not going to greet me?" The old man pouted. "Come on, address me properly."

"Yes," I scratched my cheek awkwardly. "It's good to see you here..."

I bit my lip.

"...Grandfather."

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

**QUESTION:** Concerning Ria and old Chairman's relation, well, how do you think it developed?

**(Beta's Answer) Arii-hime**: Ooh man, that's a tough one...I can't really think of a proper explanation! Did Beyond Netero adopt her? Since it mentioned that she faked her own death and she calls him Grandfather...that's just me taking it in a literal sense, though n.n I'll have to go back and read the earlier chapters of this, it was really interesting and engaging and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

**REVIEW**

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	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I OWN nothing but my OC, Illyria and whatever OCs that had/and might show up in the future; Hunter x Hunter belongs to its rightful owner.

**Warning(s):** Violence. Language.

* * *

Crying Wolf

Chapter X

I glared as the old man patted my head.

Wonderful; my skin prickled with goosebumps. I knew everyone's attention was on me and one thing I did not like was being in the center of attention.

"My granddaughter here," Old Man yelled as if everyone was blind or deaf, "said she could beat every one of you with her eyes closed! She welcomes every challenge and even if you hurt her, I won't do anything to you, she's just like every other contestant here, free picking!"

My jaw dropped. I said no such thing!

That was practically bait for Hisoka and Illumi to gut me, knowing that they won't have any powerful old men after their backs.

"Now, as for you, Menchi..."

Leorio spoke up first—as usual—without the usual disrespect and condescending tone in his voice. "Wow, really?"

"You can't believe everything he says!" I hissed even as Killua pulled me into another direction; belatedly, I realized that everyone was heading towards the airship. "He's bullshiting, I'm telling you, like usual—"

"Is it all right to speak like that to your grandfather?" Kurapika asked, frowning.

"When I'm talking behind his back, yes," I paused. "Not one of you will say anything, will you?"

"No," Killua drawled. "So, paternal gramps or maternal one?"

"Paternal," I said. The partial truth, I didn't know my real mother's side of the family. "He's a Hunter too, but not very famous. Well, not as famous as Old Man but he's—" The airship shook and I slunk down the wall, suddenly green, tired and woozy. "Blargh," I muttered. "Another time, let's talk another time—urk."

"You're... you've got motion sickness?"

I accepted the bottle Kurapika handed, nodding.

"Yeah," I muttered, gulping down water. "I thought I could live with cars, but when I sat in a car for a dozen hours straight, I just... no, nuh-uh, can't handle it anymore. Then I experienced the completely terrible way of transport known to mankind as air-travel. Thirty minutes is all I can take, plus, I'm not too fond of heights."

"Any reason for that?"

I grimaced. "I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled, gagging. "and—urk, get me a bucket!"

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Needless to say, I was the first person off the plane.

I did not walk or even run there, I jumped right out of the window even before we landed. I got some odd looks when the others landed but no one dared to say anything. I caught a glimpse of Tonpa's suddenly pale face, and I smirked; maybe being publicly known as the Chairman's granddaughter (untrue) wasn't too bad after all.

Then, walking a little ways behind Tonpa was Hisoka.

I turned away; being the Chairman's granddaughter was terrible.

I edged closer to the boys in hopes that Hisoka would entertain himself with Gon instead of trying to drill fear out of me with his amber eyes.

I thought he actually liked Gon.

"What does she want us to do?" I asked when gasps and murmurs of disbelief rippled through the crowd.

"She wants to make boiled eggs, but not just any eggs," Kurapika pointed towards where the chasm yawned at us. "Tarantula eggs that only grow, well, down there."

"Who suggested this test?" I growled, already knowing who.

"Uh, your grandfather," Kurapika coughed. "I suppose he knows that you're terrified of heights?"

I shot him a brief glare. "How did she get up anyway? Climb?"

"No, she shot up suddenly," Leorio's brows knitted in confusion even as he made such an observation. "Is that some sort of magical powers Hunters get?"

Kurapika scoffed. "No way," he said. "she was blown up by the wind."

"Hey, that's easy!"

Killua shot him a wry look. "I don't think so." He glanced at Kurapika. "We have to wait for the right time, no? And, unfortunately, not many of us can tell."

"I can smell it!" Gon announced proudly. "I can also hear it!"

"Quiet down," I grumbled, tilting my head to the side to hear better, "there's a river down there. The currents are unforgiving, if we ever fell, we'd either be swept away miles from here or smashed against rocks down there."

"Not a bad deal," Killua remarked.

Gon grinned. "Come on!"

We jumped.

Instinctively, I grabbed Killua's arm for support, suddenly dizzy from vertigo.

He didn't disappoint, he squeezed my hand reassuringly and released it the moment we had to grab onto the threads. "Just don't look down if you're scared!" he yelled to me.

"Shut up!" I yelled back, aware of the sudden drop of Hunter hopefuls around us. "Don't tell the whole wide world!"

I heard Killua's laughter even as the torrent of wind blew around us. I heard the mellifluous sound bounced around the chasm and frowned.

"How much longer, Gon?"

"A little longer," the wild boy responded, staring seriously downwards. I was tempted to glance down to see what had captivated him so, but for the sake of myself, I chose not to glance down lest I lose my nerves.

"Well?" Leorio demanded, seeing a few guys free fall downwards. He glanced at the silky threads. "It's snapping!" he yelled in alarm. "What do we do now?!"

"We don't have time to wait, let's do it!" One idiotic guy yelled, loosening his hold and falling. Many joined him, but some smart ones—I saw Hanzo, Tonpa, Hisoka, Illumi, Badaro, Pokkle, Ponzu and a dozen more—hung on, and glanced expectantly at us.

They knew Gon could tell when was the right time.

I smirked slightly: it was time to eliminate the useless ones. Carefully, I wove a delicate illusion about us, quietly slipping my Nen into their body, mingling with their own aura and mixing the nerves up, especially the impulses sent to the brain.

Half a dozen participants fell, ensnared by the illusion that was Gon and the right time. I was mildly disappointed neither Hisoka nor Illumi fell for it; Glitturack didn't even spare me a glance, but Hisoka smirked at me, as if he was mocking my failure.

I would've growled and carved another illusion just for him but Gon's voice broke through my train of thought.

I released my hold the same time Killua grabbed my arm and pulled me down.

I yelped. "Don't do such a thing again," I warned, slightly miffed.

"Grab an egg!" Killua yelled back in response.

His warning was sound; I barely remembered having to do such a thing and I reached out for one, fortunately, I caught the last one in the nest.

I nearly crushed the egg in my hold when the wind pulled at my cheeks and clothes; I shuddered at the cold air and the rising goosebumps, fighting the urge to puke in midair.

That would be disgusting.

So much for being a talented assassin.

I stiffened when the river came into view. I heard Leorio's gasp at the sight of bloodied, fresh new corpses down there. The body of Hunter hopefuls who'd missed the river and had met hard ground instead. Some were twitching and bleeding, still alive.

The Examination Community would pick them up, I knew the procedure, but didn't think it was important to tell Kurapika and Leorio who were praying for their safe journey to the afterlife.

My lips curled wryly, momentarily forgetting that I was close to joining them. _Well, friends, I can tell you what the afterlife's like._

The stinging on my cheek intensified ten times as I was blown upwards. I held the egg to my chest, shielding it with my arms as best as I could lest it cracked.

I, as expected, was the first to scramble to firm ground, far, far away from the cliff of doom.

That old geezer was fucking sadistic! No mercy even for his so-called granddaughter! What a jerk!

I wiped the cold sweat of my chin, cradling the egg in my lap. "So much trouble for an egg," I grumbled. I wanted to add that it wasn't worth it but with Menchi eyeing me critically, I didn't dare to say anything.

"Let's cook it," Killua suggested needlessly.

"...Un."

As we walked after the others, I felt a strange sort of warmth in my hand.

I glanced down and had to swallow the smile at our joined hands.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

When Killua suddenly stormed into our shared room, face dark and eyes narrowed into pissed-off slits, I could sense trouble and I just knew who had provoked him.

I sighed, dumping the cards I held in hand (revealing the Joker) for Leorio, Kurapika and Gon to see. I glanced at Killua wryly. "What did the old man do this time?" I asked, pushing a stray bang out of my face.

"You, Gon, Leorio, Kurapika, me—room one-oh-eight, now!"

I sprang to my feet. "What does he want?"

"Hurry up!" Killua barked.

Leorio glanced at me, curious. "What's his problem?"

I scratched my cheek awkwardly, unable to meet their eyes, and I was completely ignoring how Killua was bashing his head repeatedly against the wall, snarling curses under his breath. "My grandfather has the bad habit of, um, making people mad... and crazy, like how Killua is now."

"And he wants to see us," Leorio twitched uneasily. "Will we live? Like, coming out sane and alive?"

"Sure," I said. "as long as you ignore everything he says. But then again, I don't think he's out to get you. Just Killua."

"Any particular reason why?" Kurapika inquired coolly as he packed his bag, carefully storing the pack of cards he had and dumping it in a corner of our room.

"Just a simple game, I'm sure."

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Approximately seven hours later, I was not sure anymore.

Instead of a simple game, it had turned into a battlefield.

Leorio who had the weakest stamina and was overall the weakest had passed out on the floor. I glanced at where Kurapika was crouching, his form was trembling with tremendous fatigue. I glanced at where the other two boys were still jumping about to get the ball.

I was starting to get very frustrated.

We had been at it for hours and neither had wanted to give up. Whatever they were whispering to one another just now had fueled them for hours straight.

Those boys sure are something, I thought, slumping onto the ground. Kurapika had just announced defeat with the utmost shame and tired out, I repeated the same words of defeat.

I had teamed up with each of them and had failed at getting the ball.

Leorio and Gon had paired up as well, but those two with the least IQ just tired themselves out and got their asses handed back to them. Neither Killua nor I wanted to partner with Leorio to begin with and Kurapika lost his patience midway.

Kurapika was a fine partner but we just didn't sync, Gon and I just got in one another's way, then there was Killua who I worked best with. We failed at any rate.

Killua and Gon had teamed up and were still going strong.

I was envious of their inhumane amount of stamina, and I was also jealous that they still had a long way to go before they were maxed out.

"Why don't you guys just give up and rest?" Kurapika called tiredly; and I agreed with him, I was feeling even more tired when I saw them working so hard to get the damned ball. "We can just get our Hunter license the long way."

"You don't get it!" Killua yelled back. "It's my sister we're talking about!"

I stiffened.

"What sister?" Kurapika yelled back. He scoffed, sighed then sprang to his feet.

I glanced at him incredulously. "You're going to try again?"

"No," he said with the same amount of incredulity. "I'm leaving. You coming? Help me with Leorio."

I glanced back at the two spiky-haired boys, sighed and decided that this was too painful to watch; I better leave, I'm sure those guys had a personal discussion with one another.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"You have a very interesting brother."

I frowned at the Old Man's remark, glancing up from where I was munching on my lemon bread. "I have no brother," I grumbled, rubbing the bleariness from my eyes; I was no morning person and the Old Man's too cheery mood wasn't something I could cope with now.

"Why did you approach him anyway?"

Old Man shrugged, passing me a bottle of orange juice which I took. I sniffed it cautiously for poison before I took a sip. I could practically feel Old Man rolling his eyes but he chuckled.

"He was the one who approached me. I must say, he's an excellent liar. He may look like he's having the time of his life, but deep down, he's so frustrated he killed innocent participants and threatened to kill me."

I blinked, suddenly feeling more alert.

"_What?_"

"I assumed that he's frustrated with you," Old Man answered. "you clearly knew who he was and yet, you actively deny his claims. Come to think of it, what are you afraid of exactly?"

I grunted. "No. 44 and No. 99—that pin guy, remember him, mhm, he's big brother Illumi in disguise."

"So? You're stronger than before, I'm sure you can hold your own."

It felt nice to hear the praise, it was rare to hear coming from him. My mood lightened a little. "Well, no, at least, I don't think so—he's definitely—"

"Your problem," Old Man interrupted, voice serious. "is that you overestimate your opponent and underestimate yourself. You expect the worst in every situation, you give up before trying, just assume an outcome without proof. That is a serious bad habit, you must overcome it."

I scowled. "Easy for you to say."

"Is four years not enough for you to get rid of it?" he shot back.

My scowl deepened. "Look, it isn't as easy as you think. At least, my brother's even worse than me. I'm working on it, okay? Stop pestering me."

"Someday," Old Man mused, voice further from where he originally was, a sign that he was leaving and I stood as well, following him. "you'll have to face him."

"I know," I said unhappily. "I can't run from him forever."

We descended the stairs together, in silence, allowing the tranquil morning to calm our raging souls.

Then the stares came.

I stiffened, falling back and allowing my foster grandfather to walk ahead first. I hated those stares whenever I was with Grandfather.

Yes, I knew that I wasn't his real granddaughter and that he might just be using me to amuse himself for a short while. But I still hated those stares that doubted me. As if I was a liar, trying to gain power through an old man. They were wrong. Supposedly, it was the other way around.

Even if we were in a deal, I'd definitely gotten the shorter end.

But, then again, my luck had always been terrible.

"Is something wrong?" Old Man asked, brown eyes twinkling—not with kindness, no.

I brushed him off. "Nothing," I murmured.

He had done enough for me, I had nothing more to ask of him and it was time to return home anyway.

The moment I landed on the tall, tall, tower, I felt vulnerable.

I was alone, without the company of the boys as we'd been in different rooms (in the end, despite saying that he wasn't biased, Old Man insisted I have a room of my own) and I felt as if everyone was seeing through me, my weakness, insecurities, everything.

Killua, I wanted him here now.

He was my older brother (even though it was only by mere minutes), he would protect me—

_(like how illumi did such a fine job?)_

I gritted my teeth in anger, the hurt of his betrayal hadn't been wiped clean by time, and damn, the twisting in my chest always got in the way whenever I was about to make a decision or to place my trust in someone.

_(after all, how do i know he won't betray me?)_

That's right. I won't know what's going on in that guy's head until it's too late; it would be better to not trust him in the first place. And my mistake of trusting Illumi would forever remain a scar in my heart, soul and mind; it'd never ever be gone.

I always had that problem: the inability to move on from something completely. If it was humiliation, I probably could forget it by doing many glorious things, but I could never forget a betrayal.

I glanced down at where I could hear an echo.

I had found a trapdoor.

I inhaled sharply, tensing my muscles and I jumped.

I'd ace this test by myself.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait, my beta's taking a while and I was busy with other stories. The next chap will be up in a few days - definitely way faster than this took to get out.

**QUESTION:** Guests asked me who Illyria should be paired with and when I asked in the first chapter, many responded that you needed a good grasp of her character first. Could you judge now? Not necessarily I will add in romance, maybe, I'll just add a few mentions at the end of the story.

I have plans to write a Hunter x Hunter future fic, what do you say?

REVIEW

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**Warnings:** Violence. Death. Language.

**Beta: **Arii-hime.

**Author:** Me.

* * *

Crying Wolf

Chapter XI

I landed on all fours, was offered only a few seconds to react before I jumped out of the way.

I rolled out of the way, crouching as I inspected the place where I last stood. Had I been there, I would've been impaled by... tarot cards.

Oh my God, of all people in the Hunter Exams—it had to be him?

I wanted to kill the Old Man for setting this up. I didn't know how great his influence was, but lately, every misfortune in my way seems to have something to do with him.

I hoped that this wasn't the fight-to-the-death sort of battle to advance; I wasn't that ready to die yet. My Ten flared but Hisoka merely chuckled, licking his card.

I grimaced.

"Don't worry," he said, not reassuring me at all. "I'm not looking for a fight," he paused, "at least, not now." He smiled creepily. "I was getting bored with no company but baldy anyway."

I glanced to where he was pointing, and scowled.

Hanzo was glaring and pouting at Hisoka, but when he saw me, his attempts to be friendly went down the drain. "You!" he yelled. "You're the one who tripped me during the Second Hunter Exam!"

"You noticed?" I was truly mystified. But then, recalling his statement, I added, "I thought you're a ninja. Aren't ninjas supposed to be aware of their surroundings?"

Illyria Zoldyck: one point. Hanzo: nil.

Hanzo growled, looking like he might want to throttle me or propose a battle now, but then he sighed in defeat. "Look, I know we started on the wrong foot—"

"Bad pun," Hisoka snickered, shuffling his cards.

"—but to pass this test, we need to work together."

I frowned. "How so?"

This time, Hisoka stepped away from where he was obscuring the narrow hallway. I peered past him, seeing mechanisms attached to the wall, and approached it.

I jabbed the buttons on the dead machine randomly. "What's this for?"

"I'm not too attuned to technology," Hanzo muttered, somewhat embarrassed, scratching his bald head sheepishly. "So, what about you guys?"

Hisoka hummed, peering over my shoulder, then, before I could say _don't be stupid_, he pressed the red button. The one with the skull. Even Hanzo who had no knowledge of modern technology, blanched.

"Isn't that dangerous?" he asked.

Hisoka shrugged. "We've got to take chances sometimes, no?"

"No!" I yelled, slamming my fists down onto the myriad of buttons, jabbing them randomly for an off-button when the machines started bleeping like crazy.

_**Participants refuse to advance, proceeding to self-destruct... Countdown beginning... 20... 19... 18...**_

My eyebrow twitched when I heard that almost bored, mechanical female voice announced this casually to us. With calmness that I did not know I had, I choked out, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Hanzo blinked, confused. "Um, is something going to happen?"

"_Well?_"

Hisoka beamed, not at all disturbed. "It's not unusual to make mistakes in one's lifetime."

Before I could throttle him, Hanzo shouted out in alarm. "The room's going to explode with us in it?!"

"Yes," I hissed. "Which part of 'self-destruct' did you not understand?"

"We have to run!" Hanzo yelled instantly. He looked around wildly for an escape route.

"But, _where_?"

Hisoka had the gall to ask that, if he hadn't pushed anything, messed with something he didn't know about, we wouldn't even be in this situation! I was about to point that out and demand compensation when Hanzo interjected.

"My ninja training had taught me to carve a path when there is none to be found... First we must remain calm, think rationally and..."

_**7... 6... 5...**_

"We're going to die!" Hanzo shrieked in despair.

"But we were just getting to the good part," Hisoka pointed out.

I elbowed him, pushing and hitting randomly on the brick walls, searching for an opening. There had to be a way. With Kou, I could easily destroy this and get out of here. The problem was the radius, how far would the fire spread?

_**4... 3... 2...**_

No time, I thought as I charged 85% of aura into my hand and unleashed it.

The walls crumbled as I pulled the guys to their feet and forced them to make a run for it. This was to test our teamwork and no matter how much we disliked one another, we, as future Hunters, must learn to work together.

_**1... zero...—**_

"Are we going to make it?" Hisoka wondered, unperturbed even as he tore ahead of us. That selfish little piece of ass. Ugh!

"Just," I tensed, spreading and distributing Ten all over my body for defense. I glanced at Hisoka briefly, seeing his body surrounded by aura as well. I glanced back at where Hanzo was running like crazy and paled when I realized he didn't know how to use Nen.

"_Run!_"

Hot, searing fire burned my back as darkness claimed me.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I groaned as I came to.

I rolled onto my back and hissed slightly when my smarting wound reminded me that I had a terrible burn behind me. I grimaced, turning back onto my front and propping myself up on my elbows, blinking to gain better sight.

I waited impatiently as my eyes adjusted to the darkness.

I saw Hanzo's shiny bald head from a few meters away from me. I spread my Zetsu, sensing Hisoka a little ways in front of us and that all of us were alive.

What happened? I was sure I used Nen to protect myself—oh, right.

Hanzo couldn't use Nen and I had pulled him in front of me, shielding him with my own Ken. Then? Yes, the bomb had been set up all along the hallway. I couldn't remember in detail what had happened, but I was sure I could live without the wound.

I tried to stand but I crumpled back onto the ground. Dizzy, I glanced down, blanching when I saw a pool of dried blood under me.

So, this was it?

Death by blood loss?

Pathetic, I thought, pushing myself up into a sitting position. I tore the torn off hoodie off my back, flinging it onto Hanzo's head. It smacked his head soundly and he groaned, awakening.

I stomp forward, kicking Hisoka in the ribs when I heard his loud snore.

That asshole looked unscathed sans a few small cuts and bruises. "Wake up, asshole! This is all your fault, you're not going to make us fail too!"

Hisoka opened one eye, smirking. "I know, that's why I let you kick me without retaliating."

I would've gone red with rage had I had enough blood left in my body. My legs trembled from the severe blood loss; I wondered how long I could last.

"Damn," I heard Hanzo's curse as he stared at my back. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Yes," I hissed venomously. "It does and I'm sure I'm dying from blood loss."

"We can't have that," Hisoka mused, pushing himself up into a sitting position, looking as if he had all the time in the world. "Can we?"

I wanted to retort, but all that came out was a garbled curse as I crumpled to the ground in a bloody heap. I hissed in pain. Then, just as I was about to pass out from the pain, I felt something sticky on my back, the gooey texture sticking on my back, stemming the blood.

Dazed, I turned. "Wha..." I turned to Gyo, seeing Hisoka's hand lighting up with pinkish aura and a string of Nen connecting with my back. He pulled and I was hauled up to my feet. I swooned, dizzy as I muttered cusses to the guy. Stumbling some, I clutched onto Hanzo's arm, blinking the spots out of my eyes. "Let's get going. Ugh."

"Lead the way," Hisoka said cheerfully, trailing behind me and holding me up as I walked.

My pace was about as slow as a snail's but neither male complained about my sluggish pace. I grabbed blindly, smacking against a loose rock and pushing. Trick Tower lives up to its name, I had a feeling that the self-destruct button Hisoka had pushed was exactly what we needed to advance. Of course, I would never admit that to him.

The wall slid open easily.

I trooped my way in, rubbing my eyes to stay conscious as we came to another device that looked remarkably similar to the one at the entrance. "Don't touch anything," I warned the guys when they peered over my shoulder.

This time, there was a new black button by the red self-destruct button's side. I jabbed it and, as expected, the screen whirred to life.

_**Do you wish to proceed?**_

I gnashed my teeth together in irritation. What sort of question was that? Ugh. I jabbed '_enter_' and the doors slid open.

We came to a remarkably empty room. I probably would've inspected the place further if I wasn't too busy swooning and trying to clear my vision.

"This looks like a battle arena," Hanzo commented, walking about. Then, after a little distance away, stiffened. "Wait, does that mean we have to fight?" Both males glanced at me for decision.

I frowned, trying to push the pain away to think properly. I wouldn't put it past the Old Man to cook up this scheme to trouble me. But this was too predictable and Old Man was the definition of unpredictable.

"Ugh, whatever, go kill one another," I groaned, slumping down onto the ground.

"That includes you, you know?" Hisoka pointed out cheerfully, pulling on the string of Nen-made gum slightly, stressing my wound and I hissed in pain. "I would love to fight you, but you're too weak now and I want the thrill of fighting you when you're at your full strength."

I grounded my teeth together in frustration, desperately trying to operate my mind. I couldn't think straight and Hisoka was purposely tightening his hold on the gum, paining me even more, and I hissed again.

Just as I was about to snap, giving in to plain old instincts to kill every threat to me in sight, the walls shook. I stiffened, eyes snapping open, more alert now when I heard heavy footsteps.

Someone stepped forward. I could feel Hisoka's surprise as his hold on the gum loosened. "Oh, him?"

"You know him?" Hanzo asked, blinking curiously.

Hisoka hummed noncommittally. "I think so," he mused teasingly, mocking his opponent who obviously had a grudge against him. "Oh, but what was his name again?"

"Hisoka!" The large burly man roared in anger. I deemed him not a threat to me, even Hanzo could take him. He didn't know Nen, I couldn't sense any Nen from him.

I scoffed. He'd never defeat Hisoka. "Okay, go get him, Hanzo."

The bald ninja grinned, cracking his knuckles. "With pleasure!" he lunged despite the burly man's warning.

"I'm not here to fight you!" He glared at Hisoka. "I'm here to crush that man!"

"What's his name?"

"Togari, something," Hisoka answered, tapping his chin, mockingly thoughtful. "I think."

"Can you beat him?"

"Hm, I'm sure Baldy would be more than enough. Why do you ask—hey!"

His voice was the last thing I heard as I slumped down, unconscious.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

I didn't have the most pleasant of sleep; so, when I came to, I was yawning and would prefer to go back to sleep. I probably would have if I wasn't so astonished by the fact that whatever surface I was sleeping on was moving, jostling me unpleasantly, and the scent that invaded my nose.

I wrinkled my nose, pulling back at the scent of peaches.

Red filled my vision, I blinked, rubbing my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming. "Hisoka?"

"Good morning," The man replied cheerfully, slowing down, and alerting the other man to skid to a stop. Hanzo turned, grinning when he saw me conscious.

"What happened to that... uh, guy?"

"Dead," Hisoka replied cheerfully, offering me a blood-covered card. I made a disgusted face, shoving his hand away. "At any rate, we've been running for hours. And I was stuck carrying you, not that I would complain—"

"Enough," I snapped. "Now, put me down. I can walk fine on my own."

"I doubt it," Hanzo muttered under his breath but he helped me off Hisoka's back. The moment I stood on my feet, I had a hard time steadying myself, but I felt infinitely better than before.

I reached up, face flushing red when I saw the bandages on my chest. "What!?"

Hanzo coughed uncomfortably. "We have no other choice, the gum wasn't helping at all and we need to make it through together. Test of teamwork and all..."

"If it's any comfort to you," Hisoka said cheerfully. "I was the one who did it—"

I barely refrained from barfing; that was even more disturbing than to let Hanzo do it.

"—and it was dark anyway, I couldn't see very well—"

"Ugh, let's just go!" Scowling, face still very much red with anger and embarrassment, I shoved Hanzo out of the way and advanced.

I stopped, surprised when I stood on metal surface.

"It's an elevator," Hisoka remarked when he saw Hanzo's wide-eyed wonder.

"The thing that zoom straight down when people press a few buttons?" Hanzo's face lit up. "Awesome! We'll reach there easy!"

"It seems that we got the easy route out," Hisoka agreed.

I pressed the 'on' button, waiting impatiently as the machine whirred to life. I was wary, and my muscles were tense, ready to spring back and run if the thing chose to explode.

_**"Welcome to the final challenge of your test. To advance, you must answer each question correctly. If you get it wrong, you will have to wait for five minutes before advancing to the next question**__**—the time penalty increases every time you're wrong, so take note. Now, question number one..."**_

Hanzo shuffled his feet nervously. "I'm not... uh, I ain't the brightest crayon in the box."

"We know," Hisoka said, beaming.

"...what is the name of the Chairman's Vice Chairman?"

Hanzo waved a handy white flag. "I came here to hunt something, not learn the names of people I'd probably never meet."

Hisoka shrugged unhelpfully.

I scoffed, taping in the answer. _Pariston_.

_**"Correct! Now, name the ten most beautiful people in the world!"**_

"What!"

I was tempted to let out the same outburst as Hanzo, but decided not to. I massaged my temples, trying to stem the irritation and migraine threatening to take over.

"Ooh, let me try, I believe I know!" Before I could protest, Hisoka shoved me out of the way and started typing in his answer. I glanced over his shoulder to see what he had typed in.

Why was I so surprised to see him name himself top?

_**"Wrong! Please wait five minutes before pressing enter. Should you violate the rules, you shall be stuck here for-ever!"**_

The ridiculous questions didn't stop there. There were of many variety and we barely answered right. We got so many answers wrong, I suspected we had been in the elevator for hours. I could see no end and I was starting to get claustrophobic with the black walls and no end in sight.

By the fourth hour (Hanzo was counting the seconds), even Hisoka looked frustrated. Fortunately, before I could use Kou to get us out, the last question came.

_**"In your group of three, who is the one you want to protect?"**_

Me? _Hanzo_.

Hanzo? _Me_.

Hisoka? _Me and himself_.

I was mildly surprised. They could've chosen to protect themselves, but I knew this wasn't a test to prove our honesty, but to test our teamwork.

The surface beneath us retracted and I yelped when we tumbled down. It was a slide, and was undoubtedly the most unpleasant of transports I had been on before in my life.

I landed on a hot, metallic netted surface.

I grimaced, pushing myself up, opened my eyes and blanched.

Beneath me was a chasm full of lava. I was mildly surprised the lava hadn't melted the walls, but then again, there were many inexplicable things within Trick Tower. That wasn't all; just as I started crawling away from the pit, the wall came crashing down.

Hanzo blanched. "What on earth!"

"Run!" I yelled but really, I was just wasting my breath; the guys were already running. I wasted no time myself to sprint towards the exit—

I cried out as the net gave away.

I was sure I'd die but before I could melt away, something sticky latched onto my arm and pulled me up. I had never been so thankful to have Hisoka in my team before.

I stumbled back, landing on my bum once I reach steady and cool surface.

"I'm alive," I wheezed out in relief. Grudgingly, seeing Hisoka's face, I added, "Thank you."

"You owe me one."

"Whatever," I scoffed, standing and brushing the dust off my pants. I glanced at the door up the stairs. "We're at the end," I said. "I could feel no other threats."

"No traps either," Hanzo confirmed. "I already checked the perimeter."

"Are you reliable?" Hisoka mocked.

I ignored them, stepping forward.

Time to go.

* * *

**Question:** What sort of person does Illyria strike you as?

**REVIEW**

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**Warnings:** Violence. Death. Language.

**Beta:** Arii-hime.

* * *

**Crying Wolf**

**Chapter Twelve**

I tugged on my torn shirt, trying to cover more of my exposed navel, but it was useless anyway. We were the first to arrive, as expected. My name was listed first, Hisoka was second and Hanzo came in third. I felt no sense of accomplishment; rather, complete and utter rage.

How could I have been so careless?

Ugh, now I had to deal with the wound.

The pain was a pest I couldn't get rid of; even after leaving Kukuroo Mountain, I still went through torture training. I wasn't about to lag behind in my pain resistant training, but since I was the one setting my own training regime, I slacked off a lot.

My pain resistance wasn't as great as I'd hoped.

Sure, I could endure the pain but I couldn't possibly stem the consequences of such a large wound. Seconds flew by, minutes crawled, and hours lingered.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, burying my face in them, trying to ignore the increasing pain in my back.

Times like these, I wanted the Old Man to play favorites and send a medic team to help. Every time I shifted, I could feel the bandages shifting along, brushing my wound, and it sent nothing but pain shrieking through my nerves.

My Nen flared in panic, momentarily, when I felt Illumi's approaching Nen.

I glanced warily at Hisoka who was building a mountain of cards, then at Hanzo who was doing push-ups. Hanzo wouldn't stand a chance and I don't think Hisoka would have much reason to help me.

I hunched in on myself when I realize how utterly alone I was.

Pallid skin and raven hair and eyes were the emblem of death for me. I cringed slightly when I saw Glitturack. Hisoka barely glance up at him, merely nodded and gave a little wave before he went back to his game of cards. Hanzo blinked and cringed when he saw Glitturack's hideous face.

Yeah, well, that disguise was definitely better than Illumi's real face.

Not that his real face was uglier, just... crueler, unbearable for me.

My hackles were rising, I feared that I might pull out that forbidden card if I kept this up. Glitturack tilted his head mechanically when he saw me, but shrugged and left, wandering to a corner of his own. He didn't seem like he cared about us, but my skin prickled.

He was watching me.

I refrained from trembling. I closed my eyes, desperately trying to shove his cruel, cruel face away.

I must've succeeded in distracting myself, because the next time my eyelids drooped, they didn't open.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

* * *

"Noel!" Someone was shaking me very roughly, painfully. But the name was wrong. Who was he calling? I frowned, about to bat the hand away when he called my name. "Ria?"

I jerked awake, the darkness swallowed by light.

Killua was crouching before me, brows furrowed in concern; steely anger crossed his blue eyes when he saw my torn shirt and wound.

"What happened in the tower?"

I frowned at him, glancing at his blistered hands. "What happened to you?"

"Had to dig our way out." Killua scowled. "But that doesn't explain what happened to you."

"Someone pressed a wrong button," I glared at Hisoka with no little discretion, "and the room exploded. I didn't make it out in time because some slowpokes insisted in being in front."

"Who were you with?"

"The joker and the bald ninja," I growled, letting my head fall limply into my arms. "Is this stage over yet or not?"

"Yes," Killua answered, gesturing to where the contestants crowded out. "Were you asleep for a few days?"

"Death Trance," I said, seeing his confused look. "A skill my Grandfather taught me. To recuperate while on guard."

He wrinkled his nose. "Eh, you sure?"

"Else, I would've been dead already." I grasped Killua's arm, pulling myself up with his help. He glanced at my torn shirt, then, to my surprise, pulled his white over-shirt off. "Here," he said, slipping it over my head, letting the material bunch around my neck.

I wriggled into his shirt, discarding my old one by ripping it away.

"Thanks," I mumbled, blushing for some unknown reason. I shuffled after him, rather embarrassed when I had to force myself to release my hold on the hem of his shirt.

Someone's hand dug into my shoulder. I glared when I saw Hisoka prodding me onward. "What?" I hissed, lowering my voice so that I wouldn't draw Killua's attention. He was chatting happily away with Gon and if I made any sound of distress, undoubtedly, he would start a scene here.

"We have to get our target's number," Hanzo said from behind Hisoka. "we'll be hunting one another in the next exam. And this determines who we have to hunt. From first to last, you first, Noel."

I blinked, stepping forward and I could see the looks of disbelief that I was the first to make it out of the Tower. I scowled when I heard the word favoritism but I wasn't that surprised.

"They're just jealous," Hanzo assured me when he saw my scowl.

I stalked over to Lippo, meeting his assessing stare head-on.

My hand trembled almost imperceptibly when I reached in the box. The box's sides glinted, recording who'd taken a card. I glanced back at the participants that had hidden their badges, only Hisoka kept his own and I realized belatedly that I had yet to hide it.

I glanced down at the number in hand.

I nearly fainted; my knees trembled, and my whole form was shuddering so badly I thought I was going to lose my grip on the paper which had helped me sign my death warrant.

I glanced up.

My target: no. 99, Glitturack—Illumi.

"Noel," Kurapika approached me first, concern in his eyes. "are you quite all right?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice but when Kurapika scowled at me, demanding a real answer, I managed to gather my voice to choke out, "Yes, what gave it away?"

"You went sheet white," Kurapika answered drily. "Is that not obvious enough? Who's your target?"

"An old enemy," I sighed. "I know I can't beat him."

"There are a number of ways to beat an opponent," Kurapika said, trying to reassure me. "If brawling is no use, you can always strike up a deal with him, or something."

"No," I said, sighing. "Thanks for trying to help, but it won't work. Not against him."

"Who's he anyway?"

I frowned. "It's best for you to not know."

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

* * *

"Seriously, who's the guy you're supposed to be fighting? Is he that terrible that you want us to face the storm, instead?"

I smirked wryly at Kurapika's dry humor. "It's not funny." As nice as Kurapika was, he had quite the insensitive sense of humor which I did not appreciate now. I sighed. "Either way, we're screwed."

"Just you," Kurapika said, ticking off his small list of things to be done. "My target is a wimp."

"Why don't we trade?"

"It's no use," The Kuruta said unsympathetically. "they already recorded our number and target. Unless, of course, you can avoid him all together and gather other people's badges."

I scratched the back of my head. "True," I muttered. But I think Hisoka saw my target and he'd definitely tell Illumi, no doubt that my own brother would come after me. I wondered if I'd be safe if I stuck by Killua's side.

Illumi wouldn't hurt his favorite sibling, right?

I had serious doubts; once, I wouldn't have doubted Illumi's ability to care about us enough to not kill us. So much for that trust.

I snorted. "I won't be able to escape."

"Is it Hisoka?"

"Close enough," I grouched.

Before Kurapika could answer, the ship tilted sideways. I yelped as I was swept off my feet. My head connected soundly with the metal wall; as I rolled about in pain, I heard Kurapika and someone else yelling into the communicator.

When Kurapika let out a Kurutanian curse, I raised my head. I couldn't speak his tribe's language but I knew from his tone that it was a swear word. I winced, rubbing the forming lump on my head. "What happened?" I croaked.

"Leorio and Gon have yet to surface."

My heart skipped a beat. "What about Killua?"

"He's with Hanzo, at the canon," Kurapika frowned, glancing at me. "Can you handle this?" I shot him a quizzical look. "Steering the ship, I mean," he clarified.

I nodded. "I learned from the captain," I said, grabbing the handle. "I didn't think his crappy lessons that nearly deafened my ear would come in handy someday."

"Drive safely," Kurapika called back as he rushed out of the control room.

I scoffed. "I just turn this wheel, what could happen?"

The moment the ship rocked to the side dangerously, nearly throwing me off my feet again, I knew I did something wrong. Killua yelled through the communicator. "Kurapika, Ria!" I winced, why did he insist on calling me that? He was just confirming Illumi's hypothesis. "What's wrong?"

I glanced at the steering wheel. Judging from the map Kurapika had hastily drawn from the crew members' description, there were jagged rocks to our left. I had turned the wheel right, to go in that direction, didn't I?

Oh, wait. For ships, turning right means going left and vise versa. Oops.

Coughing in embarrassment, I mumbled into the communicator that I had everything under control.

What I couldn't understand: why the ship crashed again.

"Right," Killua called sarcastically into the communicator, his voice nearly drowned out by the waves slamming against us, working against the ship. "You've got it _under_ control."

"Where's Kurapika?" Hanzo yelled.

"He's going to save Gon and Leorio from drowning—" My reply was cut short as the ship rocked. This wave was larger, stronger, harder than before and the next thing I knew, I was flying.

Only for a few seconds though, before I landed on hard surface; my head acquainted with a nearby dresser (who the hell uses a metal dresser?)

I was dazed, delirious with pain that blossomed from my back. I heal faster than most people, courtesy of the drugs I was given, but years without such medication, my regeneration abilites weren't as great as I'd hoped it'd be. My back screeched at me as I slid down the deck.

Spots blurred my vision; the rain and thunder drowned out Killua and Hanzo's voice; I wheezed for breath, desperately trying to keep my eyes open.

As I slump down to the ground, darkness claiming be, I thought I saw someone step forward from the shadows. I couldn't see who it was, just felt safe, like that person was a trusty ally.

It was completely ludicrous, but, I dreamed that it was Illu-nii who helped.

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

* * *

"Noel!"

I groaned when the shaking didn't stop. I rolled over, rubbing my eyes of the crust of sleep. I squinted through the sunlight to see clearer. "Gon...?" I stared at the few blossoming bruises on his face, suspecting that he'd taken quite the beating from the waves—not that I came out completely unscathed either. "You look like shit," I remarked bluntly.

He laughed. "You're no different!"

"Where's everyone else?"

"On the boat," Gon replied instantly.

I shot him a wry glance. "I could barely care less about everyone else, I meant our gang."

He stared blankly at me. "_Gang_?"

"You, me, Killua, Kurapika and Leorio—we make a good team," I remarked. I glanced at him when I noticed that he had yet to stop staring. "What?" I demanded, annoyed and embarrassed by his constant staring. "You don't think so?"

"No, no, no!" Gon said, waving his arms, grinning madly. "I mean, I was thinking the same but I didn't think you guys shared the same sentiment!"

Sad but true: I craved others' company. If I was completely alone with no one to distract me, my mind would work overtime, summoning memories I had no wish to recall. And then I'd be forced to think, to ponder upon something, questions that would get painful answers.

(_why did Illumi try to kill me?_) Even if he was ordered to, why didn't he try to do anything? Wouldn't a small, subtle warning be enough? Then, if he was ordered to, who and why would they give such an order?

Human company did little to help though; an exempt example was now, even with Gon chattering away right in front of me, I couldn't bring my mind to dissect whatever he was saying and give him the proper response.

All I managed to choke out was, a grunt of affirmation and adding it whenever he glanced at me expectantly or when I felt it appropriate.

"...so, so what do you think?"

I didn't think this question was one I could get away with a grunt. "Uh... it's private."

Gon shot me an odd look, before asking, "Are you okay?"

Turns out, Gon asked me which type of fish had more protein. And I said it was private.

I was pretty sure we looked like complete lunatics, rolling about the deck and laughing.

I wiped the tears away from my cheek, wondering why my skin prickled with goosebumps. I turned, and my laughter sort of died.

The sun blinded his face, but his long raven hair billowed in the wind, as long as it had been four years ago. A part of me needlessly noted that he must've been cutting it to keep it at the same length. Pointless details, I thought. I choked, the sound of distress drawing Gon's attention.

But when he turned, Illumi was already gone. As stealthy as ever, I thought grudgingly.

"What's wrong?" Gon asked, brows furrowing in concern as he stared me in the eye. "You look like you've seen a ghost and this isn't the first time you've react like this. Ever since you picked up your target for the next phase..." he frowned, shaking his head, uncharacteristically serious. "No, ever since this exam started, you've been jumpy, scared even. Really, if something or someone's bothering you, you can tell one of us."

My heart warmed at the thought, that they cared enough about me to try to help.

I smiled wryly. "There's very little you can do against my mortal enemy."

He arched a brow, seeming to be amused. "That serious? Who's he?"

"Kurapika asked the same question," I mused.

Gon, despite being oblivious at times, got it instantly. "You won't tell me," he said, pouting. "Well, who're you going to tell? My aunt Mito always say not to bottle things up and find someone to spill your heart out."

"She sounds wise," I said, trying to change the subject.

"So, anyone in mind?"

I frowned. No one came to mind. I may have said that we were a gang, a group of five friends—but no matter how close-knitted we were supposed to be, there will always be an odd one out, the black sheep: me.

Killua had Gon, Kurapika had Leorio and vise versa. Me? I had no one.

I had no best friend, just acquaintances and allies and friends, never best friends or a true companion that I could be at ease around. Truthfully? I always felt ugly, burning jealousy when I saw the four of them interact, completely leaving me out even though I myself didn't actively partake in conversations.

I was jealous of Killua for having such an awesome true friend in Gon, that he had someone other than his twin to cope with his problems and help him.

That was part of the reason why I didn't approach Killua: he was so distant now. I knew that he wanted to reconcile with me, wanted to know why I was here and how I survived, or why I decided to hide myself and abandon him for four years with the insanity that was our family.

I wanted to reconcile too, so many things to tell him. I always thought I would never have enough time to tell him all that I'd been through, but when I finally saw him face-to-face, all the words left, I had nothing to tell him in the end.

He had people, bonds, with someone other than me; he wouldn't be as close to me as we were.

He'd let me go, his dependence on me had disappeared.

It was time I let go too.

I don't know why I felt something burning behind my eyes, but I figured that it was just the sun. I turned away from Gon, rubbing my eyes. "Yeah," I croaked in response to his inquiry, he was concerned as to why I was zoning out again. "I'm just tired... and thirsty."

Gon did not disappoint. "I'll get you some water, wait, ne?" Then he sprang to his feet, darting off.

I rolled onto my back, glaring up at the sky. The sun glared back at me, like it was promising to scorch me to death, but despite the bright sun, I had never felt colder or lonelier in this world.

Something soft landed on my face.

I jerked in alarm, my self-pitying halting as my senses went crazy. I reached up to peel it off but an annoying voice spoke up. "Texture Surprise," The Joker said. "It changes the surface of something through imagination of the user. Using Nen, of course."

"I saw your brief stare-off just now," Hisoka mused. "I must say, your scared-shitless face was amusing."

I scowled, but with the cloth covering my face, I didn't think he noticed at all. "Take it off," I spat.

He didn't.

When he took the cloth off my face, minutes later, it was soaked through. He didn't complain and I didn't say anything.

We watched as the clouds rolled about in the sky, but after a long stiff moment, I turned; I wasn't too surprised to see empty space.

I snorted, glancing back up at the sky.

After emoting for a while, cloud-watching wasn't too hard. Once, I would need to concentrate hard to keep my mind blank. Now, I could just lay there and stare.

Not thinking anything... it was refreshing.

The breeze blew; a seagull cried but the cry wasn't as painful as before. I wonder why.

* * *

**Question:** Why is Hisoka so nice in this? O.O

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ


End file.
